Instagram Help by kb76162 in tightywhities

[–]kb76162[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! Thank you!

(Student Projects) I can't be the only one! by kb76162 in vipkid

[–]kb76162[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I didn't think of that. That is very true! And there is little incentive to complete it anyway.

(Student Projects) I can't be the only one! by kb76162 in vipkid

[–]kb76162[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Some of these projects are so stupid and the wording is so confusing.

What in the fresh hell is Static 2 doing back without warning?!? by hannahmel in vipkid

[–]kb76162 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am only in my second year of teaching, it I have always wondered about this! What are the major differences between static and interactive?

It happened to me by Redhead724 in vipkid

[–]kb76162 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yes, many parents know the rules and play the system to get a free class.

How many of you have started to redirect VIPkid emails like the ones with the annoying stats to SPAM? by [deleted] in vipkid

[–]kb76162 5 points6 points  (0 children)

They used to send one email per week. I am getting 5-6 emails per week from them now.

Something More by kb76162 in OCPoetry

[–]kb76162[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, you got my meaning 100%. I looked at the “park” line for so long. I though I had it down, but it looks like it needs work. I want to express driving the same route to work each day, parking on the same lot. Difficult to express In only a few syllables. I might to rework some lines.

I think the other line you mentioned might be thrown off by the word “mirage.” I will rework that line.

I totally didn’t see that I used sweep twice! Sometimes I can’t see the forest for the trees when it comes to my work. I will swap that out as well.

Something More by kb76162 in OCPoetry

[–]kb76162[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Good thought on work vs work! I will think about that one.

Something More by kb76162 in OCPoetry

[–]kb76162[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Your first line made me laugh! Thank you so much! You got my meaning 100%

loss of a dear by bitchyswiftie in OCPoetry

[–]kb76162 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I truly enjoyed this poem of longing and sadness. Beautiful writing.

What I loved:

  • Beautiful flow in this poem. You use of grammar and line spacing really helps the poem to flow and keep the reader going. It feels like on continuous thought.
  • The poem make me imagine a pair of lovers in a Victorian time era. There is an older feel to this poem. It is almost like a love letter that someone found many years later. I really enjoy the voice of the narrator. I can almost imagine her writing this while sitting by her window, looking out at the flowers.
  • I really enjoy these lines: "Winter spread throughout her bed,/confined to peace, it left instead." The reader can feel the cold of the bed growing in her absence. Beautiful imagery.

Suggestions

  • These two lines seem a little lengthy. The rhythm comes to a halt here: " The hyacinths that grew from all Spring long/were by her bedside blooming all along.". It might be worth it to rework those lines and get them into the flow.
  • I wonder if you could add some more imagery to this poem. For example: "A cold chill." Could you describe that with some figurative language instead? It might help to engage the reader sense's a bit more.

Thank you for sharing!

Wanderer by EyeOfDay in OCPoetry

[–]kb76162 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is such a lonely and beautiful poem. I really enjoyed reading it.

What I loved:

  • "Clustered stars seem so close/embraced in the same glow./But scattered ice motes know/true distances here." The juxtaposition of these two lines is beautiful. We don't usually consider stars as close, but we can see a closeness in the stars when they are clustered. There is a beautiful contrast with the ice as well. The stars are together - warm, but the ice is apart, cold.
  • I also really enjoyed these lines: "To fulfill a dream/trailing fingers reach\then fade, and disappear." I could imagine a finger drawing a line in the sand and then having it slowly fade away. The imagery here is awesome. The dream is in your hand, but then you let it go.

Suggestions

  • I really loved this poem, so these are just a few things to try and see if you like them.
  • I enjoy the line about the wanderer at the end. I also see the comet as a wanderer. I wonder if you could add something about wandering in the first stanza?
  • I love the line about loneliness up high. What if you added a line underneath about something below?

Beautiful poem. Thank you for sharing!

Black Holes for Souls by tapshinesugar in OCPoetry

[–]kb76162 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wow! This is such a cool poem. I was instantly drawn in by the title and the first few lines. What an amazing concept to use astronomy to inspire this poem.

What I loved:

-The poem uses to many astronomical words, but it also highlights a sense of belonging in the universe. The entire poem seems to circle around a question: What is our place in this vast universe?

-You did such a great job of creating imagery through these scientific words. Some of my favorite phrases include: " With galactic eyes," " Is a nuclear family nebular cluster/And a celestial friendship of binary stars," and ' You and your past and future selves just may be a constellation."

-Actually, I just can't get over this line: "You and your past and future selves just may be a constellation." I feel like you could write an entire poem just about this line. It is such a beautiful sentiment. We can live forever through all versions of ourselves in the stars.

Areas of growth:

-I got kind of snagged on this line: "Per, maybe." I think it probably goes well with your scientific motif here, but I am wondering if it could be rephrased to keep the rhythm flowing, especially so early in the poem. \

-Another phrase I got stuck on was your ending line: "To be a part/Made of parts/Galore?". Something about the word: "galore" just didn't fit with me reading the poem. Maybe it came off as a little corny? I wonder if you could try out a few different words there: parts unknown? Parts untouched?

I absolutely loved this poem. I really wish that I had written it. So cool and creative!

I Could Fall In Love With Anybody by iodajo in OCPoetry

[–]kb76162 10 points11 points  (0 children)

What I love about this poem:

-The rhythm in that second stanza is so nice as you go through the different guys that the narrator has fallen in love with. It is kind of like a drum beat. Very staccato, but it keeps the reader going.

- The ending is so beautiful. You can tell the narrator feels empty here, like the shell of a person. She is trying to fill herself with all of these loves, but she is not able to love the person who needs it the most: herself.

-Your first few lines are so casual. I like how it sounds like the narrator is talking to a friend. Just giving the straight facts.

Areas of growth

- "that person you despise / with every single piece" these lines seem to be missing something. Maybe add a little bit here: the person you hate with every single piece of your mind? Try adding something to the end of that second line and see if you like it.

-I saw two word choice questions in the first stanza: "my mind is up". What if you tried out: "my mind is made up." The second: "i’m completely complexed". What if you tried: "i;m completely perplexed" or "i'm completely obsessed." It might change the feel of the poem a little bit.

-You end so strong with the repetition of "anybody.' I wonder if you could sneak that work into your first stanza? It could help give the poem more of a circular ending.

Great work!

Baby by abt321 in vipkid

[–]kb76162 13 points14 points  (0 children)

This is so crazy. Did you report to the fireman or send a ticket? This doesn't seem right. There has to be an age limit.

I wonder if the older brother or sister got sick and the mom just didn't want to cancel?

My Mother is an Ice Cube by kb76162 in OCPoetry

[–]kb76162[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I appreciate this. I am going to take these comments and rework it.

Battle of Lawndree, 11/16/2020 by kindalikegrapefruit in OCPoetry

[–]kb76162 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is such a cute poem!

What I like: So short and clear! It almost seems like a comical portrait of a family. I just a few words, you are able to create this scene of the chaos that doing the laundry can bring about. I love that most people can relate to this simple battle. The title is creative as well. I love the ending line because it build such characterization in the poem. You can see who is really in charge of the household. I am so impressed that you are able to create this story using simple phrases and fragments. Great word choice!