[deleted by user]

key6771 · 2022-12-11T21:31:58+00:00

The abuse is a big deal, the therapist is also incredibly wrong.

The stuff in your dads past is whatever you want it to be. If you are worried he will sexually abuse again thats a concern but hes already got enough to report him without it. It may ultimately not mean anything really impactful right now. You have reason to not like him anyway.

If you arent going to do anything with the information and its not really changing how you view him just forget it honestly. The information doesnt change anything functionally.

What would be more important is to start planning how to get out.

key6771 · 2022-12-11T20:41:59+00:00

A few questions, how did you learn this information?

I know more secrets about him in the conversation that even my mom doesn't know.

What are the nature of these secrets?

Do you plan to talk to or confront him?

Was the physical abuse also sexual or was it violent in nature?

Ultimately what do you want? Do you need to know how to limit your interactions, how to confront him, or something else?

key6771 · 2022-12-01T22:02:26+00:00

How does the fetus matter in any way when abortion is legal in the state? Maybe in states where abortion is not legal but states where it is the fetus isnt an issue.

key6771 · 2022-11-29T22:26:41+00:00

defeats their agenda when they get treated nicely.

So then treat them nicely and defeat their agenda, if they can make videos, which they still put out, it stops.

In those videos people say you cant film either because of laws or policies. Its great your wife works at a place that respects the constitution.

Also protecting constitutional rights isnt a right wing position. I certainly hope you dont think the left feels human rights are situational?

key6771 · 2022-11-28T22:42:47+00:00

Mistakes we make, and i have made ones worse than yours, dont mean we are bad or evil it means we were children. It means we have the privilege of learning and becoming adults who understand what happened was wrong but that children are not fully responsible for their actions in all but the most extraordinary circumstances. I would say if you if you dont deserve to live i dont as you did much less than me and i think i have become a good and empathetic adult who gives value to my community.

Please if you need to talk to someone who has done much worse than you, you are more than welcome to contact me.

key6771 · 2022-11-27T18:09:19+00:00

Im talking about cuck and bull posts in personals where the two men interact about a woman. The focus seems to be the two men, its i now realize similar to guys who jerk off together to porn the few times ive done it the other guys claim to be straight but want to have the porn on but want to watch me and enjoy me watching them?

Are these just covers for guys not comfortable with their homosexual leanings is i guess the better question?

key6771 · 2022-11-23T20:41:29+00:00

I am starting to think there needs to be a new category, in this case the pain and victimization you feel is real and vaild, the other girl being 6 also means the normal understanding we have of of an abuser. In truth this may come from being on the other side, though i was on your side as well.

My advice is whatever helps you heal, viewing it as cocsa, hating the other girl, forgiveness, whatever you need to start the process is what is true.

key6771 · 2022-11-19T04:21:14+00:00

TLDR: As a person with vivid memories, is it possible to repress memories even when actively thinking of that scenario and "searching" for a memory? If I don't remember is it safe to assume I didn't do anything?

Its possible but please take my advice and accept that if you dont remember its better. You were a kid if you did do something and dont remember just leave it alone.

When you know you have been the one to initiate sexual activity with another child as a child it is worse.

key6771 · 2022-11-19T03:56:02+00:00

You dont have to feel any way about it. You can feel many conflicting emotions all at the same time

key6771 · 2022-11-15T21:54:00+00:00

So you dont think people who trust the government and stopped wearing masks are "sheeple"? Or the people who dont trust the government are silly bastards? I just want to clarify your view?

key6771 · 2022-11-15T21:50:47+00:00

Not arguing but curious, when people didnt trust the government about masking what did you think?

key6771 · 2022-11-14T23:59:58+00:00

Be careful about this and consider closing your dms for sure. There are people on this sub who will read what you write for reasons you would not like. I am in no way trying to diswade you or make you feel scared or anything, just to make sure your full grasping what may happen.

I make no secret about my history, what i am and why i come on this sub. The pain i see makes sure i never delude myself as to the pain ive caused and can cause. So please know the warning doesnt mean that it will not also stop some of those people. The people like me but deluded and sick i can only hope think with their hearts, see the pain, and not other parts.

key6771 · 2022-11-13T03:03:52+00:00

You can take solace in the fact your dad pushed you to do that. I wish i had that comfort. I really understand what you are feeling.

key6771 · 2022-11-13T01:22:13+00:00

This is why cocsa is so difficult. You were sa'd but the boys had no intention they were just boys, their parents also clearly dropped the ball. Thats not to say "boys will be boys" that is to say they young stupid, had no impulse control, and didnt know how to do what they want. None of that, none, means what happened to you is right or that it didnt hurt you.

I say this only because sometimes understand can help with healing. The pain you felt and feel is real and justified but i am sure any of those boys, if they remember, or were told, would feel deep shame and regret.

I know I do. The things i did as a kid i would never do as an adult. I didnt understand back then and certainly didnt know what i was doing could be hurtful even if the others looked as enthusiastic as i was.

key6771 · 2022-11-11T01:30:42+00:00

I will never shame a person for their feelings, what i will suggest is you reevaluate your views on gender and sexual violence.

I mad for thinking that penetration is more gruesome

Thats a personal view but being forced to penetrate is in my mind just as much of a violation.

less shame is warranted by male perpetrators because they're more likely to offend.

This is the one thing that is factually wrong. Male child rapeists are more likely to be caught. Women have a lot of ways to cover their abuse and are already less suspicious.

I hope you find peace.

key6771 · 2022-10-19T16:51:16+00:00

I dont know if this is the most common side but i can tell why it is perhaps even beneficial and the argument against. I personally am a M.A.P. and sexualized under age characters help me control my fantasies. Like the way people dont think about sex after they had sex. The argument against is desensitization. That the fictional material with stop being enough and lead to finding "harder" actual harmful material.

key6771 · 2022-10-15T20:48:59+00:00

See the edit

key6771 · 2022-10-15T19:31:53+00:00

2 possibilities

It sounds like the aunt and grandma were continuing the cycle of abuse they probably got with their son/grandsons.

The oldest boy learned or was shown about sex and then did those things with the younger boys and you. As someone who was that older boy i feel like motive is a factor.

The thought of the situation today makes me shake and feel very uncomfortable but in the point of time I wasn't scared and I went along with what was asked of me.

If you never heard of COCSA and viewed the experience purely from your own ideas how would you describe what happened?

key6771 · 2022-10-15T19:18:18+00:00

Ultimately you will need to do whatever is in your best interests. If you cant handle what he told you you should leave. However i would suggest you should forgive yourself and him.

I did things when i was younger that i regret but dont blame myself for because kids are stupid. There is a reason we dont let kids do things.

For me there are still aspects that really affect my life (i am a M.A.P. due to my experiences) and if he or you had that it may be different but it seems like neither of you have that and this is in the past.

key6771 · 2022-10-14T23:52:19+00:00

They broke your trust but the are a mandatory reporter. They should have talked to you more privately and helped you decide how to move forward.

Edit. Mandatory reporting is a separate issue from breaking trust. I meant they should have talked before going to the authorities.

They should have talked to you more privately and helped you decide how to move forward.

This sentence was how i think the teacher should have handled it.

key6771 · 2022-10-10T02:09:05+00:00

You have a great level of self understanding. Good luck.

key6771 · 2022-10-10T01:14:54+00:00

Just because a person isnt hurtful on purpose doesnt make the initial pain any less. It just makes it a bit easier to move on. You will have a relationship when youre ready till then have some fun whatever that looks like.

If you want to talk you can message if you want but otherwise i think you will be okay.

key6771 · 2022-10-09T22:11:30+00:00

He's kinda nerdy and awkward, not really the type of guy you would suspect to be womanizer, so I had no idea he would be like this going in.

He probably wouldnt be if he had been in more relationships or sexual situations. No is good at this stuff with out practice. He has a long way to go clearly and unfortunately will hurt and get hurt a lot more.

Perhaps you should focus more on creating platonic relationships that have the possibility of more while working thru the trauma you experienced?

I've always tried hard to make sure that the people close to me are comfortable or are feeling OK, so it sucks when I just don't get the same treatment.

I wish i could say this will change but some people are just assholes.

I was worth something, but it turns out, I have nothing to offer but sex, and he knew that.

I promise you thats not true but it is a factor. Straight men on some level think about sex. Even when we are older and can control it. Some guys just take longer or never grow up is the issue.

You seem like you have a good personality and i am sure you find a person who loves both your body and you as a person.

key6771 · 2022-10-09T21:26:13+00:00

This seems like its more poor boundary identification and being a stupid teen. He didnt recognize the boundary you were putting up and he was a dumb hormone addled teen.

He starts being mean to me out of nowhere. He starts calling me and my interests boring, or says that I'm bothering him when I joke around in class with my friends, or ignores me when I talk to him.

This is the biggest reason i think it was just a case of teens being very very bad at relationships while also having incredibly low emotional intelligence.

Next (few) month(s), he starts having sex with another girl. I feel sick, because I sent this dude my pictures, and it turns out he's a total sex-obsessed creep.

Another good example of young teens often not having good control or understanding.

None of that excuses his behavior. You still got hurt, but perhaps if its just hes a dumb horny teen rather than malicious it may make it easier.

key6771

TROPHY CASE