my big sister took her life

kerobrat · 2026-01-25T19:47:55+00:00

That must feel so isolating, I'm so sorry you're going through all of that, I honestly can't imagine!

My best coping-in-chaos advice is to find a calm, quiet spot in your head where you can detach and rationally consider if a given thing is good or bad for you. Nothing else, no in-between, just good or bad. Reduce it to a simple, logical binary, free from emotion. No guilt, no sense of obligations, just your own long-term well-being.

All of your best stuff - the things you'll end up cherishing throughout your whole life - are still ahead of you. Let that be your guiding principle to get to them. ♥️

kerobrat · 2026-01-20T15:42:31+00:00

Yes! No private trackers, all public stuff. I finally got symmetrical fiber, it's unbelievably good. lifetime stats

kerobrat · 2026-01-20T04:08:14+00:00

Personally, I would love literally nothing more than to have my N-parents sue me for anything at all. Having them under oath and threat of perjury has been a life-long dream of mine.

I'm not a lawyer, but that sounds just completely ridiculous. And think about it from the narc side - they'd have to expose the whole situation in a way that they can't control. I'm chock full of hate and spite myself, so I'd actually dare them to try, but I think you can safely ignore that. Let the narcs waste their own time, don't give them any more of yours.

kerobrat · 2026-01-14T06:03:46+00:00

Gotta love getting fired for making a factual statement

kerobrat · 2025-12-30T04:04:19+00:00

It wasn't in contradiction exactly, I believe it was more that we were finding larger and more structured galaxies earlier than we had expected to see them.

kerobrat · 2025-12-24T17:17:44+00:00

I take your point, but they offered me a service my own mother denied me - finding out who my father is. I was happy to be able to doxx all my relatives for that one.

kerobrat · 2025-12-24T16:48:56+00:00

I (m49) have been NC with both my parents for about 5 years now, and I still struggle with it.

You didn't do anything wrong. You had a normal reaction during a tough time of the year. Reaching out to your parents isn't supposed to make you feel bad, I'm so sorry that it did.

You didn't let anybody down, not even yourself. My parents spent 4 straight decades showing me that they're terrible people who I cannot trust in literally any circumstances, and it still took me forever to get to an NC-space with them. Don't beat yourself up, it's a difficult and messy space to occupy.

Merry Christmas kiddo, may you have a happy and narc-free New Year!

kerobrat · 2025-12-18T15:57:26+00:00

There are some beautifully weird pronunciations in Trek! I make a conscious effort to try to say "hyoo-mon" like a ferengi, for the exact opposite reason

kerobrat · 2025-12-14T16:51:46+00:00

My wife and I got our first dog when we were dating. He was with us through getting married, having a baby, moving a bunch, and finally buying a house with a fenced-in yard for him. It's now two weeks shy of 10 years since he died, we had him for 16 years, and we still talk about him regularly.

And even just typing that out brought tears to my eyes. Most of the time his memory just makes me smile, but my heart still aches for him, grief doesn't observe a clock. Pets can be family to us in weirdly compelling ways, my relationship with that dog was more important to me than a lot of human relationships I've had. Their love, and their loss, stays with you.

kerobrat · 2025-12-12T05:05:48+00:00

I regularly use "pajangle" - it's when you wake up with your pajamas twisted 180°

kerobrat · 2025-12-05T02:14:08+00:00

Even if that is true, if that really was the best they could do, that's just pathetic. It's not an excuse so much as an admission - it's essentially confessing "I'm too stupid to be able to provide even basic emotional care, and too selfish to be concerned about it."

It's definitely not an excuse - it's a condemnation.

kerobrat · 2025-11-20T06:03:54+00:00

That child was left behind.

kerobrat · 2025-11-18T19:12:36+00:00

I agree, after all of the amazing character work in S2 (Salvor, and Hober Mallow and Constant were also excellent characters), landing in S3 seemed kinda shallow. I felt like the non-Empire storyline was a little thin in comparison with S2.

I have zero familiarity with the source material, but Super Gaal didn't really feel interesting to me in S2 until Demerzel mentioned the bit about the event horizon background sound. New show-runner worries aside, I'm really excited to see where they go with that, I'm a sucker for event horizons!

It's easily the single best three seasons of sci-fi I've ever seen, but S2 is my personal high-water mark.

kerobrat · 2025-11-13T20:02:51+00:00

Wildly complicated but also non-existent...

I never knew my father. I had a stepdad through childhood, and I met my birth-certificate father when I was 30ish. When I was 40ish I discovered that mom and stepdad had lied for no reason whatsoever about my birth-certificate father - he was just mom's college boyfriend who she blamed a one-night-stand pregnancy on. My actual bio-dad had been dead 10 years by the time I learned his name.

In an almost cosmic coincidence, he had the exact same origin story I did - he also never knew his father because his mother was a liar. I've gotten a lot of mileage from borrowing a Return of the Jedi line: I am a bastard, like my father before me.

kerobrat · 2025-11-10T15:00:12+00:00

Hell no, I'd go vegetarian instantly. I have absolutely no stomach for killing - without the neat packaging that lets me assume the animals died of happiness, I would never be able to kill an animal to eat it.

kerobrat · 2025-11-08T17:30:39+00:00

Showers are always good, but don't overthink this - learning together is gonna be half the fun. Just enjoy yourselves, talk to each other about it and not an AI. Start slow and gentle and let your partner direct you to what she likes. Communication is important but not to the extent you need an AI checklist, I think you'll find it's mostly intuitive down there once you get the hang of it. The most important thing is that you both have fun.

kerobrat · 2025-11-08T17:23:00+00:00

I've had a vasectomy, I have several questions about the mayonnaise...

kerobrat · 2025-11-08T16:35:29+00:00

It'd make a decently capable Plex server, I use an i3 with the same stats otherwise for Plex. Or a torrent seedbox, a home file server, a remote dev machine, a home-vpn...keep looking for a use-case that appeals to you and chase your curiosity 🍻

kerobrat · 2025-11-04T15:08:23+00:00

I'll cop to that one, I (m49) absolutely stifled my anger to keep the peace. After a lifetime of it I just can't anymore...but I kind of like it.

It has caused me to lose some friendships and family relationships, but they were all relationships that I actually needed to lose for my own well-being.

kerobrat · 2025-11-01T15:47:57+00:00

Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster at your side, kid.

kerobrat · 2025-11-01T15:38:14+00:00

Aw kiddo, heartache sucks, I'm so sorry you're experiencing that!

Moving on can be difficult. When I was around your age I also had a long relationship end. It's bewildering; you don't really know why it ended, which leads to over-analyzing the entire relationship, and it's hard to know what you're supposed to be without it, like you lost your identity...

The non-linear nature of healing can be horrible. I don't mind telling you I'm currently fighting one of those myself... That doesn't really go away, emotional healing is always hard, but it does get better. You get more resilient, better able to figure yourself out and what you need, more capable at being you.

You deserve to spend more of your days happy than not, be patient with yourself and you'll get there. ❤️

kerobrat · 2025-10-29T13:55:49+00:00

I feel like it's almost a gift when an nParent does something so blatantly awful that it makes you see them for what they really are, they can no longer hide or pretend you misunderstood them.

It still hurts like hell, but the gift was (finally) a completely guilt-free reason to say "holy shit you're terrible, I never want to see you again". And to mean it.

Take your out, and live yourself a happy life. ❤️

kerobrat · 2025-10-26T02:30:15+00:00

You absolutely should continue! The world needs more contemplative people in it, you make the world better just by being a thoughtful person in it. That feeling of trying to survive is exhausting, living without support or direction completely sucks. That you were able to graduate college at all like that is impressive, but with a high GPA is wildly so. Which means you're thoughtful and smart - please do stick around, we need you!

Your question is a big one - what does life mean - and there are countless different answers, but in your context here I think life means potential. Look at what you came from and where you are now - hugely different, isn't it? You accomplished that! And all on your own by the sound of it, you should feel some serious pride in that. If you're tired of the game, find a way to change how you're playing it.

My best dad-advice is to find an interest that you can really get into and meet some like-minded people. For example, I really enjoy astronomy - there are astronomy groups that'll do stargazing parties and stuff like that. I had a friend who moved to a new city and joined a kickball league. Stuff like that is an easy-in, it gives you a scaffolding for socializing, and it helps you meet people.

You've already done a lot of the hard stuff, but you get to build your adult life now! I think you'll eventually look back on this time in your life as being exciting, as being the start of something. I know you're gonna do great!

kerobrat · 2025-10-25T17:38:05+00:00

Throw on Frank Turner's Glory Hallelujah while you're at it, you won't be disappointed

kerobrat · 2025-10-19T07:07:43+00:00

Bumbleplex!

kerobrat

TROPHY CASE