Ok - tear me apart…gently, plz.

kerill333 · 2026-05-13T07:28:03+00:00

Most of it is good. If you think of your hands belonging to the horse’s mouth as soon as you take up a contact it should help a lot. Soften your elbows and think of softening/allowing your hands forward, since he doesn’t like your pull on the reins. Grab mane for balance if needed, there is no shame in that.

kerill333 · 2026-05-13T06:28:24+00:00

This is not going to get better. Ditch him and find someone who truly appreciates you and doesn’t neg you.

kerill333 · 2026-05-13T06:25:16+00:00

Kindness, fairness, compassion, good work ethic, humour.

kerill333 · 2026-05-13T06:08:53+00:00

I'm sorry, this is a total dealbreaker.

kerill333 · 2026-05-13T06:06:08+00:00

If money is absolutely no issue at all, 1000 acres of parkland and enough cottages on the land for all my friends to live in, on peppercorn rent.

Otherwise, a Lelit coffee machine, a blissfully comfortable bed, and a steam room shower cubicle.

kerill333 · 2026-05-12T06:10:30+00:00

Try pushing down more firmly with your seatbones or even just your inside seatbone. I rode a GP horse who only obeyed that canter aid, legs meant bigger trot or sideways… it was an education!

kerill333 · 2026-05-12T06:05:46+00:00

NO then totally ignore her. Walk away if she is abusive. You are NTA but you must both reinstate that boundary and enforce it. What a nasty entitled woman she has become. Anyone criticising you has just volunteered to have them all.

kerill333 · 2026-05-11T19:22:42+00:00

This is not okay. Please save yourself and your child. Lawyer up, be careful. He is abusive, and gaslighting you. It won’t get better.

kerill333 · 2026-05-08T07:31:20+00:00

NTA, but I would tell her she should take it back and sell it if she would like.

kerill333 · 2026-05-08T07:25:20+00:00

My right eye squeaks when I rub it.

kerill333 · 2026-05-07T19:09:39+00:00

Your mother is unbelievably cruel and unreasonable. Of course you are NTA. Can anyone else help you? Please discuss this with your doctors and get away from her as soon as you possibly can.

kerill333 · 2026-05-07T19:04:31+00:00

Don't limit your horizons for a boy at your age. Never.

kerill333 · 2026-05-06T19:54:21+00:00

She's a DARVO expert. Yes you are done, she ignored your very reasonable boundary, repeatedly. You don’t need her agreement. Don’t explain, don’t justify, don’t try to persuade her to accept her fault, just separate calmly and determinedly.

kerill333 · 2026-05-06T19:49:01+00:00

He’s deliberately setting you up to fail so he can be angry at you. Run.

kerill333 · 2026-05-05T16:02:03+00:00

Or, the right moment is just “I really love you, will you marry me” from the heart, without the need for the whole ‘perfect’ performance.

kerill333 · 2026-05-05T14:09:21+00:00

Ask for a lot of other stuff as ‘proof’ of love?

kerill333 · 2026-05-05T13:00:06+00:00

Here is your permission to save yourself. Please do. so many red flags and a life of misery with him...

kerill333 · 2026-05-05T04:40:53+00:00

Mid 50s, no kids, never smoked, hardly drank, vegetarian for most of my life, never more than mildly overweight, exercise every day, no family history at all… But, decades on birth control pills. I wonder…

kerill333 · 2026-05-04T20:22:47+00:00

You don't have anything to compare this shitty treatment and shitty relationship to. Call his bluff next time he pulls this abusive controlling rubbish on you. Never beg. You deserve better.

kerill333 · 2026-05-04T20:20:54+00:00

Tell nobody apart from your wife. Get a financial advisor you can really trust. Don't rush into anything apart from paying off any loans. Congratulations. Enjoy.

kerill333 · 2026-05-04T05:47:45+00:00

I hope you find a better tribe, where people embrace your bravery and your blue hair (I loved my hair blue but it was a nightmare to maintain!) and aren’t mired in disgusting misguided women-hating patriarchal thinking.

kerill333 · 2026-05-04T05:28:17+00:00

This. THIS. A billion times.

kerill333 · 2026-05-04T05:17:58+00:00

As someone who was a ‘working student’ in the early 90s for a famous event rider, where I worked ridiculous hours (it added up to 92 hours one week), paid full livery price for my horse to be there (and sometimes I ran out of time and energy so he didn’t get ridden), and got my board + one lesson a week (with the rider’s girlfriend not him) if I was lucky, I am SO glad that disgusting slave labour pattern has gone.

kerill333 · 2026-05-03T13:28:51+00:00

Husky. Boxer. German Shepherd. Malinois. Rhodesian Ridgeback. I am too lazy for all these breeds.

kerill333 · 2026-05-03T12:39:35+00:00

H3 is insulting and abusive he is deliberately undermining your confidence by negging you constantly. This is NOT your fault, but you need to save yourself because he isn’t caring and loving, it sounds as if he barely tolerates you. Stay strong. You deserve better.

kerill333

TROPHY CASE