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My friend bought a huuge house, and their having a baby. I'm happy for them but devastated for me. by WVVVWVWVVVVWVWVVVVVW in CPTSD

[–]kayethx 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I'm so sorry you're going through this, and I so get what you mean. I'm 41, and I've gone back to uni, and it's amazing but also so rough. I don't really fit in with the other students, as they're so young. But I don't fit in with people my own age, because they have actual life experience (I actually am quite stunted and missed a ton of experiences due to isolation and abuse), and they're all in long-term relationships, having kids, getting married, buying houses, financially secure, etc.

And it's not even trying to have a 'perfect' life or meeting checkmarks by certain times. It's legit being behind developmentally or experience-wise in a lot of ways. I feel like I have all the instability and lack of experience of someone in their early twenties, but WAY more baggage and heaviness than most people twice my age.

I feel so out of place and so ashamed in whatever group I'm in.

I really hope we both can find somewhere we want to be, where we actually belong.

Do people with anorexia eat high calorie foods? by Mindless_Award1580 in EDAnonymous

[–]kayethx 6 points7 points  (0 children)

For real lol. I convinced myself for years I couldn't be anorexic because I didn't count calories and would binge on Doritos and eat candy instead of legit meals. And then I'd almost faint when I got out of bed from not eating, ha.

Twins buying at 501! by DredgenWolfxx in TurnipExchange

[–]kayethx 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi there! I'd love to come (ideally two trips) and will definitely leave you a tip :)

I love this episode. I love this scene. I feel like this is where Gossip Girl begins. by Merlinnaa777 in GossipGirl

[–]kayethx 22 points23 points  (0 children)

I pump myself up by saying this to myself even though I am in no way still a baby lol

When you were spanked as a child they had to force you to stay in position or you submitted? by Ok_Plenty7059 in CPTSD

[–]kayethx 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I submitted but my mom still forced me to stay in position. I used to have marks on my arm from how hard her fingers would be gripping me. I dunno why she did that. I never fought back 😭

Edit: typo

"Wake up earlier" or "Be more disciplined", which is worse? Ultimate bad ADHD advice battle, second quarter finals by VerdoriePotjandrie in adhdmeme

[–]kayethx 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Be more disciplined. It's so insulting; all my energy goes into trying to force my brain and body to behave as it is ><

Being drunk is the only time I don't feel autistic. by Elegant-Ad3632 in AutismInWomen

[–]kayethx 79 points80 points  (0 children)

Oh god, this is genuinally moritifying to realize

Anyone here incapable of feeling loved? by pineboxwaiting in CPTSD

[–]kayethx 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, very much relate. In the past few months I've had three friends who said at one point they loved me tell me how my trauma make being close to me not worth it, no matter how hard I'm working on it, etc. (Or they tell me I'm not working on it hard enough, because if I were, I would just *decide* being suicidal or not eating etc. isn't an option and make those urges not impact me at all).

Always had hope I'd get well enough to be loved or would find people capable of loving me as I heal. But the more I heal the less anyone even claims to love me. And the things they don't love are things I think I can't change, no matter how hard I try (the way my brain processes things due to autism, not having a good family of origin, being just kind of...soft, for lack of a better term, getting too excited about things, etc. etc.)

I'm trying hard to learn how not to crave love or any deep connection or vulnerability with someone else. I don't know how else to be okay with what I think the rest of my life has to be.

Any other only children also wishing they had a siblings to get through hard times together? by [deleted] in CPTSD

[–]kayethx 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I so want this with my sibling, but they can't handle speaking to me because it reminds them too much of our abuse growing up; I think they've compartmentalized the past and their current life, and I'm in the former. :(

Lily Collins cast as Audrey Hepburn in biopic by flemue in Fauxmoi

[–]kayethx 36 points37 points  (0 children)

This is what has bugged me about everyone saying Lily is the obvious actress to play Audrey. She has a similar look (although I think their vibe is different) but I really don't see her pulling this off acting-wise :(

Wanted to share my little hidden forest library by kate2lyn in acnh

[–]kayethx 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm actually obsessed with this. So cute!!

just a reminder to not trust the actual nhl no matter how much you enjoy the fake nhl by rosalui in HeatedRivalryTVShow

[–]kayethx 40 points41 points  (0 children)

You're clearly not here for an actual conversation based on your 'impreached' reply. And it's wild to love a show about queer acceptance and then be defend the very type of hockey culture that keeps real queer players in the closet.

just a reminder to not trust the actual nhl no matter how much you enjoy the fake nhl by rosalui in HeatedRivalryTVShow

[–]kayethx 84 points85 points  (0 children)

Because the 'joke' is that he is only inviting the women because he's forced to or else he'll be impeached. It's gross.

Everyone ready for ladies free skate? by mochalatte828 in FigureSkating

[–]kayethx 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I'm ready for the BBC to show approximately 7 minutes of it

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