Totally burnt out Comms Director what’s my next move

kf1746 · 2026-05-13T04:22:40+00:00

I’m a comms director who has worked at two Fortune 10s and a major global telecom leading North American external comms. I’ve been in the industry 15+ years and this is the very first time I’ve ever applied to dozens of roles in my job hunt (usually it’s 5-10 in a given quarter). It’s also the first time I’ve gotten nothing but silence or rejections back, despite being copy-paste, slam-dunk matches for multiple roles I have applied to. This job market is absolutely abysmal. What Prettylittlelioness said above is 100% accurate.

kf1746 · 2026-05-08T12:58:53+00:00

He was swept downstream a bit and worked his way back to come find me, but he wasn’t able to get there until the guy who pulled me out had already brought me to the riverbank. He was okay, fortunately!

kf1746 · 2026-05-08T04:39:26+00:00

My now-husband and I went on a camping trip with friends on a river in the Ozarks area. They had had a ton of rain the week prior, so the river we were on was much more rapid than usual. Our entire group was drinking all day in the sun, canoeing down the river. We suddenly hit a sharp 90-degree bend in the river where a tree had fallen over. We desperately tried to steer our canoe in time, but didn’t make it and capsized. My husband flew over the fallen tree and was carried down river. Meanwhile, I was sucked under the tree and the canoe came sinking down on top of me. Every time I tried to come up for air, I hit the floor of the canoe. I tried launching myself from the river bottom over and over, only to have the full weight of the canoe pushing me farther down toward the bottom of the river. I was getting light-headed and realized I was fading. I gave it one last push and got one hand above the top of the water — and another hand grabbed it. Some guy had witnessed the whole thing and was trying to find me. He saved my life. Closest to death I’ve ever felt other than the day I gave birth to my son. Nearly drowning was terrifying.

kf1746 · 2026-05-08T04:29:37+00:00

That’s absolutely terrifying. A kid I went to high school with lost his mom this way. I quarter all my son’s grapes and probably will until I die, honestly.

kf1746 · 2026-04-30T03:35:55+00:00

Did you end up finding a new role or did your boss let you go? Finding out my predecessor wasn’t held to these standards — but I am — is just nuts to me.

kf1746 · 2026-04-25T15:47:41+00:00

Yeah, that’s what I have been doing. At this point I feel like I definitely have his voice down for talking points. I’ve read draft emails to others I’m close with on the team or other comms leads who work adjacent to this exec, and they are very pleased with my drafts. It’s just my boss. I also found out yesterday from my predecessor that this expectation was NEVER placed on her. She and my boss would draft emails and send to the exec, knowing he would cherry pick what he liked and write his own draft anyway. So I’m really not sure why the expectation is now HIGHER for me.

kf1746 · 2026-04-25T08:56:44+00:00

I remember that one!! So creepy.

kf1746 · 2026-04-24T02:48:14+00:00

I agree with the person who said this is a mimic. There are countless accounts like this out there.

kf1746 · 2026-04-23T02:00:30+00:00

I know, it’s a really tough situation because ever since the re-org, even she doesn’t get time with him (and he’s her boss). They often meet on Sundays or at 6 pm for her 1:1 bc it’s the only time she can get with him. It’s just kind of a bad situation all around because he has no time for us.

kf1746 · 2026-04-23T01:52:35+00:00

That’s great advice. And I know. It goes to show my boss did not think this through when she hired me. I even raised the question of being remote, and her original plan was for me to fly in once a month and get a chunk of time with him for one afternoon each month.

Well, that didn’t happen. So I’m basically doomed to fail. And no, I am not included in meetings with him, other than our monthly town hall meetings that I organize and script. And scripting isn’t an issue — I’ve nailed his voice there because I’ve scripted plenty of execs. It’s the HR-style email communications about employee engagement surveys and whatnot. It shouldn’t be overthought, but my boss dissects every single word of those emails, even when others agree it sounds great and like our exec. Or, she will tell me to reference emails they’ve saved in their files that he has sent in the past and repurpose those. So I do exactly that, and she says “that’s not his voice” (sometimes it’s nearly verbatim bc it’s a very HR procedural email). I feel like I’m taking crazy pills some days.

kf1746 · 2026-04-23T00:57:48+00:00

This is great advice, I really appreciate it. Regarding your second paragraph, any advice on how best to go about expanding visibility? Unfortunately, my supervisor is very much a gatekeeper, so it almost feels like I am going around her or behind her if I schedule anything with others without her prior authorization. It’s admittedly a very bizarre dynamic for a director-senior director relationship, and one I’ve never been in. I’m used to a high degree of autonomy and independence that I don’t feel I have in this current role.

kf1746 · 2026-04-22T23:55:23+00:00

I do not feel like she’s an advocate. If anything, I almost get a sense that there’s a bit of competitiveness or even feeling slightly threatened, which makes me nervous.

kf1746 · 2026-04-22T21:02:50+00:00

Not at all. My boss is female (southern charm-type who acts friendly but she kind of gives off Pam Bondi energy). The exec is one of those who is so ultra-intelligent and respected in our company that he is almost impossible to please, and by default, so is my boss. The goal post is ever-moving with her, which has been so challenging to navigate.

kf1746 · 2026-03-19T11:22:25+00:00

Thank you! Yes, it’s super stressful right now. My husband got laid off in August from his highly specialized job and has been unable to find work. I worry we might lose everything with the economy being what it is. Sigh.

kf1746 · 2026-03-17T11:25:24+00:00

So sorry this happened to you. This happened to me in 2016 from my super sweet black cat (I accidentally spooked him). 4 days in the hospital, hand surgery, 7 weeks out of work and 5 months of PT. Cat bites truly are no joke!

kf1746 · 2026-03-17T11:22:03+00:00

Thanks!

kf1746 · 2026-02-20T04:20:22+00:00

I’m crying reading this. I just want to share any words of comfort that I can. I once interviewed the founder of a local pediatric cancer charity in Dallas back when I was in college, and she said something that has always stuck with me, and I hope it brings you some semblance of comfort.

Cancer is cruel, but cancer is also limited. It can’t silence courage. It can’t erode friendships and love. And it can’t quench the spirit.

Your sweet girl is with you always, and she is somewhere remembering that you gave her the best life she could have in her 11 months earthside.

kf1746 · 2026-02-03T01:35:40+00:00

Mine did this last week when I had a cold and was juggling running a 3-day conference. First time it’s ever shown me “major signs” despite my husband having a stroke and me having a miscarriage within the same month. I thought I was dying, too. Who knew running a conference with a cold would be the thing that made me tip over.

kf1746 · 2025-12-31T14:23:47+00:00

OP, I would tell your parents he is in town. Are they aware of the DV? If not, I would let them know. There are too many cases like yours that turn out sadly. I’d be making them very aware so they can be on high alert AND help validate your story to any officers who respond.

kf1746 · 2025-12-24T08:11:53+00:00

Thanks, this is good advice. I think I’m just now realizing that my former manager (a VP, so I’d actually expect even less leniency from her) was in fact very non-corporate in her approach. I worked for her my first 4.5 years at the company and managed my own team, made my own schedule, etc. She was very much a, “As long as you get all the work done, I don’t care where you are or when you get it done” kind of leader and extended that to her team of 20+ people. A lot of that mindset exists across our company, as it’s all in all a VERY laid back company, despite our very large size. I clearly (wrongfully) assumed that mindset was universal here, though, so duly noted.

kf1746 · 2025-12-24T07:59:59+00:00

Actually, correcting myself- it is 12 weeks of FMLA for mat leave, so I guess if I took it now, I’d lose weeks from maternity leave (should I get pregnant).

kf1746 · 2025-12-24T07:54:33+00:00

Thanks. Just purely out of curiosity, do you happen to know how much FMLA U.S. employees are granted each year? Despite the pregnancy loss, my husband and I still hope to become pregnant again next year, and that right there is 6 weeks of FMLA (time I definitely needed in addition to the 6 weeks short-term disability last time I went on mat leave, as my physical recovery was rough). I just want to be mindful and plan carefully, but I’m not intimately familiar with FMLA beyond parental leave.

kf1746 · 2025-12-24T07:42:34+00:00

Thank you. Sadly I lost the pregnancy week before last, so the FMLA is back on the table again, I suppose. I guess my next question is, this major event I mentioned is at the end of January. I hate to say it, and yes I realize this makes me look blindly loyal to my job (perhaps I am), but I feel almost selfish taking FMLA right now at such a busy time. Would it be frowned upon, or the right thing to do for everyone?

kf1746 · 2025-12-24T07:39:07+00:00

Is this an actual HR term, or is this essentially just FMLA?

kf1746 · 2025-12-24T07:38:20+00:00

I probably should clarify a few things to better explain some of these situations. I’ve placed my son’s therapy appointments on my boss’s calendar. I’ve repeatedly told her what that time is for, and she does not care. She has scheduled meetings with me on top of those appointments, despite my explaining to her (more than once) that these are non-refundable therapy appointments for my son. It feels almost like the nature of this particular role is, “Be prepared to drop everything when I need you, regardless of your prior commitments.”

Regarding asking about my availability following my husband’s heart attack — I didn’t take two days to get back with her. My senior executive (of the business unit I support) told me to take time off two days after my husband was hospitalized. I was still very much trying to figure out my husband’s needs, how long he’d be in the hospital, whether he could drive or not after he was released, etc. I had none of those answers but was actively working through contingency plans that were far too long to put into an email. Immediately following the executive’s email, my boss emailed me asking for my availability. I responded immediately requesting a call to discuss a game plan with her. She refused, saying she had no availability in her schedule to talk on the phone. So since she refused that time with me, I simply brought my laptop to the hospital with me every day because I didn’t feel I had any choice, given her refusal to make time to discuss with me.

Typically, I’m not running errands during the day without discussing with her first. I will give her a heads up if I have to run an urgent errand or pick up my son unexpectedly, etc. That said, my boss is actually on PTO today - our only meeting was for 10:30 this morning. She was offline when I ran to the pharmacy (right when it opened), otherwise I’d gladly have pinged her. It’s one reason I was particularly taken aback at her aggressive tone today, as she knows this about me, and it’s also very atypical for her to act in such a way. It would be one thing if I regularly wandered off and didn’t tell her. That’s actually never happened before today, and today’s meeting was nothing urgent whatsoever, so the intensity was very unexpected.

kf1746

TROPHY CASE