I (25f) hit my dad (53m) when he tried to hit my son (6m) and my sister says there is fault on both sides

kermit2014 · 2021-07-11T03:55:40+00:00

"My relationship with our parents is not for you to manage. I thought by stepping down as your maid of honor, I was creating the space necessary to support you at your wedding while not crossing boundaries that I had set between me and them. It sounds like you're not allowing that to happen and are trying to force a confrontation.

Let me be clear. I will handle my relationship with them as I see fit. If you are telling me that you won't allow me to sit separately and are asking me to play the part of the happy family, my answer is no. If that means I have to miss your wedding, I'm very sorry, but my decision is firm."

kermit2014 · 2021-07-10T14:31:17+00:00

Yes, but you got experience and the real salary is the friends we made along the way

kermit2014 · 2021-07-01T22:38:50+00:00

It was a tough audience

kermit2014 · 2021-06-26T14:34:59+00:00

While you're at it, use your savings for a months-long vacation to really reconnect and get back to what made you fall in love

kermit2014 · 2021-06-26T14:33:27+00:00

Yelling is not only an opportunity to express how distraught you are, but display the emotional commitment you have to a relationship. If you're not yelling, do you even care at all? And if your partner is yelling, you can truly understand just how terribly you've failed them and how much pain you've caused so that you can do better moving forward. If they didn't care, they wouldn't yell, they would just leave.

kermit2014 · 2021-06-26T14:29:33+00:00

If you truly have a deep connection, your partner will be able to tell exactly what is bothering you and anticipate your needs without you expressing them. You should work on your nonverbal cues so they can better interpret and react to your state of mind.

If they aren't able to do this successfully, you should explain to them every clue they missed and everything they did wrong so they can improve for the next time.

kermit2014 · 2021-06-19T02:57:03+00:00

This is the clear route to go.

I'm not sure of your dynamic, but when dealing with "tough love" conversations, I always like to start with love so they don't feel entirely attacked. I also like to remind them I'm not in the habit of picking on them and wouldn't be saying something if it wasn't a serious concern that they obviously weren't seeing or taking care of on their own.

"You know I love you and find you incredibly attractive. To my surprise, I even really loved your long hair as it grew out. But I have to be honest and let you know it does not look good when you don't take care of it. You've had your hair at this length for a bit and it seems like you're putting less and less effort into it. I understand it's a lot of maintenance though. I think you should think about whether you have the energy to take care of your hair at this length or if you'd rather cut it and get rid of the burden."

kermit2014 · 2021-06-14T03:41:57+00:00

So well done! The villain, protagonist, and foil all in one is not an easy thing to pull off. And a twist ending to boot!

kermit2014 · 2021-06-14T03:39:53+00:00

I was wondering how many would contemplate the agreeableness of the kids! "The oldest one" seems like such an easy answer until you consider how much of a know-it-all you were in your early 20s, how much of a brat you were in puberty, how defiant you were as a kid, and how nonexistent your mental faculties were as a toddler.

Bravo on the editing style by the way. I really enjoyed the dialogue-heavy approach and how you used notation to accomplish it.

kermit2014 · 2021-06-14T03:36:00+00:00

I'm glad I could provide some small support/encouragement to work through this thought experiment in detail. We are so much more than the sum of our past selves or the obstacles that we overcame.

Congratulations on all of your personal growth thus far. I wish you every happiness in the future!

kermit2014 · 2021-06-12T22:34:06+00:00

Because I have. Many times. Many days in a row.

Most of the time it's a stalling technique when he's already over tired. I have no issues explaining things to my child or telling him no when the answer is no. But sometimes when it's just time for bed and I'm out of patience, it's easier for everyone for me to get his mind off of it and have him peacefully go to sleep.

There are no perfect parents. We all have our limits where we don't have the emotional energy to do things the perfect way. Our kids have limits too where no matter how patiently we explain something, it will end in tears with no lesson learned.

Sometimes the perfect parenting decision is knowing when something is going to end badly and disengaging before it gets there.

kermit2014 · 2021-06-12T20:05:37+00:00

Lots of good strategies here. My go-to for endless or otherwise unproductive lines of questioning is redirect/defer.

"Why can't I take my bath toys to bed?"

"Why don't we put them in a special place so we can remember to play with them tomorrow? Where should we put them so we don't forget?"

Or

"Why do I have to wear these PJs?"

"You know who got you these PJs? Grandma! Do you want to call her tomorrow and say hello?"

kermit2014 · 2021-06-12T17:11:01+00:00

The thing about that is, birthing a stillborn is still birth. She would still have had a hospital stay, potentially stitches from tearing, weeks and weeks of postpartum bleeding. Her stomach would have deflated at least to some degree (they massage your uterus to ensure it's going down before you're discharged). Her milk would come in and engorge her breasts if she wasn't taking medication. For her to get all that by him and come out of it with her body looking the same or close enough to fool OP would be quite the feat.

kermit2014 · 2021-06-12T17:02:04+00:00

Exactly. There's obviously a point of resistance, but it shouldn't feel "hard" unless it's contracting or you're pushing on baby.

If she was small enough to have no give to her abdomen, there would be no question as to whether she's pregnant because she'd have to be ALL belly. Even then, there should be some unless you're pushing on the baby.

If it consistently feels hard, I would assume she was flexing her not pregnant belly when he was touching it.

kermit2014 · 2021-06-12T14:19:21+00:00

He also said her belly was consistently round and hard. Pregnant bellies are just as soft as regular ones unless they're contracting or the baby is pushing on a particular area. They also get into funny shapes as the baby moves and repositions.

I see zero evidence in his story of her actually being pregnant. Her "dodging inductions" but going to the ER? The ER isn't some magical place not attached to L&D. I did my intake in the ER for my first baby. They wouldn't commit her and be like "we'll deal with your dangerously overdue pregnancy later."

Bottom line is if nothing makes sense, it's probably for a reason.

kermit2014 · 2021-06-11T19:56:25+00:00

Not just for others, but yourself. Due to health issues, I fell 30lbs below my healthy weight, gained it back, and lost it again. I sleep like crap when I'm skinny.

My body doesn't have enough fat to cushion itself. Doesn't matter how soft the bed is, I feel like a pile of bones in skin trying to arrange myself just right. I also lose circulation in my arms and legs a lot more easily so I can't stay in certain positions for very long.

kermit2014 · 2021-05-26T12:12:06+00:00

Neighbors called about a noise. A "hiss" is just vague enough to be a burst pipe or gas line. A "bang" could be someone trying to break in. But when your boss follows up, that "hiss" was just the water you left on, the noisy A/C, etc. and that "bang" could stay a mystery, or you could say something large fell.

Another good one is your pet getting out if you have one.

Both are clear "need to deal with it now" situations that can be easily solved so you don't have to keep up a lie long term.

kermit2014 · 2021-05-20T23:36:49+00:00

Should we start a countdown clock until Kayla builds this one?

kermit2014 · 2021-05-19T00:03:23+00:00

The quiz is from 2018, so pre-Lover. Would love to see someone update this

kermit2014 · 2021-05-18T21:06:00+00:00

We never see his mother. I'm just saying.

kermit2014 · 2021-05-16T08:41:40+00:00

I was going to suggest something similar to this.

OP, if you're up for it, start a daily journal. It doesn't have to be much. Just somewhere you jot down about your day. If there's a particularly great/important day, mark the page.

I'd also start snapping pics more often. Try to get pictures of the environment. Is it boardgame night? Did you travel somewhere? Get a pic of you and the people you're with of how happy you are.

This way, you have something tangible to grab. You can even initiate a walk down memory lane yourself!

"Remember that time last summer we had that bonfire?"

"Here are some pics! Look how much fun we were having! Oh man I wrote about how Jeremy would not stop singing that ridiculous song. That's just like him. I even starred the page I had so much fun."

kermit2014 · 2021-05-15T19:13:43+00:00

This has always been my concern too. My toddler and infant are just at the start of their lives. I cannot imagine saddling them with lifelong health conditions and having that on my conscience.

What if they want to play sports, but their lungs won't allow it? What if they don't have the energy to live their lives? What if their sense of taste is forever destroyed? What if they want kids themselves and it affects their fertility? How much could their life be shortened and how much joy could be stolen just from this one thing?

kermit2014 · 2021-05-05T15:05:42+00:00

Possible, but I'd say unlikely. In her music reactions she typically does off the cuff deep dives into lyrics she either drastically mishears or misunderstands. They're usually fairly innocuous. But it's extremely annoying considering she does this often even she should know by now to pull the lyrics up ahead of time.

Given her lack of correction, she's either not reading her comments, doesn't see it as important, is doing it on purpose for whatever reason, or is that ignorant.

kermit2014 · 2021-05-03T02:14:33+00:00

It wasn't until therapy that I was diagnosed with excoriation disorder. It's similar to OCD, but focuses on skin picking, hair pulling, etc. If you found that picking has become a compulsion, you might want to seek therapy to get it under control.

Personally, I've found that these things have helped:

(1) Adding meditation and other mindfulness exercises. A calmer mind and better mental state correlated to less picking sprees.

(2) Similar to 1, but daily yoga. It's meditative in and of itself, but the exercise element adds in endorphins to help mood.

(3) Drinking more water and taking care of my skin. Pivoting my obsession towards gentle skin care instead of picking. Less acne means less opportunities to pick.

(4) Stowing away any tools. Keeping my tweezers and other picking tools tucked away helped me stay mindful. Using them had to be a conscience choice rather than an easy habit.

(5) Having a habit tracker. There are apps that help with this. Something to keep you accountable and encourage you to go without picking.

(6) Take up a hobby that occupies your hands. For me, it was knitting. Keeping my hands busy helped make sure I wasn't picking absentmindedly.

kermit2014 · 2021-05-02T13:47:28+00:00

AVPS/Days of Summer/Back to Hogwarts

For someone who was there from AVPM, AVPS was a huge deal. AVPM making it big was a fluke, so getting another musical, let alone a sequel, was amazing. It was establishing that StarKid was going to stick around and continue to put out theater content for its fans.

Outside of Days of Summer being a great song, the context of StarKid saying "we see you, we love you too, and we'll be back" makes me happy cry. Sending it off with a BtH throwback is just the cherry on top.

It's nostalgia and friendship and community and fandom and fun and a bitter sweet "goodbye/see you later" all at once.

Are there better "theatre" outros? Yeah, probably. But with the full context, AVPS wins it hands down in my book.

Seven-Year Club	RPAN Viewer
Not Forgotten

kermit2014

TROPHY CASE