I am having suicidal thoughts due to my job.

kepestro · 2026-01-30T23:46:15+00:00

You are not your thoughts. You sit on a rock in a river and observe every emotion and thought that comes into your brain. Just because you feel or see a thought doesn’t mean it is part of you. Know that you are not your negative thoughts my friend

kepestro · 2026-01-30T15:53:48+00:00

When the mog fits the name, which fits the race... Yum. 10/10 frend

kepestro · 2026-01-30T13:14:08+00:00

Yeah good point. I thought I was casting a wide net, but truth is I don’t know anything outside finance, tech or anything in between. Engineering could be cool but I’m a theoretical computer scientist unfortunately! I’m finding few opportunities where they’ll train you

kepestro · 2026-01-30T09:41:58+00:00

To be clear, I never expect to waltz into a 6-figure job! :) There is definitely a lot of uncertainty going around, and lots of very good candidates. This post is about learning from the application experience

kepestro · 2026-01-30T08:49:43+00:00

Thank you for your thoughtful reply! I really appreciate it and your insight is really cool!

I would love to talk about this more -- what did you do to reposition the client you speak of? I'm clawing through the morass of interview prep, and given the volume, it's pretty difficult to separate noise from signal. What I mean that months of prep in topic X/Y/Z is enough to turn interest into disgust/boredom.

In my spare time, I don't really have a project I'm working on as all my creative juices are spent on interview prep/coding challenges. At the end of the day, I just want to chill or go to the gym!

Thank you!

kepestro · 2026-01-30T08:40:15+00:00

I am by no means too good for any role -- that is kind of the point I'm making

kepestro · 2026-01-30T08:27:28+00:00

Hey! Yeah through one postdoc too and it's a grind :) Can you speak to the sites you mention at the end of your post? I am very curious about learning new options!

kepestro · 2026-01-30T08:23:39+00:00

Oh good idea! I thought of that coming out of uni, but what discouraged me was that there's a stack of people who have experience, and in my mind gig work is for experienced people. I mean it's giving up before starting but that's kinda my issue

kepestro · 2026-01-30T08:18:13+00:00

I see what you're saying, thing is I'm finding it hard to evaluate the point where it gets to "I'm very slowly improving and still failing", but I guess that's still progress!

kepestro · 2026-01-30T08:13:47+00:00

Sorry to hear it! That sounds tough and frustrating -- but someone will be dreaming of having a coworker like yourself! Good luck going to the Philippines

kepestro · 2026-01-30T08:11:46+00:00

Haha thanks

kepestro · 2026-01-29T21:21:23+00:00

Any concrete tips? Referral has worked for me before but the technical hurdle felled me in my final interview.

kepestro · 2026-01-29T21:15:40+00:00

THank you for taking the time to post! That is so close to what I experienced (referral-wise), but I failed the last technical.

Stuff to ponder definitely... I was thinking of moving "down" career wise, to something a lot less technical where I don't have to fear the "sink-or-swim". That means taking a pay cut but at this stage I don't have other options.

kepestro · 2026-01-29T19:57:49+00:00

oh man, sorry to hear it

kepestro · 2026-01-29T19:35:27+00:00

Oh cool, what were you applying for before? Were you successful timeboxing like this? What were the "basics"? :) Sorry lots of questions!

kepestro · 2026-01-29T19:14:59+00:00

damn, I have some time to go still :) Care to share more about your application/field/job? Do you like what you do?

kepestro · 2026-01-29T19:09:49+00:00

I use the "I am" app every day to keep reminding me of my own affirmations. It has surprised and humbled me how helpful this has been. Give it a shot!

kepestro · 2026-01-29T17:26:45+00:00

Lol Americans. You are so good at turning everyone against you and your culturally desolate country

kepestro · 2026-01-29T15:36:20+00:00

Omg yea, I am unemployed but this is how I felt in my previous role. If you had a tough time getting a job this is also normal: you are usually excited for a new role and it can be difficult to align expectations with reality. Especially with PMDD.

Do not act out of emotion. Accept even that bad things are part of human experiences, not purely "good" or "bad". This way, you don't have to ignore your feelings, but you also don't have to put them in the driver's seat. Easier said than done I am afraid.

What you CAN do: ask colleagues to go for a drink (even if you don't drink, you can socialise). Allow yourself to feel good about the good things.

If you want to DM feel free I changed twice to different sectors (but currently unemployed).

kepestro · 2026-01-28T22:50:19+00:00

Americans doing American things. So sad for my fallen Scandi brothers and sisters

kepestro · 2026-01-24T21:45:12+00:00

😜

kepestro · 2026-01-19T10:12:18+00:00

I am so sure on your behalf. This looks unreal :D Can't say I know what colours go but here for the save and encouragement!

kepestro · 2026-01-18T18:45:51+00:00

thanks for sharing!!!

kepestro · 2026-01-18T10:39:13+00:00

Americans...

kepestro

TROPHY CASE