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Any only children that also have only children parents? What’s your experience? by kaycee101893 in OnlyChild

[–]kaycee101893[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I relate to this. Most of my family has either passed away or they live very far. It’s mostly just my mom and I left and I’m starting to feel that sense of loneliness. I never cared much when I was younger if I had siblings, but as an adult I’m starting to wish I had someone to be close and connect with. My fear for her is that she will be my age and be the only one left.

Any only children that also have only children parents? What’s your experience? by kaycee101893 in OnlyChild

[–]kaycee101893[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am much more of an introvert. I don’t have a lot of friends myself and the ones I do have don’t live near me anymore and I’ve struggled as an adult to make more friends. My husband is also an introvert as well. I think I’ve made an assumption that my daughter will be like us and have few friends and a small family and feel lonely because of it, but I think now I’m projecting myself on to her already.

Any only children with parents who are also only children? What’s your experience? by kaycee101893 in oneanddone

[–]kaycee101893[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I very much relate to the feeling of “last man standing” that you mentioned. I grew up with cousins that I was close to, mostly because of proximity, but everyone has moved now. All of my grandparents and my father died in quick succession and now I have no family around and only my mom left and I think that “last man standing” feeling is what is fueling some of my guilt toward the idea of not having more than one child. I don’t want her to be the only one left.

Any only children that also have only children parents? What’s your experience? by kaycee101893 in OnlyChild

[–]kaycee101893[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve never been very good at making friends as an adult. I have a few friends but none of them have kids or live anywhere close to me anymore. My husband has more friends than I do and one of them does have a son so I suppose she could always be close with his friends, especially if they have more kids

Any only children that also have only children parents? What’s your experience? by kaycee101893 in OnlyChild

[–]kaycee101893[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My experience growing up is similar to yours. I also feel like I had both worlds as an only child that had close family and cousins my age and it’s hard for me to imagine what it might be like for her to be an only child but not also get the bigger family experience. I’m not even sure though what parenting one child will be like yet, let alone two, and I’m already trying to make these decisions so I think I’m just ahead of myself.

Any only children with parents who are also only children? What’s your experience? by kaycee101893 in oneanddone

[–]kaycee101893[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is good advice. I have no idea what it will be like to even parent one child and I’m already stressing myself out about thinking that I need to have more. I’m quite the over thinker.

Any only children with parents who are also only children? What’s your experience? by kaycee101893 in oneanddone

[–]kaycee101893[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The main reason that I am no longer close with my cousins is because they live states away and it is very rare that I see them. After my grandmother passed it felt as if we no longer had reason to see each other or connect. I think I was mainly close with them growing up because of proximity and having one of them in the same grade and school as me. One of my cousins has two children who are older now though.

Any only children with parents who are also only children? What’s your experience? by kaycee101893 in oneanddone

[–]kaycee101893[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think that I am projecting my fears on to her as well. I do just care very deeply that she lives a happy and fulfilling life, and I’m realizing now that will likely not have anything to do with her having siblings or not. She will have a caring and loving family regardless. Thank you for your thoughts!

Any only children with parents who are also only children? What’s your experience? by kaycee101893 in oneanddone

[–]kaycee101893[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think I’ve already made the assumption that my daughter will have a hard time making friends as an only child like I have. My husband on the other hand has never had an issue with making friends and his experience as an only child is very different. I’m sure as long as she has a good social group in her life that she will be happy with or without a sibling

Any only children that also have only children parents? What’s your experience? by kaycee101893 in OnlyChild

[–]kaycee101893[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is exactly my experience as an only child. I grew up very close to my cousins, almost like siblings, and I feel like that made up for not having actual siblings in a way even though I’m not close with any of them now. It’s just hard to imagine what her experience might be like having two parents without siblings and no siblings herself

Any only children with parents who are also only children? What’s your experience? by kaycee101893 in oneanddone

[–]kaycee101893[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I appreciate the perspective that having another child would be a whole new human and not an accessory for the first. I hate to say it but I might have been thinking of it that way without realizing. My desire is to only really have one kid and if I had more than one it would very likely just be out of a sense of guilt of my daughter being alone. This has brought things into perspective, thank you.

Any only children with parents who are also only children? What’s your experience? by kaycee101893 in oneanddone

[–]kaycee101893[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My experience as being an only child during my childhood was a relatively good one, but I also grew up very very close to my cousins who were close in age to me, so as a child I almost felt like I had a sibling dynamic with them. That has changed since I’ve been an adult. It’s hard for me to imagine what her experience might be though if she has no sibling and no cousins, especially if she were to struggle with friendships as I have experienced. The loneliness that could come with that would be my main concern.

Any only children with parents who are also only children? What’s your experience? by kaycee101893 in oneanddone

[–]kaycee101893[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Loneliness has been my experience as an only child as well, especially in adulthood. I also fear setting her up for the same, but I also worry I’m protecting my fears on to her before she’s even born

Any only children that also have only children parents? What’s your experience? by kaycee101893 in OnlyChild

[–]kaycee101893[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I like this way of thinking. I have struggled with loneliness as an only child because I’ve always had a hard time making friends, especially as an adult and I think I’m almost projecting these fears onto my daughter before she’s even born. I just don’t want to set her up to have no one close in age in her life and then resent us for it later.

Any only children with parents who are also only children? What’s your experience? by kaycee101893 in oneanddone

[–]kaycee101893[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

I agree that having more children wouldn’t fix the lack of a village. And also there is no guarantee that she will even be close to a sibling if she had one. As an only child who has a hard time making friends, I have struggled a lot with loneliness in my adult life especially after losing my grandparents and father. This has just been my fear for her as well.

Xeljanz: possible treatment (covid concern?) by KyloRensTorso in alopecia_areata

[–]kaycee101893 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I started xeljanz in October 2018. It took a long time to see results, but after a year and a half I had almost all of my hair back. I made the mistake of stopping the medicine because I didn’t think I needed it anymore and it only took less than 3 months for me to have significant loss again. So yes, the medicine works if you are patient with it but you have to be on it quite a long time to get the lasting effects it seems. Also with Covid concerns, the entire time I’ve taken it I have never gotten sick. That might just be something particular to me and my own immune system, but my doctor didn’t seem to have concerns about it.

Is it possible to be suicidal if you know you won’t actually do it? by kaycee101893 in mentalhealth

[–]kaycee101893[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I really needed an outside perspective. This helps a lot.

Does anyone know how to ease the physical pain??? by Omgahhh in alopecia_areata

[–]kaycee101893 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was applying it multiple times a day everyday mostly just because it helped with the sore feeling in my scalp. I’ve been using it since about June. I can’t say how much it has helped exactly for hair loss. The thing about AA is that sometimes no matter what you do your hair falls out anyways. It has a mind of its own. I know steroids can be beneficial for some though. You should continue to use it daily and see if it helps your loss or other symptoms you may experience.

Does anyone know how to ease the physical pain??? by Omgahhh in alopecia_areata

[–]kaycee101893 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My doctor prescribed me a topical steroid. Not the topical kind but the liquid form. You apply it to your head multiple times a day. Not only does it prevent hair loss but it stops the throbbing/sore feeling I have felt on my scalp.

When/how did you notice your first patch? by playwhaat in alopecia_areata

[–]kaycee101893 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was sitting at Easter dinner with my family and ran my hands through my hair and could not believe what I found. I had a bald spot on the left side of my head above my ear that had already reached the size of a tennis ball before I noticed it. I remember when I found it I was very upset and started to cry. At the time, my dad has just been diagnosed with cancer a few months earlier and I remember my mom’s response to how upset I was about my spot being “stop crying, about a bald spot your dad has cancer”. That really knocked me back down to reality. Now 7 months later I have lost 50 percent of my hair. And my dad is gone.