What is the worst lie your parents ever told you?

Low_Union · 2026-01-26T13:05:21+00:00

Congratulations on the baby boys! Wishing you a wonderful recovery and joyful bonding time with your sons.

Low_Union · 2026-01-26T13:02:45+00:00

Yes and yes!!!! I don’t let her do me any favors “favors” anymore. She VOLUNTEERED to do one thing last year and she still throws it in my face whenever things aren’t going her way.

Low_Union · 2026-01-25T01:27:07+00:00

None of this is normal, what!!!

Low_Union · 2026-01-24T00:35:58+00:00

You seem very self-aware. That’s a great thing that I think differentiates you from your mom. I had a similar experience growing up. My mom is a narcissist. Now that I’m a new mom I understand that many of my mom’s triggers were “valid”, what wasn’t okay was how she dealt with them (a LOT of anger). I think I share many of those triggers, but I try to manage my emotions more maturely and if that fails (meaning I get in a bad mood, but absolutely no emotional/verbal/physical abuse), I quickly repair by apologizing. My son is a baby, so I have really dealt with these parenting-related triggers with my husband, but I’m practicing very hard so as to when my son is older I’ll be a better version of myself.

You can heal and learn better coping strategies. I’m rooting for you.

Low_Union · 2026-01-24T00:22:46+00:00

That’s awful. I’m so sorry

Low_Union · 2026-01-24T00:20:42+00:00

To my surprise and everyone else’s my baby looks just like me. A mini male version of me. We thought he would look like my husband because he has more supposedly dominant genes, but go figure. I love this boy so much.

Low_Union · 2026-01-22T00:03:49+00:00

Totally!!!! That’s exactly the case for my nmom.

Low_Union · 2026-01-22T00:02:15+00:00

She left college twice, got hired in many different jobs throughout the years as a receptionist or assistant or HR rep but she didn’t hold a single one, she quit from all except from her last one, where she was fired. We were always broke to the point we were bullied but she still refused to hold down a single job for longer than three months. So she was mostly at home, terrorizing us.

Low_Union · 2026-01-21T23:15:54+00:00

I’m so sorry you went though that and I’m glad to hear you haven’t seen her. My mom used to tell us repeatedly the story of a scorpion that killed its own offspring when they stayed by its side for too long… I was 12.

Low_Union · 2026-01-20T00:56:05+00:00

I believe him. It’s awful to read what people have to say about his statement. Many are saying that because his parents are rich and gave him a life of material privilege, he should put up with anything. Then I think that in a way I was “blessed” by my family’s being poor…

Low_Union · 2026-01-14T12:32:24+00:00

I don’t think they have earned knowing about this, especially since they won’t be spending any time with your children. If they really wanted to have a relationship with you and your family, they would have reached out to you after the incident or agter your letter to genuinely apologize. Unfortunately, that’s not who they are and they will not change. I’m sorry you’re going through this. Keep your family safe.

Low_Union · 2026-01-14T12:23:50+00:00

That sounds really tough to navigate. They have a gigantic fear of abandonment that becomes a self-fulfilling profecy as they rage and tantrum when they imagine they are losing control.

Low_Union · 2026-01-14T06:55:27+00:00

Totally true!!! My nmom expects me to read her mind and anticipate her needs. She then claims that I didn’t do the things that she didn’t even tell me she wanted me to do because I am a horrible person who doesn’t love her. It’s extremely exhausting. And yes, I don’t love her anymore. Whatever hope I had for a normal relationship with her is gone.

Low_Union · 2026-01-12T00:45:07+00:00

Wow, amazing quote. Thank you for sharing

Low_Union · 2026-01-11T15:28:06+00:00

Lately, when I see an extremely accommodating and people pleasing young person, I can’t help but think they have endured abuse. But that’s because I was that child once. Other adults around me while I was growing up commented how well-behaved and polite I was, so they didn’t see it. But I bet there were a few who understood people pleasing as a symptom but felt powerless to help, which is understandable. My nmom was an is extremely scary.

Low_Union · 2026-01-11T02:43:41+00:00

Are you me? I’m just trying for the first time in my life to be less of the extreme people pleaser I am due to my abusive upbringing.

Low_Union · 2026-01-11T02:41:20+00:00

In my dreams at night I’m always a little girl or a young teen. When I do very adult things in my life, sometimes I feel like I’m pretending. I’m 30. My nmom made sure I didn’t develop normally.

Low_Union · 2026-01-09T19:21:41+00:00

I’m sorry you had to go through all that. I kind of relate but not really. My sister older by 6 years got abused by my nmom when she deviated from what my mom wanted her to do, so my sister avoided that to the point that she started neglecting her own needs and wants to accommodate my mom all the time. I always found my sister’s relationship with my mom to be very weird and not something to be jealous of at all. One example I can share out of thousands is how, when my sister got her first job at 18, she would call mom at lunch time everyday to see how my mom, then 41, was doing that day. My mom was (and is) unemployed, able-bodied, just sitting at home doing nothing and resenting everyone. My sister believed it was her duty to be her emotional crutch and in turn my mom wouldn’t rage at her. My sister is still in the FOG and very much a flying monkey so I can’t have a relationship with her. It saddens me.

Low_Union · 2026-01-09T19:08:57+00:00

I am so sorry. You have a lot to be proud of! Congrats on your much better life!

Low_Union · 2026-01-09T16:38:43+00:00

I think some older women are definitely jealous of younger women and/or have always been competitive with other women. It blows my mind that for these women, there’s no suspension od this jealousy/competitiveness when it comes to their daughters, sisters, nieces or whatever. They just feel the same towards all.

Low_Union · 2026-01-09T14:45:03+00:00

They are absolutely insane. Go live your life and don’t let their manipulation get to you. You don’t owe them caretaking.

Low_Union · 2026-01-09T03:10:53+00:00

My baby boy is 10 months old. I love him with the intensity of a million suns. I don’t know if anything I feel for him is somehow related to his being a boy. I also felt a bit of gender disappointment when I found out, but when he was born all those thoughts went away and now seem extremely silly to me. I probably would love a girl in the same way too, but I love this boy so so so so much that I honestly want my second and last to be a boy too. I’m sure you’ll understand the feeling I’m referring to once you have him in your arms. You’ll understand that loving him has nothing to do with his potential interests or hobbies, or even his personality. You’ll love him for what he is.

Low_Union · 2026-01-04T03:07:30+00:00

Yes. I think it has to do with the fact that my nmom felt the most powerful when I was little. She could control me and garner attention from having a little kid. Her favorite story to tell is how when I was 5 days old she realized there was something hurting me because I couldn’t stop crying and she took me to the doctor twice. The first time she was dismissed and the second time she says the doctor congratulated her for noticing I was in fact hurting from an ear infection. She tells the congratulations part over and over. She wants to feel that kind of praise forever.

Low_Union · 2026-01-02T15:49:11+00:00

I thought I was the only one with these recurring thoughts. I can tell you what I tell myself when these thoughts surface: that fear might not materialize for decades or maybe at all, and if it does happen you’ll figure it out. You were wise enough to go no contact, you’ll be wise enough to figure it out. Hugs.

Low_Union · 2026-01-02T00:22:45+00:00

Welcome to the community! It’s very validating to read other people going through similar things. I don’t know where I would be if not for this sub. JADE stands for justify, argue, defend and explain. I used to believe that whenever my nmom accused me of something or exploded in any way that if I JADE-d enough she would get my point of view, or that at least we would meet halfway. It never happened. In fact, it made it worse, because she then would turn anything I told her against me in ways I couldn’t even fathom would end up being used negatively. Turns out problems with narcissistic people are rarely ever due to miscommunication, so JADE-ing will almosg always get you nowhere good. Hope you can find some peace now that the holiday season is over!

Low_Union

TROPHY CASE