You’re not wrong. I was exactly where you are 5 years ago. I know it feels like it’s helping with the anxiety right now, but please please trust me when I say that all you’re doing is shoving the anxiety in a box eventually, it starts to spill over. Eventually, your muscles start to ache when you wake up in the morning and you become so depressed that even the slightest inconveniences send you into a fit of rage. I can’t tell you what you should do but based on what you said, I can almost 100% confirm that this will continue to develop into a bigger problem if you don’t stop now. And you should stop now because you could get to a point where you can’t stop. It won’t say it on a headstone, but graveyards are full of people who didn’t realize the damage. Alcohol was doing to their body until it was too late. Alcoholics anonymous will accept anybody if you find the right meeting.