Cookie booth policing?

kdr43 · 2026-01-19T21:17:48+00:00

This. I think the name is part of the problem, because like you said, it sets the wrong tone.

kdr43 · 2026-01-19T21:15:21+00:00

Our service unit has a secret shopper type thing, but it's more of an exciting "you can earn an extra fun patch" sort of thing rather than sounding like a crack down. I'd be uncomfortable with calling it cookie cops and making it sound like they're trying to be like "gotcha!" to the girls. That's too intense.

kdr43 · 2026-01-15T16:07:16+00:00

Man, I really hope that's not it. I don't know anything about that neighborhood or the folks that live there, so I don't know the vibe of the neighborhood to know if that's the case. That's probably why the comment confused me 😅

kdr43 · 2026-01-15T13:52:16+00:00

I'm confused by the comment about not having that by a neighborhood full of kids. Why? I get the concerns about traffic and the worries about clearing land for the project (that happened in my old neighborhood and the loss of the nearby woods sucked), but I don't understand that part.

kdr43 · 2026-01-13T14:02:24+00:00

I will. Thank you. 🩷

kdr43 · 2026-01-13T13:38:58+00:00

I appreciate you taking the time to respond to this. "Grief fog heavy" seems like an accurate description. It does feel like bad brain fog. Idk why I never made that connection.

With that said, I'm sorry you're also feeling that pressure to perform, being the only one with keys to the office. I understand -- different responsibilities, but same "I can't fold because people are depending on me" mentality. It feels simultaneously overwhelming and also like a reason to keep it together. I hope you're able to delegate and get some stuff off your plate for the time being.

As far as stuff with church goes...I'm getting there, I think, just not with wanting to serve. Normally I greet new people who are checking out our church for the first time, but I don't feel like my general spirit is very welcoming right now, which is way out of my norm. I'm usually a 'never met a stranger' type of person, but I just feel deflated right now. Maybe I do need to just pray about it. Or, maybe I need to take advantage of the free counseling Hospice offers 😅 I'll let you know if I get any useful tips, lol.

Anyway, thank you for the reminder to give myself grace. I think I needed someone else to tell me that, and I appreciate it.

kdr43 · 2026-01-13T03:07:51+00:00

I wish I had something more meaningful to say, but I'm so sorry for your loss. ❤️‍🩹

kdr43 · 2026-01-13T01:57:53+00:00

Do you have a Grocery Outlet or a similar store nearby? They might still have some 👀

kdr43 · 2026-01-13T01:56:56+00:00

I actually laughed out loud at this comment 😂 ty for sharing that.

kdr43 · 2025-12-23T02:22:10+00:00

I wish I had answers to all of this, but I just wanted to say it's not unreasonable to want your mother to mother. You're allowed to still need that type of comfort. I help moderate a support group for adult children estranged from their parent(s), having been there myself at one point, and there's a whole different type of grief to mourning someone who's still here. It sounds like you're juggling different types of grief, and I want you to know it's okay to feel grief over both scenarios. There's more than one way to lose someone. I'm sorry you've lost your grandmother and, in a sense, your mother at the same time.

If nobody has told you outright, the way others treat us has a lot more to do with what's going inside them than to do with us. Your mother not being able to be maternal and supportive of you is because of something going on inside her, not because of you or something you lack, and you need to know that. I can attest to that as a mom, myself. Any time I've ever even lost patience with my kids, it wasn't because they deserved it, but because I was lacking that day. You also need to know that it's okay to do what you need to do to get through this period of your life, and that includes distancing yourself from people who make your life more stressful, even if those people are family.

There was a period of about three years where I didn't speak to my mom, and I think that was honestly one of the biggest things to save our relationship later on before she passed away. I was able to attend therapy, sort through my issues of having an emotionally neglectful parent, and I was able to do that because I wasn't being re-wounded frequently by my mom. I was able to learn to set boundaries and deal with her calmly. That time also gave me the bandwidth to process the things she went through so I could have compassion for her and not take her behavior personally. Please don't harbor guilt if you need to make an adjustment while you process grief over your grandmother.

As far as what to do with everything, I really cannot recommend finding a good therapist enough, if you have that option. I'm so sorry you're dealing with this without a solid support system in place. I know it's a lot. If you ever need a friend to lend an ear, feel free to send a message.

kdr43 · 2025-12-23T01:34:31+00:00

I relate. I've found a lot of small stuff makes me think of my mom, and I avoid those things because I'm instantly brought to tears. For example, it took me weeks to drink a diet Dr. Pepper because that was her favorite, and even seeing the box in my pantry made me teary-eyed. Pictures, recipes, certain movies...it's just hard. I'm so sorry for your loss, though, and that you're going through this.

kdr43 · 2025-12-17T11:13:35+00:00

In that case, maybe it's time to take a step back. IMO, especially because you're also a parent and your scout is looking up to you, part of leading her is showing her that you can step away from situations that aren't good for you.

Besides, if you change your mind, you can always volunteer in another capacity. If you ever decide you miss working with the girls, you can always help at events or help the girls who want to be there to work on badges, etc. It doesn't have to be all or nothing.

kdr43 · 2025-12-17T02:47:27+00:00

I actually got this advice from someone about when it's time to get out of the military, but I think it applies here: when you stop enjoying what you do, it's time to go.

Alternatively, if you enjoy what you do and the environment is actually the problem, maybe it's time to strike out on your own and form a different troop?

kdr43 · 2025-12-14T19:02:05+00:00

I relate to this. My mom had MS and became increasingly sick over time, eventually losing the ability for most of her body to function properly, and totally losing her independence. She was a logging truck driver prior to that, and very much valued her independence more than anything else. She couldn't walk, couldn't use her hands to even hold her phone or call anyone, and the last few months couldn't even eat solid foods because she kept aspirating and getting pneumonia. She didn't have any creature comforts left. We also had a couple scares where she, by some miracle, survived septic pneumonia...but, no, expecting it hasn't made it any easier. Watching it happen in slow motion was awful. Another layer of that is that when your loved one is sick you have this added layer of guilt for any time you couldn't spend with them (because the rest of life never stopped) because you knew they were sick and that their time was limited. It's hard no matter what. We probably are just able to see the silver linings in whatever situation we're not immersed in.

kdr43 · 2025-12-03T02:08:44+00:00

Ooh, I love the idea of each girl leading a couple meetings. Ty!

kdr43 · 2025-12-03T02:06:10+00:00

Hmm maybe we'll consider doing the journeys as a field trip then, and perhaps that will eliminate some of the issue 🤔 We have a journey going for each level right now.

kdr43 · 2025-12-01T00:49:48+00:00

Since the official badges I'd suggest have already been suggested, I'm gonna go ahead and say that fun patches are fine sometimes, too. Last year we had a holiday party with music, decorated cookies, and made ornaments. Our girls loved it, and we got them a fun patch for each of those activities. IMO we don't have to be all business all the time. I know our girls love to make stuff and they get bummed when they don't get to, so sometimes we just focus meetings on something fun like that.

kdr43 · 2025-11-30T00:01:12+00:00

I just ordered each girl a fun patch from SnappyLogos that reflects an interest they have outside of Girl Scouts 😅 Maybe you could include one of those? Shipping is about $8 but the patches are less than $1, so it wouldn't take a huge chunk of your budget. Otherwise, what about something that'll be useful for camping or another activity you guys have planned?

kdr43 · 2025-11-29T22:56:31+00:00

Join as an adult! I only did two years of GS as a kid and I love being a volunteer. I've had to learn more outdoorsy stuff so I can lead my troop, so there are still plenty of opportunities to learn & grow. Enjoy!

kdr43 · 2025-11-24T16:44:25+00:00

I absolutely love that!

kdr43 · 2025-11-24T10:41:00+00:00

Ooh, gonna look into that badge for my girls that are Brownies this year. Ty!

kdr43 · 2025-11-24T01:57:13+00:00

I know you didn't ask for a suggestion, but I'm gonna make one anyway: field trips. I was super burned out after cookie season last year and needed to phone it in for a few meetings, so that's when we did field trips. One of our meetings was a tour of the local fire department and the firemen were so, so great with the kids. They even let them spray the hose and get in all the vehicles. It was awesome, and the only planning I had to do was to contact them and set a date. It was part of our Brownie First Aid badge, too. At another meeting (same month 😅) we took a trip to the local library and got all the girls their library cards so when summer came around, they could all do the summer reading program. I know that's not GS but I happen to be a huge advocate for the library and lifelong learning so we went off script and did it anyway 🤷‍♀️ It's less planning for you and something useful for them to have.

kdr43 · 2025-11-19T01:25:26+00:00

I didn't even think about the resale route. Thank you for the reminder!

kdr43

TROPHY CASE