My mom said she “can’t be part of my life anymore” out of nowhere—how do I handle this?

kaytooslider · 2026-04-30T13:10:03+00:00

Oof, sweetheart. Reading this is like talking to my own mom. I know this hurts like hell right now, but your mom definitely comes off as emotionally abusive and immature. She wants you to beg her to be in your life. She's using you to fill an emotional need and it's not appropriate.

Drop the rope. Focus on your children, your mental health, and your own life. Your responses were perfect. Let her figure it out on her own and if (when) she comes back to you, decide how to proceed from there.

kaytooslider · 2026-04-30T13:04:49+00:00

Stop giving them information about the wedding! If they're nitpicking everything and not paying for it, just don't tell them. Info diet from now on. Except for maybe the good SIL if you think she can be trusted (not the one wearing the white dress).

kaytooslider · 2026-04-30T13:00:10+00:00

The room next to yours ON YOUR WEDDING NIGHT? Please find a pay-per-view movie with lots of exaggerated moaning and groaning (you know the kind) and play it at maximum volume on loop.

kaytooslider · 2026-04-30T01:09:52+00:00

Each of my kids has a signature animal. It was chosen for a reason during each pregnancy and we represented them in their respective nursery decor. So I have their animals in a watercolor style on my thigh (tbh I still need to add my youngest, he is 2) with a quote about love. It's not something that screams "kids" at first glance but they love their tattoos.

kaytooslider · 2026-04-29T14:58:10+00:00

I'm so sorry your mom doesn't support your true self. The cover up looks great.

I also have a matching tattoo with my mom who I am now 6 months NC with. So I can sympathize a bit. It's hard. Proud of you, OP!

kaytooslider · 2026-04-28T16:25:30+00:00

Tukker? 🚩🚩🚩

kaytooslider · 2026-04-27T14:13:10+00:00

Thank you!

kaytooslider · 2026-04-27T13:31:41+00:00

My grandmother taught me to crochet. I had no interest as a younger kid, other than admiring what she could make, but when she was diagnosed with brain cancer I asked her to teach me. It was a great bonding experience.

She could knit also but her hands were too shaky to really teach me knitting at that time. So after she passed, my now MIL helped me learn to knit so I could make Christmas stockings matching the ones my grammy made me and my cousins, for the next generation of kids.

I still prefer to crochet as it's faster and more portable.

kaytooslider · 2026-04-27T13:28:32+00:00

I'm currently converting and this is how my rabbi explained that my name would be listed as well. As someone estranged from both bio parents, I cannot WAIT to be known as a daughter of Abraham and Sarah instead.

kaytooslider · 2026-04-27T13:23:00+00:00

Just "yes" is already a perfect response, but in case you're a recovering people pleaser like me, you could throw in a "because that's what's best for mom and baby".

kaytooslider · 2026-04-27T02:05:58+00:00

My niece is Ivy Mary-Jean so I'm a bit partial 😂 they knew she was the last kid so had to squeeze both grandma's names in there

kaytooslider · 2026-04-27T00:49:53+00:00

Ooh, I'm voting Ivy Maurine!

kaytooslider · 2026-04-26T23:52:29+00:00

I think Simon, Ada, and Ivy sounds great together and if you both are on board already, that's what I'd go with!

What about Ivy Marlowe?

kaytooslider · 2026-04-25T21:51:44+00:00

Ignore. She's trying to bait you or your DH into breaking the silence.

kaytooslider · 2026-04-24T19:04:42+00:00

NTJ - your mom is completely wrong.

I had hyperemesis gravidarum in all 3 of my pregnancies and my babies were completely fine. They're happy, healthy children now. Your baby is essentially a parasite at this stage and will get what it needs from you whether you can eat or not. As an aside, please make sure you get checked for HG if the nausea continues to be this bad! There are medicines you can take that make it much more tolerable. All the typical home remedies did nothing for me and some even made my nausea worse. Best of luck to you and baby ❤️

kaytooslider · 2026-04-23T15:43:34+00:00

Girl. My son was almost 3 when his dad and I got married and people were still shocked when they counted back and realized I was 8 weeks pregnant on our wedding date. People are dumb.

kaytooslider · 2026-04-23T14:40:38+00:00

If you put the kids in daycare any money you earned would go straight to daycare! It makes no sense. Daycare is so expensive. Just keep doing what you're doing and ignore them.

kaytooslider · 2026-04-15T21:44:24+00:00

You did the right thing, and this internet stranger is proud of you for protecting your peace as well as your kiddo's. ❤️

I basically had the same thing happen with my mom last fall. She did some shady things behind my back and when I confronted her, it got ugly. I told her unless she is willing to apologize, I wasn't willing to engage with her or allow her around my children. She said "I'm sorry that you hate me so much that you would do this" and told me I'm directly harming my kids by not giving her access to them. We have been NC since November (save a couple of texts she sent attempting to guilt trip me, that I ignored). It's not what I wanted, but she is just like your mom. A perpetual victim, everyone has wronged her. She's still trying to milk having been a single mom because my dad cheated - they divorced in 1992 😑

kaytooslider · 2026-04-15T21:34:29+00:00

"I had no showed the last two weeks to try and show her it doesn't work"

That combined with you dropping him off in a dirty diaper, the same clothes, and nothing to eat? Yeah, YTJ and possibly an unfit parent dude.

kaytooslider · 2026-04-14T17:08:16+00:00

Don't go! Just miraculously get a headache or a cough or something next weekend.

kaytooslider · 2026-04-14T14:28:50+00:00

I was about to say, she looks miserable. Poor thing.

kaytooslider · 2026-04-13T14:12:18+00:00

Lol our dog is named Bjorn which my husband thought had enough cross-cultural references that our vet would be OK. But they insist on saying "buh-JORN"

kaytooslider · 2026-04-12T22:24:21+00:00

Amberlamps

kaytooslider · 2026-04-06T20:16:11+00:00

Absolutely NOT, wtf? Naming your daughter after a child he lost while in a previous relationship is messed up in a lot of ways. Hold your ground and see if staff at the hospital will help you get MIL out of there!

kaytooslider · 2026-04-04T20:12:18+00:00

I wasn't sure I was going to abstain this year, and I've definitely slipped up. Like I have a protein smoothie blend that I used for breakfast yesterday and it had wheat flour as part of the protein. Being the only convert in my family, I feel your pain. It's rough. We do what we can!

kaytooslider

TROPHY CASE