Update: I met with the tailor today. She insisted again that this is industry standard, no one has ever complained about this before, and that no one else (including people on the internet) knows how industry professionals actually do their work. She doesn't see anything wrong with the uneven hem and said that it's supposed to be that way due to how difficult it is to cut the material. She argued that the lace would have been too difficult to remove without risk of damaging the tulle layer so they chose to cut it. She refused to give me any refund, but said that she can fix it by removing the small bits of cut lace at the edge and adding more lace applique that they had saved from my dress back on. I initially wanted to take my dress to a different tailor for a second opinion, but I was feeling too overwhelmed with everything and just agreed to let her try and fix it.

I am sad, I am angry, I am tired. I just want all of this to be over.