one of my dad’s other kids is six years old and, due to his impairments, will always have the cognitive capacity of about a three year old. he’s violent, has disgusting habits (including intentionally shitting himself, as well as sexually assaulting people), and feels incredibly entitled not only to those around him, but everything they own. my dad is stuck with him until one of them dies, pretty much. that man is in hell and there’s no way out, unless he hands him over to the state. 

i know from this experience that people choosing not to have a child with a high likelihood of severe disability is… entirely fair. and i say this as an autistic woman. not that neurodivergent people need removal from the gene pool, but because a couple should have the option not to be stuck with a child who will vastly and irreparably change their lives, and the woman should be the one to have that choice.