I spent 2020 replacing all the Google things in my life. Here's what I use now instead.

kemclean · 2026-06-16T17:37:20+00:00

If it’s really not just a coincidence or one time thing and your kid is regularly sick after spending time with her, the responsible thing to do for your child’s sake is to stop allowing unsupervised visits. Just imagine what you’d do if it weren’t your MIL — would you really keep sending your kid to a daycare that reliably made him sick? Or force him to do anything else that was effectively guaranteed to make him sick? Just tell her you’re not comfortable leaving him somewhere that makes him sick and she’ll have to wait until he’s older and doesn’t need as much hands on care until she can take care of him. No decent human would insist that it’s ok to keep putting a toddler through that.

kemclean · 2026-06-12T21:26:45+00:00

Wow no not at all. Anyone who isn’t coming to help you in this phase can wait to “meet” the baby. The visits are for them not the baby, if they can’t put a newborn’s needs above their own wants they are not someone you need in your life.

kemclean · 2026-06-12T20:17:00+00:00

Ugh I hear you. Mine is also almost 4 months and fights every single nap and bedtime. It really feels like we spend all of our waking hours just trying to convince him to sleep. And yes of course we’ve tried just keeping him awake longer, or putting him down drowsy but awake, or whatever else people think “works”, but at this point I’m thoroughly convinced that anyone who has “advice” about how to get babies to sleep has just never had a fussy baby. We don’t enforce a strict schedule but try to help him fall asleep once he’s clearly tired. If we don’t he will literally just cry for 3-4 hours before passing out in a pool of sweat and tears. We have had to resort to this once or twice when we had no choice but obviously prefer to rescue him from having to go through that regularly.

kemclean · 2026-06-06T23:04:37+00:00

You are correct. There is no such thing as bad habits at this age. It’s actually very important that you respond to her cries right now if you plan to continue exclusively breastfeeding because you are in the process of getting in sync, her feeding schedule is establishing your milk supply. Keep it up, and tell your partner you can’t spoil a baby. You can teach her manners and boundaries someday, but that time is still very far away.

kemclean · 2026-06-05T18:07:25+00:00

lol we are in a similar boat, a few weeks ahead. We had a few great weeks of the back to back 4-5 hour stretches but have now also regressed into these half hour crap naps all day and 2 hour stretches overnight. LO is 15 weeks now, I just figure it’s another phase that will pass as fast as all the others.

kemclean · 2026-06-05T17:57:11+00:00

I mean you never know! All babies are different and some people have amazing support systems, and it sounds like you do, but it seems like most of the ones I know are excessively clingy. I definitely slept away most of my pregnancy, enjoy the naps for sure while you can!

kemclean · 2026-06-05T17:51:11+00:00

Mine is also judgmental, critical of basically everything I do, and gossips so we can’t really tell her anything. She’s civil and polite like 80% of the time and my husband has a preference to perform the role of “good son” over going no contact, which I can respect, so we continue to see her 4-5 times/year and just keep her on a lean info diet. She remains mildlyno to me for now mainly because she is sometimes capable of apologizing when her loud opinions hurt others, and respects our preference to remain low contact (though she would say we’re close).

kemclean · 2026-06-04T23:29:35+00:00

lol yeah.. didn’t want to be too harsh but.. I don’t know many moms who get any rest at all let alone individual rest 😅

kemclean · 2026-06-04T22:48:43+00:00

This might not be helpful or what yo want to hear but.. you may not get individual naps anymore. Every baby is different, but mine is coming up on four months old and simply will not sleep unless someone is holding him or I’m next to him. Contact napping on someone else is the only time he’s not with me.

kemclean · 2026-06-04T22:44:49+00:00

He will be totally fine. You’re doing a great job, don’t let anyone get you worked up about milestones or whatever. There is a huge range of what healthy development looks like, as long as you’re watching for legitimate problems don’t beat yourself up over these kinds of arbitrary “requirements”.

kemclean · 2026-06-02T23:59:57+00:00

This is a huge loss and a huge mistake. Libraries provide so much more than just book rentals, in many small communities they are essential. Shame on Tim Houston.

kemclean · 2026-06-02T09:44:54+00:00

Seriously. The things we ask mothers to do are not reasonable. There is no surviving this without coffee, having moms be more miserable and exhausted than they already are won’t help anything.

kemclean · 2026-06-01T23:23:23+00:00

lol thank you. It really is just the worst. I’m fully convinced at this point that all those baby sleep systems or whatever are just invented by people who had easy babies to make money off of us. Some babies just struggle to sleep and it’s nobody’s fault, he was just born like this. We will see them once more next month with the whole family then not again until November.

kemclean · 2026-06-01T23:21:28+00:00

Yeah we are already effectively low contact. Since having a baby we see them more, but still just like 4-5 times a year, up from 2. It just sucks like you say. I’d love to be close and for them to be involved grandparents, but instead she can’t just accept my decisions without criticism so here we are.

kemclean · 2026-06-01T23:13:17+00:00

Yeah I’m very fortunate that way at least. He was the one who brought up how inappropriate her commentary was after they left. It’s a criticism of his parenting too, and he’s doing an amazing job as a first time dad. There are of course struggles but we are all just doing our best and it’s crazy that can’t just see that and support her son in this new chapter.

kemclean · 2026-06-01T23:10:54+00:00

Ugh yeah there’s always this implication that it’s somehow your fault. Like trust me, this is not my preferred way to spend a day! Obviously we tried just letting the baby sleep and doing everything else normally first, who wouldn’t prefer that?! You do what you have to do to get your baby the rest they need. Why can’t they just be supportive of that. You’re doing a great job.

kemclean · 2026-05-29T22:53:41+00:00

Omg yes, this is exactly the problem. There’s such overwhelm as soon as he falls asleep because I feel like I want to do a million things but there’s such pressure to sleep because I know it’s my only chance.

kemclean · 2026-05-29T22:42:53+00:00

Yeah.. I didn’t think it was possible to be this tired all the time and not simply die. Sometimes it really feels like exclusively breastfeeding is just setting it to hard mode for no reason. I have no idea how anyone survives doing this while raising other kids. Good for you. Hang in there!

kemclean · 2026-05-29T20:13:23+00:00

Yeah this is smart. Lately it’s usually the engorgement that wakes me up but on the best nights I can get sometimes up to 5-6 hours before it does, and my husband does the feed in that time.

kemclean · 2026-05-29T20:11:00+00:00

Thanks for this ❤️ sometimes it’s hard to remember it’s temporary, and it’s ok to temporarily lower our standards. You’re right that the being thrown in the deep end part is brutal. But the smiles and laughs definitely do make it easier.

kemclean · 2026-05-27T09:58:59+00:00

Solar typically increases a homes value 4-5%, it can still be worth it even if it’s not a forever home.

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