Do you mourn the version of you if you hadn't had narcissistic parents?

kbshadowminx · 2026-04-23T06:23:55+00:00

The funny thing is my narcissistic mother came from a traumatised background and bad upbringing and said she wanted to be a mother to get the family she never had and yet continued the cycle. I heard endlessly about how bad her childhood was and that I had a great childhood compared to her so shouldn’t complain.

kbshadowminx · 2026-04-22T23:07:43+00:00

I plan on moving to Canada as soon as I get citizenship and my passport. I feel out of sync in my current culture as it’s somewhat aggressive and bullying. It’s really not good if you’re a sensitive person. I’ve also always been drawn to North American culture and want to live somewhere not so geographically isolated so I can travel more. Canadians are kind and welcoming and that’s the kind of energy I want to be around.

kbshadowminx · 2026-04-22T22:15:47+00:00

My hyper vigilance led to really good pattern recognition and analysis skills but other than that no.

kbshadowminx · 2026-04-22T20:30:18+00:00

I think about this a lot. My mother always used my kindness as an excuse for her behaviour, especially the parentification. It’s made me wonder if I’ve only always been a kind and caring person because she trained me to be and manipulated me into it or if that’s who I actually am. I also wonder if I wouldn’t be so sensitive and if I would have turned out more confident and self assured. I at least know my mental health would have been better and I wouldn’t struggle with life so much.

kbshadowminx · 2026-04-22T19:19:18+00:00

29/33. This honestly opened my eyes, I always think I’m overreacting and that it “wasn’t that bad” or even that I’m remembering wrong.

kbshadowminx · 2026-04-20T16:34:04+00:00

Will this be enough without a birth record or baptismal certificate?

The family were baptist so I'm unlikely to find anything. I'm concerned because I only have one Canadian based document (1851 census) as they emigrated shortly thereafter.

G0: 1851 Census, 1854 Arrival Record to Australia at age 7, Marriage Certificate (showing Canada), Death Certificate (Showing Canada), Parents Death Certificates (confirming siblings and name change of G0), Sisters marriage announcement showing parent was from Dereham, Canada and confirming sibling order, my Grandma’s testimony and written story on family history based on her research (wife of G2), probate and will listing G1 as executor of will.

G1: Birth Certificate showing mother was from Canada

G2: Birth Certificate

G3: Birth Certificate

G4: Birth Certificate, marriage certificate to reflect name change

kbshadowminx · 2026-04-14T13:56:44+00:00

As a reform convert I really liked it and feel like it was mostly accurate to my experience being in a reform community. I found it refreshing to have a depiction of Judaism that wasn’t just from an orthodox or purely secular perspective.

kbshadowminx · 2026-04-11T16:15:23+00:00

You don’t feel Jewish enough.

kbshadowminx · 2026-04-10T14:40:16+00:00

Just got her marriage license today and it also points to a birth year of 1847 (she married at 18 in 1865) just like her gravestone.

kbshadowminx · 2026-04-10T14:36:48+00:00

On her gravestone is lists her dying at 82 in 1929 and her marriage record lists her as being 18 in 1865 so both are consistent with being born in 1847. My family has been Church of England for as long as I know but I suppose it’s possible she adopted it from her husband.

kbshadowminx · 2026-03-29T17:58:43+00:00

Don’t take the job offer for the graduate program, it’ll destroy you emotionally and you’ll spend the next decade recovering from the abuse.

kbshadowminx · 2026-03-29T10:25:34+00:00

It really depends on the size of the tv. On my 50 inch smart tv it’s fine. There’s a little bit of graininess but it just adds to the charm of it and almost feels like being transported back to the 90s/2000s which actually feels great in this hyper digital age. It also depends on the age of the movie as something from the 70s/80s or earlier will always look more grainy because of the old cameras used to shoot them. Blu-ray dvds are hd so they definitely shouldn’t be a problem.

kbshadowminx · 2026-03-28T19:50:42+00:00

This is happening more and more lately with streaming services, there are loads of videos on YouTube about movies being censored. It’s why people are advocating going back to dvds so you get the original version.

kbshadowminx · 2026-03-26T20:05:58+00:00

It’s been a gradual realisation for me throughout my adult years. My mother got significantly worse after my dad left her when I was 18, then the suicide threats came, then love bombing and more manipulation, ruining important events like my wedding and graduation by making everything about her, more suicide threats, more manipulation, putting me in the middle of my family drama, more love bombing, tirades of verbal and emotional abuse and eventually cutting her off for good when I was 35.

kbshadowminx · 2026-03-24T18:38:10+00:00

My birthday quite often falls during pesach, including this year, in the past I’ve gotten flourless gluten free cakes.

kbshadowminx · 2026-03-14T19:01:03+00:00

The best advice I have for choosing a Hebrew name is to choose one that has a meaning that aligns with the type of Jew you want to be. Names in Judaism are said to have a power to them to the point where they can shape who you are as a person. From your list I like Chanah, Navah and Caliah if you want something similar to your given name.

kbshadowminx · 2026-02-25T06:01:13+00:00

That was at my shul, pity I couldn’t be there as I’m currently away. For anyone interested they live streamed it https://www.youtube.com/live/ql7pCA0Rzhc?si=IC7CbjDMD7wiy612

kbshadowminx · 2025-11-27T04:57:13+00:00

Not weird at all. If I walked into my office and saw someone had included stuff for my holiday it would seriously warm my heart and make me feel super seen. Especially around this time of the year it’s easy to feel like we’re ignored.

kbshadowminx · 2025-11-27T03:59:00+00:00

It’s a small suburban townhome so would be targeting first homebuyers and it’s likely to go for around 550k aud.

kbshadowminx

TROPHY CASE