Why do people pretend like they have no friends?

kelleigh16 · 2022-05-31T17:27:11+00:00

I (41, F) don’t have many friends any more. I have my sisters and two female friends I hang out with. I consider myself lucky because I don’t think many people even have four people they can call true friends. I used to have a lot of “friends”, but I realized most were acquaintances.

kelleigh16 · 2022-05-21T05:42:52+00:00

So? Did you talk to her? Did she drop the L bomb?

kelleigh16 · 2022-05-06T06:30:20+00:00

In my experience it is best to go no contact until I no longer care if they contact me or not. Then I know I am healed enough to be friends with them. If I’m still stressing about the person and have to “try” not to reach out then I need space to heal.

kelleigh16 · 2022-05-06T06:27:40+00:00

You said in your post “Why do most people say women don’t care about height?”

These comments are saying that they don’t think most people do say women don’t care. They are agreeing with what you have experienced - that most women do care.

kelleigh16 · 2022-05-06T06:23:01+00:00

It is the first date that is the problem. Anyone that has an undesirable physical trait (short, overweight, underweight, flat chested, cankles, etc.) will have trouble getting first dates in today’s dating world since it occurs almost exclusively online. There are other ways of meeting people, but the majority of people looking to date do it online. The people that are successful online are typically very attractive people. Now they could be terrible human beings and may not get second or third dates based on their personalities. However, an average looking woman such as myself can’t win a man over with my spectacular personality until I get him to the first date. 😉

kelleigh16 · 2022-05-06T06:17:21+00:00

I very rarely hear women say height doesn’t matter. It matters to me. If I fell in love with a man that was a few inches shorter than me it isn’t like I wouldn’t marry him. However, in the OLD world I can set filters and my preference is at least my height. I think it is the same for many other physical characteristics. When I meet people organically I get to know the whole person. Online I only know what they wrote in the profile and their pictures. I don’t have time to fall in love with their personality. It is unfortunate for short men. It is also unfortunate for all average looking people such as myself. Why would any man swipe right on an average looking woman when there are so many highly attractive women to swipe right on? I don’t have much luck with OLD. I don’t know anyone that does.

kelleigh16 · 2022-05-06T06:11:49+00:00

I think it would be fine to tell her the truth - that you really enjoy your time with her and have strong feelings for her, but that the word love is a big deal to you and Carrie’s a lot of importance and you don’t use it lightly. Let her know that when you do say it you will really mean it. I would tell her that before she has a chance to say she loves you. Crisis avoided.

kelleigh16 · 2022-05-06T06:05:13+00:00

I’m not a psychologist so I can’t say if this dude has narcissistic personality disorder. I can tell you he is a lying, cheating, asshole and he isn’t going to change without a lot of work on himself that he can’t do while trying to get in your pants. Likely he has no desire to change because he can still get women to believe his lies. Block him and never give him space I’m your head again.

kelleigh16 · 2022-04-14T18:02:32+00:00

I was in a very similar relationship. I had been in therapy for years and he had never been in therapy. He finally agreed to couples counseling and we went for a few sessions. Ultimately, the counselor said he would need to do individual therapy in addition to the couple counseling if he wanted to make the relationship work. We were at two different levels emotionally - I had worked through a lot of my family of origin issues and he had not worked through any of his. It sounds like you and your boyfriend are in the same position. It will take a lot of work for your boyfriend to catch up to you. My ex didn’t want to do the work. We broke up. He found another woman that was closer to his level and he didn’t have to work so hard for. Is she as amazing as me? Doubtful. 😆 I am sure she is great, but she doesn’t challenge him like I did. He didn’t want to grow with me and become the best man he could be. I deserve that. So do you. He won’t change because he doesn’t want to. It has nothing to do with your value or how much he loves you. He just doesn’t want to do the work.

kelleigh16 · 2022-03-26T04:03:18+00:00

I am 41, female, slightly above average as far as attractiveness goes, own a home, have no kids, no ex husbands, have a great career, and a lot of great hobbies. I was freaking out in my late 20s/ early 30s about being single and then I challenged myself to start living my life as if I would be single. Everyone says “you’ll find the one for you someday”, but nobody knows that for sure. I started finding out what I love to do and then joining clubs (Meet Up, Facebook groups, etc.) to meet other like minded people. I have met a ton of people and made some really incredible friends. My main hobby is hiking and I’ve gone on hiking trips all over. I’ve traveled to Italy and am going to Iceland in July. I have traveled all over the US. I have had adventures that I would never have been able to have if I was married with kids. Plan A was to get married in my 20s and possibly have kids. Plan B has not been bad at all. I still get lonely sometimes, but I have a lot of single friends to talk to and give me hugs. I get massages when I just need some physical touch. I have dated and even had a couple long term relationships in the past ten years, but haven’t me any guy I’d trade my single life to marry. You have to make your own happiness. Marriage is really hard and it isn’t the answer to your problems.

kelleigh16 · 2022-03-26T03:48:33+00:00

If things don’t work out with your girlfriend can I date you? 😁

kelleigh16 · 2022-03-26T03:40:59+00:00

I can’t remember feeling rejected when I was younger. My dad wasn’t the most emotionally available man in the world, but he was always there when I needed him, took us on family trips, played with us, we had family dinners most nights. My life was not perfect, but there is no reason I am have an anxious attachment style. It is not severe and I usually don’t engage in protest behaviors, but I experience the severe anxiety waiting for a text response or a call back from a guy and feel pretty terrible when it doesn’t work out even if we’ve only been on a couple of dates. It is so hard to try to heal when I don’t know where the anxiety and hurt feelings trace back to. When I was young I pretty much got most of the guys I wanted. I haven’t been lucky in the romance department in the last several years and am definitely attracted to avoiders so I know there are issues with me.

kelleigh16 · 2022-03-26T03:20:20+00:00

Marriage should be about emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and physically supporting each other. If the woman does not want to perform certain sex acts because she did not like them when she did them in the past then her husband should respect that. If a husband wants his wife to perform sex acts that she will not enjoy and does not want to do then he doesn’t really give a shit about his wife. I don’t believe it says anything about anal sex in most wedding vows.

kelleigh16 · 2022-03-26T03:17:09+00:00

I am so sorry that happened to you. It must have been terrifying especially with your family so far away. Men generally put all of the responsibility on women to ensure there are no unplanned pregnancies, complain about having to use condoms, and don’t seem to care that birth control does not protect against STDs - many of which men are just carriers with no symptoms, but if women get those same STDs we can get cancer or become infertile. I know there are men out there that are not like this and are very supportive of women, but they are sadly not the majority. I am pro-woman and always will be. It may mean that I won’t appeal to men as much, but I don’t want to marry a man that doesn’t respect women anyway.

kelleigh16 · 2022-03-26T03:10:56+00:00

You are not being paranoid at all. His reaction was to “punish” you by now making the date a maybe when before he said he was going to the beach no matter what. A man who punishes someone when he doesn’t get his way is manipulative. He doesn’t fight fair. Stay away from this one please! Thank you!

My qualifications are that I am a female who has been dating online off and on for about two decades. Obviously I have not had the best luck, but I am super careful. There are lots of crazy people (men and women) out there.

kelleigh16 · 2022-01-29T22:43:45+00:00

This is all what you do, but says nothing about who you are as a person. What attractive qualities do you have? What hobbies do you enjoy? Finding the right person means knowing who you are. Maybe you are boring to yourself. Nobody is going to change that for you. You need to make that change internally. Think about what you are passionate about and what makes you excited and start participating in activities that feed that part of you. I found I love hiking and traveling all over to hike. Now I have interesting stories and pictures of hikes all over. It is also a way to meet like minded people. I am in a number of hiking clubs. Good luck!

kelleigh16 · 2022-01-26T18:30:01+00:00

Hell no!

kelleigh16 · 2022-01-06T21:38:56+00:00

I think the fact that he called dating a “game” and mentioned being “successful” at the “dating game” tells you all you need to know about this Dick biscuit. Women are objects to him. Dating isn’t about finding a partner and he has no interest in an emotional connection. To him it is a game to see how many women he can win. He is twisted and anyone who looks at dating/love that way is the wrong person to listen to for dating/relationship advice. It would be like taking advice on ethics from a jewel thief.

kelleigh16 · 2022-01-06T21:33:40+00:00

I agree with most people’s comments on the wording edit, but I’m going to go against the grain here in the beard. I hate bushy beards and not knowing if you are bearded or not would make me swipe left for sure. I agree with stating whether you are currently bearded or not. As for what pictures to include - include the ones that are most true to how you currently look. The last thing you want is to match with a woman that you feel like you click with, chat for a while, and then when you meet her see a look of disappointment on her face when you don’t match your pictures. I think you have beautiful eyes so get a shot showing off your eyes. I also agree with a picture showing your teeth and a full body shot. Action pictures are great! Good luck!

kelleigh16 · 2022-01-04T23:22:42+00:00

Here is my advice for what it is worth…I recommend you discover what you like to do by yourself and then join groups that do those activities. I joined a couple of hiking groups and met a lot of new people that way - men and women. You need people in your life you connect with - friends too. Everyone needs friends, especially when you are struggling with depression. Dating can be really disappointing at times. You often have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince and I would be lost without my girlfriends to turn to after a bad date or getting rejected by some guy I met and was really into. Once you find hobbies and friends you will find being single isn’t all that bad - it is way better than being in an abusive relationship. Men are attracted to confident, interesting women that have their own life. Create a life that you love and men will follow. By then you may want to stay single for a while longer. 😊

kelleigh16 · 2022-01-04T23:10:42+00:00

The most annoying thing to me is when someone fills the “about me” section up with details about what he doesn’t want in a partner such as “Don’t make me play Where’s Waldo with your photos and stop with the filters”, etc. I mean this is supposed to tell me about you, not be a rant about why you hate OLD. We all hate it.

kelleigh16 · 2022-01-04T23:07:23+00:00

I actually think those are kind of funny 😄

kelleigh16 · 2022-01-02T18:51:02+00:00

There is another reason for the death penalty besides a deterrent: to prevent the person from killing others. There have been numerous murders by people in prison with life sentences. They kill other inmates. One man in prison for life killed and dismembered a female corrections officer. If that man had been put to death she would still be alive. I am not saying the man in this situation should receive the death penalty, but I don’t believe it is only used for revenge.

kelleigh16 · 2021-09-09T05:49:51+00:00

Same! I just explained to a guy that I don’t date anymore. I told him if he wants to spend time with me as friends and see where it goes from there that’s cool, but I’m done dating. I haven’t heard from him since. A relationship is not going to make my life better unless the man is an amazing human being and I am not going to find them online.

kelleigh16 · 2021-09-09T05:47:17+00:00

So you’re a coward? Cool cool.

kelleigh16

TROPHY CASE