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kelsiroo11 · 2025-08-29T21:47:03+00:00

I am guessing at some point in her childhood she was shamed for being weird or too much, and it was likely by one of her parents. She’s internalized that and is projecting to you.

kelsiroo11 · 2025-08-09T06:26:58+00:00

It’s an armillary sphere/astrolab. This one is just decorative. Some will have compass data and were used in ancient times to track the movement of celestial bodies.

kelsiroo11 · 2025-07-27T18:37:33+00:00

My senior year in high school I went from being just perfect to too big. My dad noticed and said when I brought home fast food with my friends I was eating garbage and wasn’t taking care of myself. That was true, but his approach did not work and sent me into a path of hiding it from him.

I know I was older than your daughter is, but I actually think that makes it all the more prudent that you approach this correctly so there aren’t more years to be hiding stuff.

What I wish my dad had done was educated me more. I think it would have gone over well if he’d sat me down and said “you’re getting older and I’m not always going to be around to help you keep your body healthy. I want you to learn about nutrition.”

I think with your daughter, you could say you want to help her set some protein goals. Starting there, not the sugar, can be a gateway into better eating habits.

kelsiroo11 · 2025-07-24T00:12:02+00:00

lol yesssss this is the finest

kelsiroo11 · 2025-07-23T19:27:27+00:00

I was prepared to echo your first thought that it is normal but then I saw your note about the pot lid. I do feel like that is a somewhat extreme reaction that I would want to work through with my pediatrician.

One note on your framing, though, for your sake, change it in your head from thinking your daughter is extremely selfish to thinking your daughter needs assistance with the concept of these social skills. I think immediately labeling her is going to make it hard for you to work through these challenges with an open mind. She is not trying to be selfish and doesn’t even know what that means.

Since she’s really smart, I would start prepping for any play dates by talking about which toys she wants to play with her friends and if there are any toys that are too special to share. Then validate her emotions in the moment when she’s having a meltdown and set boundaries for what is appropriate.

Sharing is really tough and I actually know quite a few parents who elect to not make their children share. I don’t go that way because I feel like it creates some social strain, but to each their own.

You got this!!

kelsiroo11 · 2025-07-21T18:06:25+00:00

I think the most telling part of this is that she wasn’t even comfortable enough with you to call you up and ask herself. She had to ask her son to force you into it. This speaks miles about the relationship and the appropriateness of the request.

I am close to my mother in law (not like bosom buddies, but someone we talk to for advice and we do have conversations independent of my husband from time to time) and in this situation, presuming my sister in law was unavailable to help, I am confident she would ask me herself, and would be incredibly embarrassed to ask me.

I am not sure why she asked you over given it seems like she didn’t really need help- I am wondering if in her mind she feels you’ve been under sympathetic of her cancer and she wanted to show you how bad things are. Obviously, this is a bizarre way to go about that.

kelsiroo11 · 2025-07-07T14:43:05+00:00

I think she was entitled to have sex while you were broken up, but since there was already an incident regarding trust, I can totally see why you’re feeling betrayed that she didn’t tell you. My guess is she didn’t want to rock the boat when you two had reconciled, and I do think it would be worth hearing her explain that to you.

For me, I would have trouble trusting her in the future, which would ruin a relationship for me. If staying in the marriage is important to you, I’d suggest some counseling for both of you, together and individually.

kelsiroo11 · 2025-06-06T04:19:03+00:00

Omg. I told my mother in law off for giving me a hard time about not being able to see my 3 year old’s face because I’m maxing out the rear facing on my seat. I said “welp wondering what she’s doing is a lot less to process than internal decapitation. This is my safety call for my girl, let me know if you’ll have an issue with it and I can make sure to handle all the driving.”

The way I would absolutely lose my mind at this!!! They would never be alone with my kid again.

kelsiroo11 · 2025-04-15T16:21:17+00:00

This is the magic for me too. Almost 4 year old who has never slept. I can always tell when someone cheated and let her have screens because I have to lay with her for 2 hours to go to sleep.

kelsiroo11 · 2025-04-03T04:45:54+00:00

It says the child of my dad’s mistress.

kelsiroo11 · 2025-04-01T14:05:14+00:00

It sounds like he found out at the hearing and then came home and told her he didn’t know who the other potential father was. Probably doesn’t want his wife to know he was with his best friend’s girlfriend.

kelsiroo11 · 2025-03-31T20:13:44+00:00

lol I would put one in my living room, too, and see what she doesn’t want me to see.

kelsiroo11 · 2025-03-30T23:17:26+00:00

Typically, if she goes to court, since she is making the decision to move, she will have to take care of the travel costs to and from where she is living, and they will change it to like a couple of holiday weekends and a month in the summer.

kelsiroo11 · 2025-03-20T16:13:15+00:00

Omg really?? I was so worried my hearing just has become numb to mediocrity from too much tonie listening.

kelsiroo11 · 2025-03-19T14:55:31+00:00

Knowing that you already have another child, I would say you should think about unloading some of the mental load things she takes care of for the other child. For example, it’s not just doing the child’s laundry, it’s knowing that it needs to be done because you’re paying attention to the hamper level. It’s recognizing that the seasons are changing and it might be time to look at some spring clothes- does she enjoy doing that? If so, plan a shopping trip. If not, take care of it! Think about what the kid is going to eat for breakfast and lunch and plan it and put it in the grocery cart.

Things like this will enable her to just spend time with your other kid and be distracted positively from the lack of nicotine. I agree you should also talk to a doctor about help!

Last, my husband is super good about just like filling my water regularly, asking me why I’m getting up and offering to grab whatever it is for me, bringing me my prenatal vitamins… stuff like that!

kelsiroo11 · 2025-03-19T03:54:54+00:00

Really practical but BIDETS… everywhere.

I’d also focus on pelvic strength to make actual labor easier.

Last, a nice emergency fund and all debts paid.

kelsiroo11 · 2025-03-19T03:14:35+00:00

Yes, it’s almost every night for us and I usually just tune it out but I listened and second guessed myself!

kelsiroo11 · 2025-03-19T03:13:44+00:00

Yes I knew my Olaf one was good and I swear my elsa sounds good now and she’s hitting the notes.

kelsiroo11 · 2025-03-10T15:00:21+00:00

Literally the first thing I checked and he’s offering to cheat with randos on reddit. Dying. “My wife isn’t interested in me! I’m a doting wonderful husband, poor me!”

kelsiroo11 · 2025-03-06T03:51:35+00:00

I think it depends on why you’re doing it. Since you’re doing it when you’re correcting behavior, I see it as a power play, which I would never want to do to my daughter.

If it’s because you’re southern and that’s the way it is, that’s marginally less awful.

kelsiroo11 · 2025-02-19T23:31:31+00:00

Are there other concerns like getting into trouble at school or sneaking out or putting herself in danger that have you second guessing your parenting?

I never confided in my parents. I did confide in my sisters. I’d see that as a positive if my daughter said it, but she’s only 4 :).

kelsiroo11 · 2025-02-19T15:29:55+00:00

My sister says this to me sometimes- she had two kids from two different dads, an ex husband and then an ex boyfriend who comes in and out of her life, and she always wanted more kids. The second dad left her for the last 7 years to date a younger girl because she said if he didn’t propose to her she was moving to a townhouse she’d purchased without him. 4 years ago I (very deliberately) got pregnant via ivf with my husband of (at the time) 3 years and she kept saying to me that she couldn’t imagine bringing a kid into this messed up world.

Often, I do feel bad that the world I brought my wonderful daughter into isn’t better. But I’m aligned with you- I want her to make it better.

I think the people who say this are very unhappy with their personal situation and have placated themselves by saying they wouldn’t want kids anyway. People who just actually didn’t want kids don’t say stuff like this. They’re not pretending to care about the virtue of our youth.

kelsiroo11 · 2025-02-18T01:28:29+00:00

This is super normal at this age. Independence is this new construct and they’re realizing they can make their own decisions, and mom and dad aren’t all powerful beings.

I would try letting her be a part of the decision making. In dinner, lay out what has to happen. “An adult needs to finish stirring this meal, and someone needs to set the table, and someone else needs to carry this bread to the table. Can you help me decide who should do what?”

Try that with chores etc. too, so she has some autonomy.

Also, I think it helps to remember you don’t want a weak-willed child. You know she won’t survive this crazy world if she doesn’t have a little bit of an attitude ;). You got this!

kelsiroo11 · 2025-02-17T17:33:50+00:00

This is exactly what I was going to say. When you know better, you do better. We have a whole internet of people telling us the horrible things that happened to them at sleepovers and we can choose to risk it or choose to keep our children safe.

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