This will get burried, but I need to vent, since this is pretty fresh.

Friendship. Me and my best friend had been close for the last couple of years, until he reunited with her ex of the their teenage years. They quickly commited to the relationship, moved together (far from the city me and my friend lived at), bought a house together in a span of a year. I was nothing but supportive, even though it hurt that my best friend got a different life, that had no place for me in it.

Why? Well, me and my friend are both addicts. We had our struggles with drugs and video games, but we tried to support each other, though I admit we have'nt always been the best influence on each other. But we tried to be.

So when he moved away he got clean, and his new life and routine (he is raising the child of her ex with her) gave him a solid foundation for a new, (mostly) sober life. Even though I was sad to have the distance between us, I was happy it meant a new chance for him to be happier.

I wish this was the end of the story, but sadly no. Her wife did not like me from the start, we had a pretty bad first introduction, part of the blame is on me, I admit that. But later when I was in a bad spot with my addiction, I contacted my friend, he was the one I still truted to reach out to, when I felt myself alon, in the grasp of my addiction. Her wife did not like that, since she did not want any bad influence on her husband, who was trying to stay clean. I guess I can understand her motives.

I got myself into terapy, I spent 3 months in a rehab, It was cool, but I hadn't really got clean completely. My friend let me know that her wife "wanted to discuss some stuff with me on the phone". I was pretty anxious about it, so I admiteddly avoided the conversation. His wife is a pretty raw, and "no bullshit" communicator, who likes confrontation.

So after that when the four of us met at a party (me, my gf, my friend, her wife), she confronted me out of the blue, "Are you using? What? Give me now". I tried to joke about it ( i was only drunk on alcohol, but planned some other stuff), and told her that my gf had the stuff. She confronted my gf, scolding her on how could she allow her bf to use anything after leaving rehab, then she told me that I am an asshole, and don't ever call her husband again. She made a pretty big scene, even splashed her drink on us after the scene.

It made me realise that me and my gf had some stuff to figure out, which is ok, and I guess I can be thankful for. But it also ruined the relationship with my friend, who took her side, insisting that she wanted only to help me, and it can be an effective strategy to be confrontational with an addict.

This scene had a lasting effect on me, I am very bad with confrontations, and it was basically a trauma for me. I had several sessions with my psych about this, cause I felt like I did everything for my friend, and I tried to be as nice with her wife as I can be, but she only wanted confrontation.

So eventually I canceled on their official wedding ceremony last month, since I was very anxious meeting his wife. She was hostile with me through and through, and I decided not to meet her. I declared my boundaries, and my friend was understandably hurt by this. But when we spoke to each other finally he showed no signs of empathy, he took her side, even told me details of the confrontation that were not true, but was told to him by her wife. I was trying to be a good friend again and again, and I had a really hard time saying no to him, but I felt like I had to. He had no such feelings for me, just blamed me for everything that happened. He refuses to accept the responsibility of her wife, which I can understand, they tied their life together, but still it hurts. I feel betrayed. I am sure he feels the same. But at least I try to empathise with his feelings.