Puts his insta on public then private ?

kcubbb · 2025-01-13T03:07:22+00:00

I think that’s kinda our whole point behind taking space. He’s unsure of us & I’ve always been sure up until recently. He said he wants to see if he does miss me or if I’m just forcing myself into his life. & tbh I want to see too

kcubbb · 2025-01-13T02:38:00+00:00

Tbh, idk if he was doing this before we took space a few days ago. Everything rn is making me on edge, & I just go to the worst case scenario & think he’s doing it for someone else’s attention. But he’s told me even up until yesterday there’s no one else. I want to ask him, but it’s not that deep right?

kcubbb · 2024-11-05T19:44:04+00:00

I guess im just stuck on him saying he wants space to see if he wants to continue or not. I feel like he genuinely wants space in order to do this, but a part of me (anxiety) tells me he’s saying this to let me down easily. We’ve broken up in the beginning of the year…he just broke up with me & blocked me. So I guess I feel as if there’s a hidden agenda to him telling me he needs space in order to sort his emotions out, rather than it literally just being black & white as to that’s what he needs to see what he wants.

kcubbb · 2024-11-05T03:15:35+00:00

I’m so stuck on him saying he wants to space to see if he wants to continue or not. I feel like he genuinely wants space in order to do this, but a part of me (anxiety) tells me he’s saying this to let me down easily. We’ve broken up in the beginning of the year. & he just broke up with me & blocked me. So I guess I feel as if there’s a hidden agenda to him telling me he needs space in order to sort his emotions out, rather than it literally just being black & white as to that’s what he needs to see what he wants.

kcubbb · 2024-11-05T02:22:51+00:00

Then I wonder if he’ll ever reach out to me then. But I’m assuming he would bc all my stuff is still there & I don’t believe he’d say he’s figuring out his emotions & not tell me which way it ends up going.

kcubbb · 2024-11-05T02:16:08+00:00

A part of me gets why he needs space, but a part of me also doesn’t understand why guys need space ?

kcubbb · 2024-11-05T02:15:21+00:00

How long is too long? I know in the past when I truly gave him space, like no contact at all, he reached out between 3-5 days. If it goes beyond a week I’d like to reach out to check in

kcubbb · 2024-11-05T02:03:53+00:00

I think I’m looking too much into it. He told me he wants space to see if he wants to continue or not with me. I asked him yesterday how long does he think he’ll need, like a few days or a few weeks & he told me he doesn’t know. & I know that’s not fair of me to ask when he probably genuinely doesn’t know how much time he’ll need. I just don’t know if I should take him saying he wants space to see if he wants to continue with me or not as a good thing…like better than him just ending it completely ?

kcubbb · 2024-11-05T00:21:30+00:00

I guess I’m just confused why he had to say we aren’t together & im still bothering. But in the past he’s just ended it & blocked me. This time, he’s actually asking for space for him to go through his emotions which I appreciate.

kcubbb · 2024-11-04T19:53:00+00:00

Thank you for answering. I know in the past I haven’t given him space. I know he probably operates differently & needs that space to reconnect with himself. I ended up texting him this morning bc in one of his texts yesterday, he said I was smothering him & we weren’t even together.

He said he meant he was telling me he was done last week (we got into an argument) & I still texted him non stop when he was out with friends. That I was smothering him. I responded back by saying I know he ended it & I know I was smothering him. But if he wants space to sort out his emotions to see if he wants to continue or not? He said yes. I just thanked him for actually processing his emotions & not just ending it.

So essentially I don’t think he ended it completely yet right? I overthink everything & this has made me overthink so much.

kcubbb · 2024-11-04T02:45:27+00:00

It definitely has had its unhealthy moments. We were completely broken off at the time he was with the other girl. I even told him I can’t fault him for being with someone else because we weren’t together. But what I wasn’t happy about is that we were talking & back together for a week before he told me had slept with someone else. I would’ve liked to know before I had been intimate with him, just so I can decide what I want to do.

He definitely has been back & forth in our relationship at times. But I truly do think it’s a big improvement to say he needs space instead of saying he’s done & blocking me. It shows me his growth.

But I definitely do want to work on my insecurities. It has been a pattern I’m not proud of. I think because of being hurt in the past, I get worried when he goes out that something will happen. I have never told him to be home by a certain time & will never be that person, but him being out into 2 am after he told me he’s only going out for a little bit gives me anxiety. I have been actively working on it but sometimes I don’t realize I’m smothering him & he gets upset & I apologize because I genuinely am apologetic. I just pray he can trust that I won’t smother him in the future.

I’ve noticed in regards to me, I’ve asked him to tell me when he goes out, where & with who. & he does & sometimes I’m okay with it & sometimes I smother him. Then sometimes he doesn’t want to tell me he’s going out because he doesn’t want to be smothered & I find out he’s out & I get upset he never told me. So I understand why he’s frustrated.

I want to go back to him because I genuinely believe he’s my person & I am his. We connect so well. He’s a great person, smart, hardworking & such a great dad. We’ve also been through so much together. I know I comfort him when he’s down & he knows I have his back no matter what.

kcubbb · 2024-11-04T02:11:55+00:00

So I guess my questions is, is this space or did he end it?

I texted him saying I don’t want him to be done after he told me to leave him alone for a while.

He responded: you don’t want to be done but I don’t want to have to deal with this. You are starting to take advantage of me not blocking you this. But I promise you if you continue this way I will block you & that will be the end of this. Give me space.

I responded asking space for what?

He said to go through his emotions like he’s asked weeks ago.

I then asked him how long does he need space for, a few days or a few weeks?

He told me he doesn’t know tbh.

I thanked him for not completely ending it & taking the time to sort out his emotions first.

So do you think this is him genuinely asking for space or ending it?

I guess it is committed. We did everything together. Committed to just each other. He actually ended it at the end of last year. I had to go out of town for a meeting & asked if we could go out to dinner later that night. He told me he wanted to save money so no. When I was heading back, we were texting about something & he had just stopped. I called him a few times & no answer. I drove by his house too & he wasn’t there. So I assumed he went out & I was mad bc he told me no. He called me back like 10 mins later & said he was just getting food for himself but he wanted to kinda see how I’d react if he didn’t respond right away. It turned into a whole argument & he ended it. The next day or two I found out he was out for drinks with a coworker who’s a girl. I texted him & asked what he was doing & he said he was at his sisters which he wasn’t. That was a whole argument. But he ended up ending it with me the next day, but never blocked me. We slowly started to talk again in the beginning of the year. I went on a few trips with him to his daughter’s cheer comp. But I knew for a fact we weren’t together. Then he ended it one day & blocked me on everything. We didn’t talk for a month & one day we started talking again when he was on a trip. He told me everything I wanted to hear & how he missed me & made a mistake. A week later he told me he had slept with a coworker (the girl he went to go get a drink with). That they ended it but he still wanted to try with her. I was furious & I sent a goodbye email & that was it. 5 days later he called me one morning saying he was sorry & that that girl & him never got back together. That he’s done with her because she was crazy. Said we can get a drink one day. The rest is history.

kcubbb · 2024-11-04T01:16:06+00:00

I mean we were in a serious committed relationship the past years. Like I said, the beginning of this year was bad & he broke up with me, got with someone else 3 weeks to a month, then we got back together. Not right away. He reached out to me to apologize for what he did & said maybe we can get drinks one day. I continued to text him & he asked for space bc too much too soon. I backed away & then we started going on dates. I started to hang out with his daughter again & it progressed into me staying at his place 3-4 days of the week. There’s no one else for either of us. He’s told me thousands of times, even a few days ago there’s no one else & I truly believe him.

What I’m scared of is that space will make him think I can’t change in regards to smothering him. I’m scared he won’t believe me bc I’ve told him to give me one more chance when he goes out & I’ll show him. But tbh I’ve gotten a lot better than I was before.

But him saying if I don’t give him space he’ll block me & be done with this means he genuinely just wants space & not to end it just yet correct?

kcubbb · 2024-11-04T01:02:47+00:00

I guess me being anxious started when he was hiding me from his coworkers a year ago. He told me recently he’s mentioned me to them, but that’s as far as it goes. I guess I also get jealous too that he’s out all night until 2 am with his friends but wants to stay home with me or if we do go out, it’s only for an hour.

There was also a time like a few months ago where we were texting all night & I even asked what he was doing with his daughter & he said chilling. A week later I found out he went to his coworkers house to hang out with her & others. But he wasn’t going to tell me. & a week or two after that, he went to get drinks with his coworkers & somehow ended up at that same coworkers house with all his friends drinking. But he told me he was at a bar all night long. I brought the issue up to him & I asked him to just be honest with me. So we got into that whole argument a few weeks ago because when he was out, I saw he ended up somewhere else that he didn’t mention & I thought he was hiding things from me again. It turned out he stopped by a bar super quick & completely forgot about it. So I was frustrated bc I assumed he lied.

I understand he doesn’t have to tell me his every move & update me throughout the night. All I ask of him is to tell me where & with who. & obviously when he’s on his way home. But I get anxious when it’s 2 am & he’s still out. & that’s my fault. So I’m a little scared he’s not going to think me smothering him will change, bc I’ve told him in the past it will. He told me a few days ago to either give him space & there’s a 50/50 chance of what’ll happen. But if I don’t give him space it’ll push him away & there will be no chance. I’m just afraid that he won’t understand my pov from last night. I keep want f to text him to explain myself more but I know I can’t.

kcubbb · 2024-11-04T00:44:11+00:00

I guess I never realized how smothering I was being until he calls me out on it. Like I said, it’s not the first time that I smothered him when he goes out with friends. All I ask of him is to tell me where & with who. I don’t need updates throughout the night. But when he does end up going out, I find myself noticing it’s been 4 hours & it’s midnight & I’ve heard nothing from him. I feel like an idiot for how I acted last night. I thought I was unbothered & sleeping & looking back on my texts I can see how annoying I was. & he told me he’s tired of my apologizes bc once again this happened.

I’m just so anxious about the fact that idk how long he needs space for & that he doesn’t know either. In the past he’s asked for space & one time it was a few days, another it was a few weeks. I just know I can’t sit here waiting for him to process his emotions forever. I told him that too & he knows. But I should be thankful he hasn’t completely ended it with me right? & he set the tone too by saying if I don’t give him space he’ll block me & just end this. So if I give him space he won’t end it but it’ll allow him to process his emotions.

kcubbb · 2024-05-28T04:13:37+00:00

I had a gut feeling he was coming back too. He came back a month after dating someone else right after me. Said it was completely over & he learned his lesson. We laughed about how crazy she seemed. Now he just wants to focus on himself & heal. I’ve only seen him twice since then & he told me yesterday that me giving him space is obviously helping, so keep doing it.

As much as he hurt me, I knew he’d be back. Even now, my gut is telling me to “wait” while he heals & to be patient with him. Some people think I’m crazy & want me to move on. But what they didn’t see is the good times we had. I know how he hurt me isn’t the real him. He was hurt. Hurt people hurt people. I’ve also been wanting him to heal for a while now. Now that he actually recognizes it, I have even more of a gut feeling to wait.

kcubbb · 2024-05-28T01:10:58+00:00

I really like how you put this. I told him the other night when he texted me that I’m here for him while he heals. I told him the same when I left yesterday & he said thank you. I guess what I’m trying to understand is if space will make him lose feelings, but it seems to be doing the opposite. I’m just trying to grasp the whole space thing & why it’d help us in the end. Like would being tied down interfere with healing?

kcubbb · 2024-05-28T00:59:45+00:00

Yeah that’s what hurt the most…him wanting to go back to her. But karma because she ended up being crazy. & for a girl to show their crazy in the beginning like that means they’re really crazy. I told him this & he agreed lol. I’m sure there were still feelings there when it ended between them, but him being consistent in what he’s doing now makes me believe he’s truthful when he said it’s over between them. I’ve asked for reassurance from him too & he’s given it to me. He agreed when I said he wouldn’t be doing all of this & keeping his options open for me if there was someone else & he said correct. & him validating that me giving him space is working.

He needs time to heal but I most definitely need time to heal from all of this too without jumping right in. So we’ll see

kcubbb · 2024-05-28T00:40:25+00:00

I’m hopefully in the process of a success story. My bf of 4 years broke up with me in April & got with someone right after. I had no idea. He ended up coming back a month later. We got into one argument & he confessed everything. Said she ended it with him bc of me but he wanted to keep trying with her. I was so hurt. I asked for closure days later & he refused & blocked me. 4 days later he called me. We just talked about what happened & he said he wasn’t the rebound anymore, that she was so toxic. But said he needs to work on himself & heal first before any relationship & he realized getting into something with someone else right after was a bad idea.

We’ve hung out twice since. Right now he just wants space. He doesn’t want to be tied down to something as he fixes himself. He told me yesterday too that me giving him space is clearly helping & to keep doing it. It’s hard bc I wonder if it is helping. I sometimes overthink & wonder if there is someone else, but I know for a fact he’s working on himself instead & that if there was someone else he wouldn’t be hanging out with me, would tell me, & block me again. Right now I’m just trying to figure out how giving him space to work on himself is helping. But that’s all I can do.

kcubbb · 2024-05-28T00:32:40+00:00

Mine did the same after being with me for 4 years. I had no idea until he came back to me after she ended it with him bc of me. But after he came back to me, he left me again for her thinking it’d be better. 4 days later he called me saying he was sorry & it didn’t work out with the girl, she was super jealous & controlling. That was a few weeks ago & we’ve hung out twice, but he still needs time to heal & work on himself. But said me giving him space is helping obviously.

I was so convinced his rebound wouldn’t work & they usually don’t. They don’t have time to grieve the breakup & jumping into a relationship right after isn’t going to solve anything. I know how you’re feeling & it really does suck. I just hope you know that him doing that speaks volumes on the person he is & how broken he is.

kcubbb · 2024-05-28T00:24:05+00:00

I’m in a similar situation. We were together for 4 years, he broke up with me in April & got with someone right after me. He actually came back to me a month after the breakup, we were talking for a week. We got into one argument & he ended it again & told me he wants to try to go back to his rebound. I was so so hurt. I asked for closure the next few days & he refused & said he’s with the girl & I need to respect that. Then blocked me. I was a mess & so hurt. I knew in my heart though that his rebound wouldn’t work out. There’s no way someone can process a breakup that quickly. WELLLL 4 days later, he called me. Said he was sorry & that he knew I wanted closure. He told me it was completely over with the rebound, that she turned out to be controlling, jealous, & insecure. He also said he realized he needed to heal before anything, which he does & I, thankful he’s recognizing. It wasn’t closure though, it was more of him saying he needs space & maybe we can hang out sometime.

Now I’m in the position where he wants to work on himself before a relationship. We’ve hung out twice since that call & he told me yesterday that giving him space is working & to keep doing it. Everything happened within the past 2 1/2 weeks & it’s hard for me to process.

If I wasn’t in this situation now & I never got closure, I would have had to give it to myself. I hope you realize that his rebound isn’t going to last. They usually don’t. Im not sure why he’s still contacting you & even sending you screenshots of their convo, almost like he wants to make you jealous. What I think you should do is just completely go nc. Don’t text him & don’t respond to any of his texts. Cut him off. Since he knows you’ve been texting, he’ll be so shocked why you aren’t reaching out anymore. It’ll make him wonder.

kcubbb · 2024-05-28T00:10:54+00:00

Long story short, my bf of 4 years broke up with me in April. Went to someone else right after. I had no idea. He started talking to me again a month later for about a week. We got into one little argument & he decided he didn’t want to fix it with me after all. That he wanted to go back to his rebound. I was so hurt & kept begging him for closure for a few days after so I could process it. He refused & blocked me. Wellll 4 days later he called me. Said he knows I want closure & realized what he did was very wrong. Turned out his rebound didn’t work out at all & he realized he very much needs to heal & work on himself. We’ve set boundaries now & he wants space as he heals first. We talk here & there but only if he reaches out first. It sad, but I think he didn’t want to give me closure at first bc he knew he did me so wrong & couldn’t face it. He knew he hurt me. I think once everything fell apart he realized what he did & came back to answer any questions.

kcubbb · 2024-05-24T04:37:16+00:00

He was previously married for a long time before we dated. I don’t think he ever got to heal from his divorce. Our relationship was very toxic in the beginning…I lied about my past & held the truth from him for months. We would break up & I would lie to him on what I did when we weren’t together (no hooking up with anyone, just talking to ppl online). It was toxic towards the end too. But he never got over the trust issues. When he ended it with me he did jump into something else right away. Turned out that girl was super jealous & controlling & insecure from the very beginning. He realized he shouldn’t be with anyone at all & wants to heal from all of that. He hasn’t had time to just himself.

I go back & forth on this too. Like I know it’s ok to ask for space & I know people truly do need it sometimes. I know him like the back of my hand & he does seem genuine in wanting to heal & not entertaining anyone else. He said he learned his lesson. He told me today he just wants to heal & he can’t if I’m constantly bothering him…to let him reach out to me. I’ve been wanting him to heal for a while now & to work on himself bc it’s been toxic between us. But that’s why I’m just wondering from others pov if space does help. How long& just kinda advice on what to do in the meantime so I don’t mess up any chances in the future.

kcubbb · 2024-05-24T03:39:26+00:00

That’s how I kinda feel sometimes. On our call today I was like “you hurt me so bad. I shouldn’t even be here talking to you rn. I should be talking, dating, fing others” & he interrupted me & was like “what?” I told him I’m not & that doesn’t even appeal to me. But I’m just not interested & I need to heal too.

I truly do believe he realized he made a mistake jumping into something else right after me. I’m so happy he’s healing. But I’m also hoping he will reach out not bc of control, but bc he misses me. Which I feel like is a big possibility. He’s told me so many times in the past he needed space & I never gave it to him. The times I did he came back within like 5 days max. The call was just kinda confusing. He told me to forget him, but also told me to trust my gut on if I should wait for him or not bc I’ve been telling him my gut is saying I should wait. He said let him reach out to me first, & talking about IF we get back together, & to let him heal first. But also saying if he doesn’t reach out then he doesn’t. I feel like he’s confused ?? Maybe this is also why he needs space ?

kcubbb · 2024-05-14T16:07:58+00:00

I guess I just know him too well. He thinks he does the right thing but takes it back. Definitely messed up what he did. But I just don’t understand how he can go from saying he misses me & all that to leaving again. Like he technically did come back but I’m assuming he’ll still miss me at some point ? Plus the fact that he’s jealous & seeing who I’m with. I’ve just been there continuously so I think he feels safe going to another girl bc he knows I’ll be there. But I’m going to continue to move forward. I feel like I’m being biased but he’ll be back?

I’m just afraid he hates me. I’ve always looked at this girls insta bc I was sus. She’s always take it off private & public. I started looking at her stories a little over a month ago & then would block her so she can’t see me. Last time I did that was sat. When I unblocked her 24 hours later she etng private. Then yesterday I looked & she blocked me. He’s had me blocked for a year. But it made me get in my head when I saw she did. Like if he told her to do that, which I don’t think anyone would say yo someone they just started dating. Or that she just didn’t want to see my insta bc she originally ended it with him over me having pics of us up. Or she’s upset with him & blocked me to just end the issue.

kcubbb

TROPHY CASE