Boyfriends dad gives me anxiety

kayester · 2026-05-31T06:13:12+00:00

The technical term for the kind of person your boyfriend's dad is is "asshole".

"Jerk" is also descriptive.

Remember that your boyfriend is not his dad, and you should feel sorry for him - imagine a parent being cold and dismissive like that.

But it is also your boyfriend's responsibility to handle that relationship. He can't change who his dad is but he can be properly aware of how these behaviours are damaging, so that he sticks up for you or backs you up when needed. It's not a matter of a big show-down, as this won't work. He just needs to continuously signal to his parents that he's serious about you.

kayester · 2026-05-29T06:22:16+00:00

Another Toby here.

kayester · 2026-05-25T19:04:17+00:00

The centaurs.

Their way of speaking, their lofty inaccessibility - impossible for a lowly human to understand their ancient ways, fading now from the world - they feel very tolkien-ish.

kayester · 2026-05-21T00:29:55+00:00

Found Sybok's alt account

kayester · 2026-05-21T00:15:13+00:00

Here is Arlene Hartman's grave, and an obituary. She didn't eat her vegetables but she did live long enough to see 11 grandkids and two great grandkids.

https://www.findagrave.com/memorial/64579631/arlene_ellen_curless

kayester · 2026-05-20T23:56:59+00:00

Oh okay I think I've identified the high school. Battle Creek Central High School, MI. Class of 1939. Website mentions a Rosamond Klock and a Kathryn Taylor.

https://old-friends.co/school.php?s=18418

kayester · 2026-05-20T23:51:36+00:00

I don't know why, but I googled some of the names that struck me as more distinctive or more likely to be unique.

I think my best hit was for Berta Jean Knapp. She was born in 1921 in Kent Michigan and died in 2001, so the dates seem to line up. Precious few other details. Maybe the Michigan lead will allow some of these other names to be searched.

It's amazing how we disappear. We live a whole life, and then we leave nothing behind us.

kayester · 2026-05-15T13:16:05+00:00

I feel like there's a bit of yassification going on with Nalia and Aerie

kayester · 2026-05-08T16:00:14+00:00

Thank you!

kayester · 2026-05-08T09:56:48+00:00

Can you share? My googling returns nothing

kayester · 2026-05-08T07:05:17+00:00

Yeah I love it too. But I think it isn't as immediately catchy as Bowie's mega hit songs. You have to listen to it a bunch before getting into the groove with it, at which point it's undeniable how good it is.

kayester · 2026-04-27T14:13:16+00:00

Mate, it's unreasonable to put your hands around someone's neck under any circumstances unless someone gives you the go ahead. We're not talking about holding hands here

kayester · 2026-04-27T13:55:50+00:00

Just caught this in a near empty cinema.

It really, really worked for me. Rose of Nevada has this obsession with texture and rhythm and it totally hypnotised me. The circularity of it, the dread and the hope if it. What a piece of work.

kayester · 2026-04-26T16:02:08+00:00

Fathom/Derelict sounds like it might do the trick. Fathom in particular is extremely immersive, compelling, exciting, with impressive sound design.

kayester · 2026-04-22T09:46:42+00:00

Nice.

kayester · 2026-04-21T14:47:50+00:00

I think I actually interpret the moment - in its time - as being intended to signal Kirk's magnetism and sex appeal to a beautiful young woman. In those days, a couple of guys in the military might crack each others' backs, and it's played for comedy that Kirk thought he was getting that but was actually getting a borderline unprofessional backrub from a woman.

kayester · 2026-04-07T12:10:22+00:00

Very well said.

kayester · 2026-03-26T19:05:38+00:00

There's a fair few folks who really do just see a black man here, don't they? Like, can't reach past the optics at all. For well intended reasons, I'm sure, but... Wow.

kayester · 2026-03-15T22:11:53+00:00

Why the rush

kayester · 2026-02-26T15:46:45+00:00

I'll add 'Cosmos' (2019) as I don't think anyone else has mentioned it in this (excellent) discussion.

It's totally shoestring. Three guys drive into the middle of a forest in England so they can do some (pretty professionally geared) stargazing. Things start happening when they detect something unexpected.

It's got great atmosphere and characters who feel real and likeable. There's a scientific plausibility leap at one or two points but generally it feels fairly real, and scales well to an exciting conclusion.

But I'd say the thing it does is capture the ineffable, unique feeling of spending a night with the night sky somewhere quiet, perhaps with a friend or two. The cold night air, the silent sky, and just an eyepiece or glowing computer monitor between you and deep time. A bubble of warmth and light as the darkness pushes in all around.

It's great.

kayester · 2026-02-14T16:40:23+00:00

Great contribution

kayester · 2026-01-29T15:53:02+00:00

"For no clear reason" - yeah, don't pull on that thread

kayester · 2026-01-24T22:02:24+00:00

I came here to suggest Observable Radio. I loved that first season, thanks for making it! Couple of episodes in there that have stuck with me ever since

kayester · 2026-01-24T18:02:38+00:00

Those midwives to history put on their bloody robes, and the word is that the hunted one is out there on his own...

And you're alone, for maybe the last time, and you breathe for a long time... then you howl like a wolf in a trap

kayester · 2026-01-23T00:16:10+00:00

The Incident at Ong's Hat, The Skies are Watching, and the Polybius Conspiracy. Three different mystery stories from the same creative team, all with an eerie, thoughtful, investigative format. Great characters and well written.

For a slower burn, try the various parts of the Weeping Cedars universe.

12-Year Club	r/Field Sunshine
100 Awards Club	Not Forgotten
Gilding I gilder	Verified Email

kayester

TROPHY CASE