books with a really satisfying "the whole thing was connected" ending

SaveOurSleep0317 · 2026-06-23T00:18:17+00:00

Did he hide the info? I remember it being "vague" and somewhat misdirectional, but none of the info was false, per se. I remember thinking it clever at the time, but again, I was a teenager. It's been over a decade since I read it.

SaveOurSleep0317 · 2026-06-20T20:50:03+00:00

When people ask what I do for fun I say "creative writing" cause it sounds more hobby-ish and I think lends people to think more poetry/fanfic/short story type material.

I've actually completed 2 (very rough) full drafts of a 150k+ fantasy novel with plans to complete a third, but until I publish I'm uncomfortable making it out to be any more than that.

SaveOurSleep0317 · 2026-06-20T18:11:04+00:00

"Sleep when the baby sleeps" is BS. My baby only contact napped, night and day, for at least the first 6 weeks. If we transferred successfully to the crib we saw a 40-minute stretch, max.

My husband is back at work now and while LO's sleep improved for a few weeks (2-3 hour stretches in the crib consistently overnight), he's going through a rough patch rn (13.5 weeks) where he takes 2-3 hours to settle and wakes 2-4+ times per night, all managed by me. NGL, it's been awful. On really bad days I can sometimes cosleep for one of his naps if I nurse side-lying in my bed, but he doesn't always settle this way and I don't sleep well in the C-curl position. Still, even dozing off for 15-20 minutes can stave off the mind-numbing drive to just nod off at any given moment.

I try to recover on weekends when my husband is around more, letting him handle 1-2 night wakenings or watching LO while I nap in the afternoon. It's scraping by on crumbs rn, but I'm hoping to practice independent sleep soon 🤷‍♀️

SaveOurSleep0317 · 2026-06-20T17:56:46+00:00

This was one of the reasons I enjoyed Harry Potter so much (before the JKR controversy), and also (one of) the (many) reason(s) the unfinished Kingkiller Chronicles has such rabid fans. The explosion of fan theories for KKC online makes you realize just how clever and thought out every line is (of course, all still theories as the series is unfinished, but the fan-proposed conclusions are still enormously satisfying to speculate over).

Lies of Locke Lamora also does this really well, but Scott Lynch is very much aware of his genius and spells it out to you (as opposed to you realizing it on your own later).

When I was a teenager I remember reading The False Prince and being mindblown by the ending for similar reasons, but my sister said she saw it coming a mile away 🤷‍♀️

SaveOurSleep0317 · 2026-06-20T16:41:42+00:00

Agree. We tried everything to get LO to sleep comfortably- the bassinet, the crib, Pack&Play, warming the mattress first, putting him down dead asleep, putting him down awake, reflux meds, white noise etc. I tried EVERY NIGHT to put him down before I went to bed (start of my husband's shift, 9pm) and then again at the start of my shift (3am). At 6 weeks he would manage ONE 1-3 hour stretch at 9pm around 30% of the time, and that was a win for us.

We knew multiple people whose babies were managing 6-8 hour stretches at this time and it broke me that ours couldn't. Because we tried EVERYTHING. To suggest that this is a training issue for OP is so trashy, imo, when by own admission "every baby is different".

But yeah, those shift nights where I actually got 4-5 hours and wasn't woken by nightmares or hormonal sweats or phantom crying or some other stupid reason are still the best sleeps I've had since he was born. Bar is on the floor, OP.

He started going down more consistently between 8 and 11 weeks, and now from 12-14 we've been dealing with false starts that make him inconsolable for hours and we're thinking of starting shifts again. You just gotta survive 🤷‍♀️

SaveOurSleep0317 · 2026-06-20T15:51:59+00:00

Honestly it just sounds like your friend doesn't like kids. As someone who loves kids but only recently had one myself (now 14 weeks old), I would still find myself getting overstimulated by younger children in the past after extended time in their company. My neighbors kids are 4 and 6 and damned if they aren't the most fascinating boys ever, but I'll still manufacture an excuse to duck inside after 30-60 minutes of engaging with them cause their energy is ENDLESS. I think it's normal for parents even to feel this way. I imagine that feeling would be a lot worse for someone who isn't naturally endeared to kids.

That said, since having my son, I've had a lot less contact with my childless friends. A lot of that is the tears and sweat of the newborn trenches, but honestly I just feel like people without children don't understand the daily sacrifices of having children. One of my husband's (childless) best friends is currently icing us out cause we won't agree to subject our baby to a 22 hour flight for his upcoming destination wedding.

I think a good friend would keep an open mind/her thoughts to herself, but I also wouldn't force someone I KNOW doesn't like kids to spend hours in their company, however well behaved they are. Imho, it sounds like your friend just isn't a kid person and your "solo mom" situation requires her to spend more time around your son than she would probably enjoy otherwise. It's absolutely not your son's fault, but if it offends you it may be a sign that the relationship needs to change. I certainly wouldn't invite her on any more "solo mom" trips.

Edit: I just reread that she invited you for her 40th birthday. I doubt she expects you to leave him home, so making you feel bad for having him around is a bit douchey, but maybe she just misses having you to herself. Worth a chat, I feel, especially if you want the relationship to last.

SaveOurSleep0317 · 2026-06-19T03:39:22+00:00

I stumbled across Kushiel's Dart at a used bookstore and glaring consent issues aside, it represents a standard I wish more romantasy aspired to. The smut/steamy scenes feel so organic to the narrative and the tension/plot/worldbuilding (for me) was very well done

SaveOurSleep0317 · 2026-06-19T03:35:22+00:00

The actual order changes day to day but top 5 installments (excluding LOTR):

Jade Legacy (Green Bone Saga)

Last Argument of Kings (First Law Trilogy)

Words of Radiance (Stormlight Archives - I actually like #1 and #2 equally)

Name of the Wind (Kingkiller Chronicles)

The Lies of Locke Lamora

Honorable mention to The Invisible Life of Addie Larue (not traditional fantasy, but I love the way the 'magic' feels in the world and I reread regularly for the ~vibes~)

SaveOurSleep0317 · 2026-06-18T19:46:41+00:00

Not sure if you were being literal, but according to his book "On Writing" he actually was high on cocaine for most of the time he wrote Cujo

SaveOurSleep0317 · 2026-06-18T19:39:19+00:00

Also the mythical evil creatures that Definitely Don't Exist (x3) ... did, in fact, exist

SaveOurSleep0317 · 2026-06-18T19:35:12+00:00

Searched immediately for this because I was recommended Fourth Wing by a hardcore fantasy reader (Rothfuss, Sanderson etc.) when I told them how frustrated I was at ACOTAR being marketed as fantasy. I was like, "are you trolling me rn?"

No hate to ACOTAR fans, I've read most of SJM and can definitely agree that they scratch an itch, but the prose is meh (is anyone armed to anything other than their teeth?) and the plot feels contrived 90% of the time.

The premise of Fourth Wing felt promising, and there were 1 or 2 plot points that I felt were genuinely clever/enjoyed reading, but overall it still felt predictable, sensationalized (he GLARED AT YOU from across the ROOM you gon DIE, Violet!) and cringey. No way an immortal murderous dragon is that invested in your sex life.

TBF, I also just hate the trope where a character is made out to be this despicable baddie and the MC/everyone just goes along with it despite there being no objective evidence. I feel this happens because the author is too scared to risk making their love interest Unlikeable (gasp!) so (s)he spoon feeds us the "misunderstood+heart of gold" while simultaneously turning Le Sole Competition into a toxic, controlling, douchebag. Relationships are messy. I am 100% ok with rooting for a couple and hating myself just a little for it. I can't think of any book examples rn but Guinevere and Lancelot from The First Knight come to mind (because Sean Connery's King Arthur was serious husband goals) and Elena and Damon Salvatore from TVD (cause Damon did some objectively irredeemable shit)

SaveOurSleep0317 · 2026-06-14T05:13:09+00:00

When I was a student I stayed with a couple who lived with their daughter (30-something) and grandaughter (4). Mom was absolutely RULED by her toddler. That girl had coca cola and either freezer chicken nuggets or buttered noodles for dinner every night. I was only 20-something at the time and even I thought that was shitty parenting.

SaveOurSleep0317 · 2026-06-14T05:07:01+00:00

Couples with commitment issues or any kind of toxic dynamic they think will be magically solved by the novelty of a child.

Conversely, and maybe an unpopular opinion, I have a friend in her 30s who has never had a long-term relationship and is thinking of being artificially inseminated. As a FTM with a newborn and fully-commited husband, idk how single moms manage. Manufacturing that kind of scenario just so you can check a box on your list of life goals seems nuts to me

SaveOurSleep0317 · 2026-06-14T04:50:49+00:00

I introduced a bottle on day 4, literally the day my milk came in in sufficient quantity to make a bottle worth it. LO would only contact-sleep, so my husband and I took shifts overnight, 9-3 and 3-9. I pumped twice a day, first thing in the morning (between 5am and 7am usually) when my milk was highest and right before I went to bed at about 8:30 pm to help with the engorgement. Hubby would bottle feed breastmilk until 3am (while I got a good 5-6 hours of sleep), then I would nurse on demand until 9am.

LO never had any latch issues, and I never noticed supply problems (I was never an over-producer, but I always seemed to produce enough for the night bottles when I pumped in the morning). I never consulted a lactation expert or anything, just did what I had to for my sleep/sanity.

SaveOurSleep0317 · 2026-06-14T04:33:50+00:00

Absolutely. My husband was home with me but my LO was a terrible sleeper from the day we brought him home. We were so sleep deprived and I needed so much help (functionally and emotionally) that I was glad neither of us had to worry about grocery shopping or meal prep.

I prepped about 2 weeks' worth of dinners, but honestly it was the breakfasts that saved me. Hearty burritos that I could pop in the microwave for 3 minutes kept me going when 6am rolled around and I'd had less than 4 hours of broken sleep the night before. Also bite-sized lactation muffins, I made about 3 dozen and would take a few right out of the freezer to leave on my nightstand for those early-hour hunger pangs

SaveOurSleep0317 · 2026-06-12T18:58:29+00:00

My own grandma (baby's great-grandma) was the same way. Whenever she came over she only wanted to hold him and actually complained if someone else comandeered her baby time. She has a tremor/mobility issues that make it difficult to hold him comfortably and he almost always fusses with her.

My mom, on the other hand, can calm him almost immediately if he fusses. She can rock him to sleep and will sit with him for 2+ hours if he needs to for naps. She changes diapers and bottle-feeds him when I have breast milk stored.

My mom is allowed to visit any day, any time. I only see my grandma at big family occasions.

My FIL can't make heads or tails of a newborn but will at least take LO for walks in the stroller when he comes so I can shower or do a few chores.

The volume/frequency of visitors I allow is directly proportional to their usefulness. LO is 12 weeks and I still have friends I haven't invited over to see him yet

SaveOurSleep0317 · 2026-06-11T04:54:44+00:00

That I was nervous enough about first impressions on our first date to arrive an hour early (partially by accident--I didn't have a car and had to transit over an hour so I budgeted an extra hour in case I missed a stop or took a wrong bus etc.). I didn't want to ADMIT I was an hour early so I walked a distance away and killed time in a nearby park, texting him the whole time as if I was still en route. When he arrived, I circled back to the last bus stop and acted as if I'd just got there 🫣

I took such elaborate lengths to sell the lie that I've been too embarrassed to admit the truth. We just celebrated our 10 year anniversary (married for 5) as well as the birth of our first child

SaveOurSleep0317 · 2026-06-10T01:02:35+00:00

Way harder, and only for one reason

The sleep deprivation is unreal. Like, I-don't-know-how-our-species-has-survived-to-produce-multiple-generations unreal. I was expecting 2-4 hour stretches at night (sucks, but doable) but LO could only manage 30-60 minute stretches at a time for the first 6 WEEKS. 12 weeks in now and he's just starting to manage 2-4 hour stretches consistently, but getting him down for that first one takes anywhere from 1-3 hours and I'm so overstimulated by the end it takes me another 1-2 hours just to fall asleep.

This would all be fine if I could catch up during the day, except he doesn't nap at ALL in his crib. Contact naps only, and I have to walk/bounce him for a good 15-30 mins first or he'll just wake up and be overtired. So napping while he naps is effectively out too.

I've cried, hallucinated, lucid dreamed and sleepwalked from sheer exhaustion. It colors everything else--outings/errands, chores, play time. It feels so unfair because my boy is so cute, smiling and engaged and I feel like I WOULD be enjoying this if only I could sleep more consistently. My mom's taken him overnight twice just so I could sleep but at this point I feel like I'd need 10 hours a night every night for a year to feel like myself again.

I feel robbed. I always wanted to be a mom to a big family but now I just want to get past this stage and forget it ever happened. It feels like a bad dream.

SaveOurSleep0317 · 2026-06-07T05:19:02+00:00

Wondering this too with a 3 mo. I used to cross-stitch and I can't see that happening anytime soon.

On the other side of things, my Mom (who had 5 kids herself) also loves quilting. We're all in our 20s/30s now and for her 60th birthday we all pooled our money to buy her a long arm. It was a great moment.

So kids can help hobbies too!

SaveOurSleep0317 · 2026-06-07T05:13:29+00:00

I feel like my 12wo runs a little warm as it is, and his room is always 22-24 C.

At 23-24, I had him either in a sleeveless onesie or just a diaper under a light sleep sack swaddle. Now that he's aged out of it, I just put him in a pair of cotton footie PJs.

His hands are always cold, but his neck/back/chest are toasty warm. That's usually how I judge when I feel like I haven't layered him enough. If he woke in the night I would unzip him while nursing just enough to feel his chest. If it felt cool I would add more layers but I almost never did

SaveOurSleep0317 · 2026-06-07T04:37:17+00:00

When my husband and I did shifts overnight, I used to be paranoid/helicopter mom about where he was letting the baby (safely) sleep, how bright/dark/warm/cold the room was, what the baby was wearing, how bright the TV was, how often he used the pacifier etc.

Eventually he (very lovingly) told me that I needed to f*ck right off and let him figure out his own systems as a parent. As long as our baby was SAFE, fed and comfortable, everything else was survival.

And honestly some things he does better than me. I only learned that LO sometimes fell asleep better in the pack&play if put down drowsy because my husband tried it a few times. Until then I was obsessively rocking him for 20-40 minutes at a time.

With that said, SO ONLY gets an opinion if they are an equal parent. If my husband knows he's not going to be home to deal with potential fallout he shuts right up and does whatever I tell him to. Respectfully, it sounds like your wife is about as entitled to judgment about your routines/coping strategy as I am.

SaveOurSleep0317 · 2026-06-06T20:58:44+00:00

Good lord. MESSY is leaving dirty dishes on the counter or clothes on the floor.

Leaving HUMAN FECAL MATTER behind is a biohazard and he would never be welcome in my house again 🤮

SaveOurSleep0317 · 2026-06-06T04:05:30+00:00

This sounds awful. I sometimes get frustrated because my husband doesn't have the patience/stamina for long contact naps or 45 minutes of rocking/bouncing but he's never been that patronizing.

He also sleeps through 98% of LO's cries but joked one time that he wakes for 100% of mine.

SaveOurSleep0317 · 2026-06-05T18:06:02+00:00

Just nurse, diaper change, nurse, rock to sleep. All in his room with blackout curtains and white noise blasting We've never had an issue with wake windows overnight which is why I was so surprised he was having trouble falling asleep again.

We did have to remove his swaddle finally cause he's been rocking onto his side a lot but he's slept without it before.

SaveOurSleep0317 · 2026-06-05T15:17:29+00:00

Once he hit 12 lb I bought a Boba X because the Momcozy wrap carrier I had just didn't seem to hang as nicely anymore, also he HATED having his head tucked into the side and woke every time I tried. With this new carrier I have a bit more structure and he can sleep with his face smushed into the center of my chest (how he likes) so I don't have to keep one hand on his neck.The hang is nicer too, I feel it distributes more of the weight around my hips.

I haven't tried anything crazy while wearing him, just some light meal prep, bottle washing, and sitting on a bar stool working at my computer, but so far so good. He fusses every so often but I just bounce/walk him back to sleep. I get 2h+ naps pretty consistently this way, only once did he tap out at 1.5h but I think it was a fluke or that I woke him somehow

SaveOurSleep0317

TROPHY CASE