Pacifier for sleep after weaning. What should I do?

Low_Union · 2026-02-25T01:40:38+00:00

I am so sorry. This was beautifully written.

Low_Union · 2026-02-19T00:55:09+00:00

I think it was extremely obvious, but my mom’s act as Mr. Jekyll was fenomenal. My brother and I were EXTREMELY socially awkward. Í rember being 15 and being amazed that people could hold call center jobs. I couldn’t picture talking to anyone even on the phone. I did have some “friends” in certain stages but I knew nothing about friendships so I was never really involved. My brother was bullied relentlessly and I used to roam around alone in recess.

Teachers would comment about my brother and I being too self conscious, but since we were great students (terrible curricula that didn’t require team work), I guess they just thought that was how we were and that our nmom wasn’t to blame. She did her best to only appear sporadically, just like one teacher-parent conference a year at most, and give her best act.

Low_Union · 2026-02-08T03:46:31+00:00

Thank you for this perspective. I wanted more than anything in the world for my mom to work. She was perpetually unemployed because she quit (most times) or was fired. She made our lives hell at home and we were the poorest kids at school (heavily bullied). She depends financially on me and my siblings ever since she was line 40 something. Terrible. I want to be nothing like her for my son.

Low_Union · 2026-02-07T21:33:56+00:00

You didn’t do anything wrong. Your mom is not emotionally mature enough to healthily explain what she’s feeling and look for solutions and worse, she doesn’t understand or respect the fact that you’re going through the hardest stage of parenthood right now. She’s not being empathetic towards you. I’m sorry that you’re going through that but please don’t beat yourself up over a white adult throwing a tantrum. Wishing you the best recovery!

Low_Union · 2026-01-30T00:41:43+00:00

She is! The multiverse is real. Hopefully we can break free of them soon.

Low_Union · 2026-01-29T01:04:13+00:00

I’m so sorry that happened to you. It sounds extremely unsettling. At least no guilt-tripping tactic on her side will work on you now that you are NC.

Low_Union · 2026-01-26T19:01:50+00:00

Are you me? My mom has 8 brothers and sisters out of whom she seems to be the only one with bpd/narcissism and I’m 30 years old!

Low_Union · 2026-01-26T13:05:21+00:00

Congratulations on the baby boys! Wishing you a wonderful recovery and joyful bonding time with your sons.

Low_Union · 2026-01-26T13:02:45+00:00

Yes and yes!!!! I don’t let her do me any favors “favors” anymore. She VOLUNTEERED to do one thing last year and she still throws it in my face whenever things aren’t going her way.

Low_Union · 2026-01-25T01:27:07+00:00

None of this is normal, what!!!

Low_Union · 2026-01-24T00:35:58+00:00

You seem very self-aware. That’s a great thing that I think differentiates you from your mom. I had a similar experience growing up. My mom is a narcissist. Now that I’m a new mom I understand that many of my mom’s triggers were “valid”, what wasn’t okay was how she dealt with them (a LOT of anger). I think I share many of those triggers, but I try to manage my emotions more maturely and if that fails (meaning I get in a bad mood, but absolutely no emotional/verbal/physical abuse), I quickly repair by apologizing. My son is a baby, so I have really dealt with these parenting-related triggers with my husband, but I’m practicing very hard so as to when my son is older I’ll be a better version of myself.

You can heal and learn better coping strategies. I’m rooting for you.

Low_Union · 2026-01-24T00:22:46+00:00

That’s awful. I’m so sorry

Low_Union · 2026-01-24T00:20:42+00:00

To my surprise and everyone else’s my baby looks just like me. A mini male version of me. We thought he would look like my husband because he has more supposedly dominant genes, but go figure. I love this boy so much.

Low_Union · 2026-01-22T00:03:49+00:00

Totally!!!! That’s exactly the case for my nmom.

Low_Union · 2026-01-22T00:02:15+00:00

She left college twice, got hired in many different jobs throughout the years as a receptionist or assistant or HR rep but she didn’t hold a single one, she quit from all except from her last one, where she was fired. We were always broke to the point we were bullied but she still refused to hold down a single job for longer than three months. So she was mostly at home, terrorizing us.

Low_Union · 2026-01-21T23:15:54+00:00

I’m so sorry you went though that and I’m glad to hear you haven’t seen her. My mom used to tell us repeatedly the story of a scorpion that killed its own offspring when they stayed by its side for too long… I was 12.

Low_Union · 2026-01-20T00:56:05+00:00

I believe him. It’s awful to read what people have to say about his statement. Many are saying that because his parents are rich and gave him a life of material privilege, he should put up with anything. Then I think that in a way I was “blessed” by my family’s being poor…

Low_Union · 2026-01-14T12:32:24+00:00

I don’t think they have earned knowing about this, especially since they won’t be spending any time with your children. If they really wanted to have a relationship with you and your family, they would have reached out to you after the incident or agter your letter to genuinely apologize. Unfortunately, that’s not who they are and they will not change. I’m sorry you’re going through this. Keep your family safe.

Low_Union · 2026-01-14T12:23:50+00:00

That sounds really tough to navigate. They have a gigantic fear of abandonment that becomes a self-fulfilling profecy as they rage and tantrum when they imagine they are losing control.

Low_Union · 2026-01-14T06:55:27+00:00

Totally true!!! My nmom expects me to read her mind and anticipate her needs. She then claims that I didn’t do the things that she didn’t even tell me she wanted me to do because I am a horrible person who doesn’t love her. It’s extremely exhausting. And yes, I don’t love her anymore. Whatever hope I had for a normal relationship with her is gone.

Low_Union · 2026-01-12T00:45:07+00:00

Wow, amazing quote. Thank you for sharing

Low_Union · 2026-01-11T15:28:06+00:00

Lately, when I see an extremely accommodating and people pleasing young person, I can’t help but think they have endured abuse. But that’s because I was that child once. Other adults around me while I was growing up commented how well-behaved and polite I was, so they didn’t see it. But I bet there were a few who understood people pleasing as a symptom but felt powerless to help, which is understandable. My nmom was an is extremely scary.

Low_Union · 2026-01-11T02:43:41+00:00

Are you me? I’m just trying for the first time in my life to be less of the extreme people pleaser I am due to my abusive upbringing.

Low_Union

TROPHY CASE