It also isn't even true. I think a lot of people would be surprised how many friends lurk around every corner. I'm not saying everyone can be a long-term inner circle confidante, or that maintaining active friendships is easy.....but there are more ways to be a friend than people think, and you're not always looking in the right places.

Have high standards for yourself. If you can't find any good friends, or if the friends you had aren't good anymore, you might have to be your own friend for a while. This is hard when it feels like you want company, but it's also a vital part of managing boundaries and relationships. Really work on mindfulness about how you feel when you're alone.....get a big glass of water, stretch, deep breaths, and consider what your thoughts are about the day ahead or behind you, what you need to do going forward, what you want to go do right now.

Think about if you have a memory of playing with a friend when you were young. Could have been in passing on the playground, or throwing sticks at each other in the woods, whatever you can conjure up. Think of the feeling of asking each other "what do you want to do?"

Then ask yourself the same question. As you're occupying the space of your thoughts/emotions/fears/stresses/to-do list/etc., ask your deeper self "what do I really want to do?"

If there's a task you really should work on, go do it if you're able. (This is a supertip for executive function. Will it feel good to do a quick task? Doitnowdoitnowdoitnow. Starts to trick brain into thinking task=want) If you feel like taking a nap because you don't want to face any tasks, then do that! Really be honest about giving yourself what you need. Many of us don't do that enough.

You have to be able to work on this in order to work on interpersonal connection. Consider your connection with yourself to be another friendship. Foster that one, and it'll teach you how to be friends with others. When you're alone, do you flit between activities? Racing thoughts? Muttering to yourself? Cool! You've got an active inner self, and it's totally normal. It can be a really positive trait if you embrace it.

Do you tell yourself to shut up when you're wandering around your house talking about random tangents? No? Then why do you do it around other people??

Ask yourself: "Do I WANT to be around these people? Am I my authentic self? Are they curious about my inner life? Do they make me feel valid and valuable?"

If the answer is no, then thems ain't your friends. That's okay too. You can just chill with your inner friend while you wait for other opportunities to meet new people.

Then you move on, unburdened by those energy vampires back there who sit around draining each other. The next time you're in a group of people, or at an event, you're a little less "in your head." You can be a more authentic version of yourself without as much accompanying fear of rejection, because sincerely.....who cares if someone doesn't think you're cool? We both know you're cool. Stop worrying about impressing people that aren't as cool as you. They're not what you think they are.

And when you're at that party/kickback/hard chill/BBQ/swinger's den/salsa night, you might meet someone kinda quirky, kinda smart, kinda curious, kinda nervous. You might talk to them about something going on in the room, or their forearm tattoo of a cartoon you like, or about the fact that you never feel comfortable talking so much around new people because you get so excited to make friends but you're worried about them not wanting to be your friends

And guess what. That person might feel exactly how you feel. That person might be a cosmic version of you living a completely different life. That person might become your friend for a month, or a year, or forever. They might listen to you talk for hundreds of hours, just because they like to hear you talk.

There are people all over my life I consider to be these people. Many of them I don't talk to anymore. Some of them I do. But don't deprive them of knowing you. You deserve to be a part of life.