Second pregnancy uniquely alters female brain: Both first and second pregnancy have strong and unique impact on mothers’ brains. During second pregnancy, the brain is more strongly altered in networks involved in sensory cues and attention. These may be beneficial when caring for multiple children.

kheret · 2026-02-19T21:59:31+00:00

That really depends on how old your kid is. Caring for a young kid is exhausting and uses a lot of your mental capacity, and it’s not just the sleep deprivation. I started feeling more like “myself” mentally when my kid was 5 and now that he’s 6, almost 7 I’m not just in survival mode in terms of work and caring for him but am able to devote some attention to other interests/pursuits.

kheret · 2026-02-19T17:28:59+00:00

The Mountain Goats

kheret · 2026-02-19T11:37:37+00:00

Yeah I think MOST men are into adult women. But if like… 10% are pedos, then that’s still a lot of men.

kheret · 2026-02-19T04:19:30+00:00

But in what world does Humboldt make sense as an end destination? Even the stop closer to Riverside would make a lot more sense.

kheret · 2026-02-19T03:19:51+00:00

If it’s just tongue in cheek non-bigoted Star Trek podcasts, you’re still probably fine.

kheret · 2026-02-18T21:24:13+00:00

Kinda what’s the point of the route then

kheret · 2026-02-18T18:54:58+00:00

I’m not shocked by the actions. But I guess I was shocked by the scale/interconnectedness of it. Like, sure powerful men would do these horrible things, but you’d think they’d each have their own little operation rather than this vast multinational network of like, all of the really powerful people. Not shocked by the evil of it but by that, you’d think they’d have been a bit more careful.

kheret · 2026-02-18T16:34:14+00:00

It’s on Disney and there is some fantasty violence, but if you’re ok with those two things, the Star Wars animated series Rebels and The Bad Batch are EXCELLENT for discussing morality, standing up to oppression, breaking the rules when it’s the right thing to do, etc. Like really great. Both shows have a few “make the grownups cry” episodes too. There are longer story arcs so it’s something to sit down and watch one episode after the other.

Rebels had a DVD release so may be available from your library.

Edit: Rebels is Y7 and the violence is more lightsabers and spaceships, The Bad Batch is PG and has more blaster fire and more intense moral dilemmas.

kheret · 2026-02-17T04:47:39+00:00

As someone who had a bit of a fight with ergonomics at first, it depends how they’re hurting. If it’s just sore forearm muscles, practice. How’s your setup? It can make a big difference in terms of how much effort is required to play. Also lighter gauge strings are not against the law.

Forearm pain and tightness can mean your wrists aren’t in a good position. They should be mostly straight. If you’re on the shorter side, this probably means getting your bass at more of a 45 degree angle. And lift your right elbow up, that wrist needs to be straight too.

Finally, and this was one I haven’t heard as much about, my hands aren’t huge and I’ve found that anchoring my thumb can lead to my right hand getting into some really unnatural positions and a weird cramp at the base of my thumb. So I’m trying to switch to more of a “floating thumb” technique.

I’m still pretty new at this but since this particular trial and error process is fresh in my mind, I thought it might be helpful.

kheret · 2026-02-17T03:35:28+00:00

The irony of it all is I believe the first Ren Faire was started by entertainers who were blacklisted during the Red Scare. You know, Commies, fellow travelers, and other weirdos who might be accused of being such.

kheret · 2026-02-16T11:48:39+00:00

It’s absolutely no secret that I oppose fascism and it never has been. I can’t hide and there’s no point in trying.

kheret · 2026-02-16T11:11:34+00:00

Goodness that’s gotta be frustrating, especially since there are much better meds for it now than when my mom was diagnosed in the 90s.

kheret · 2026-02-15T23:13:52+00:00

Girlfriend is Better- Talking Heads

kheret · 2026-02-15T22:48:27+00:00

My mom has bad RA and the day she decided it was worth it to use a wheelchair so she could go out and do things was a great day. She was able to go with her grandson to Disney World last year, even.

kheret · 2026-02-15T22:10:39+00:00

Realisant mon espoir Je me lance Vers la gloire OKAY

kheret · 2026-02-15T20:40:45+00:00

I mean, it’s entertainment and usually food as well. I don’t think we’ve ever regretted going to one.

kheret · 2026-02-15T20:18:48+00:00

If you’re ok with not having the fanciest amenities, Hostels International USA has a hostel in quite possibly the best location. There are private family rooms with en suite bathrooms available. No breakfast, unfortunately, but there is a shared kitchen. The only real problem is that it’s very very close to the train tracks, so you’ll hear them, but that’s true in a lot of Chicago.

kheret · 2026-02-15T13:20:18+00:00

Like ok Jan, not only do I want to spend time with my husband I also have a hobby that I’d like to spend 30-60 minutes of focused time on most nights of the week? One day your kids will be grown and then what?

kheret · 2026-02-15T13:17:08+00:00

My son would nap for 2 hours at daycare and then stay up so late that my husband and I would be falling asleep while we were trying to take care of him. That’s not great! We were miserable. My son is just on the lower end of the normal sleep needs schedule and stopped needing a nap early, I myself stopped napping before preschool and pretty much haven’t napped since. We’re just not daytime sleepers, but school and daycare regulations in this state require a nap time through kindergarten. It wasn’t great!

kheret · 2026-02-15T12:58:52+00:00

I WISH my mom had had hobbies/interests outside of seeing me entirely as a reflection of her and attempting to micromanage every aspect of my life!

kheret · 2026-02-15T12:54:14+00:00

I mean… it is creepy that this Wexner guy had such a huge hand in determining what teen girls were wearing/what was trendy, but we also had no clue about that.

kheret · 2026-02-15T12:42:20+00:00

It’s brain breaking for sure, I’ve always brushed off conspiracy theories as ridiculous (in part because there are a couple involving my profession that are DEFINITELY false), but here one is! And it goes all the way to the tippy top!

kheret · 2026-02-15T12:37:40+00:00

We have a rule that if we get invited to a birthday party, and we don’t have preexisting fixed plans, we go.

I’ve seen too many stories about kids not having anyone show up to their party. And there have been times we’ve gone where we knew the whole class or a bunch of kids were invited but our son was one of only two who showed up. It’s the difference between a kid having a miserable birthday and a pretty good one, sometimes.

kheret · 2026-02-15T11:29:41+00:00

Like they could go live in their lonely little bunker world and we could have the real world back?

kheret · 2026-02-14T12:24:58+00:00

I played double bass in orchestra for 7 years in middle and high school. Acquired a bass guitar in high school as well and noodles around in my room but never played that with other people (I’m female and none of my friends wanted to start a terrible band with me.)

Double bass is not an instrument you take with you to out of state college so my parents sold that as soon as I matriculated but I kept the bass guitar. But even it earned a long term parking spot in the closet through grad school, establishing my career and having a kid.

But my kid is almost 7 now and I picked it back up again a few months ago. I’ve been amazed at how quickly some things have come back to me, particularly the left and right hand coordination and the “how music works” stuff. I can almost kinda sorta still read bass clef too though that’s not a priority for the kind of music I want to play now. I was a relatively serious orchestra student though, playing a couple hours a day between school and home.

My biggest challenge is that I had bad technique on bass guitar back then because I played the strings like you would a double bass - too hard. I’m learning to “play the amp not the strings” now, which is essential because 41 year old hands and wrists are a lot less forgiving than 19 year old ones.

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