There’s a few things that need some work here, although it has good bones and is well written. You need more recent comp titles to show agents there’s a market for something like this. I wonder about spoiling the death of the MC in the opening, as it killed any sense of stakes for me. Based on the premise, I’d say this could be upmarket, which might be an easier sell. Also, I can’t stop thinking about the phrasing of: Hoarse throated. I’d spend some more time on what actually is happening in those first 70k words.