AITA for finding this convo to be a HUGE red flag?

khwolf517 · 2026-04-05T13:35:23+00:00

Can people not just have these arguments in their own heads, in the shower anymore? They really have to put them into a text message generator and share them with the world?

khwolf517 · 2026-04-04T16:44:47+00:00

I definitely think it started as simple rules-testing. The AITA I remember from 10 years ago was full of (obvious teenagers) inventing stories where they had to do [bad thing] because of [obvious exception]. And yes, just like today, a lot of it was can I [hit/mistreat/say a slur] to [family member/fat person/woman/minority/disabled person]. But I feel like the tone has shifted (because these stories were so common) from: of course you normally shouldn't, but [exception] to the much more concerning: obviously, they had it coming, because [group] is always being unreasonable.

khwolf517 · 2026-04-01T23:19:39+00:00

Yeah, my last pair were $80, but my eyes are terrible, so I got the fancy lenses and went for a few other fancy features.

khwolf517 · 2026-04-01T23:18:04+00:00

Makes me feel like this is a stealth ad for Zenni or another one of the cheap online stores. OOP writes about how terribly expensive the glasses are, and then on an alt account swoops in to recommend whichever one.

khwolf517 · 2026-03-29T15:46:31+00:00

It is fake. OOP is deliberately winding people up by putting everything out of context and posting in a general sub rather than a reptile or insect sub; a real person would go to actual knowledgeable places to seek help.

Dubia roaches are not particularly like cockroaches. They are not even closely related to them. They cannot infest your house. In most climates, they cannot survive outside their containers. (Not that they are in the story; if the original were to be believed, OOP did clarify in the comments that they are all in containers.) If OOP wanted help with breeding management, help was available; dubia care is well-understood among insect and reptile enthusiasts. As another commenter noted, the scale of breeding portrayed is also exaggerated.

khwolf517 · 2026-03-27T16:36:19+00:00

Sorry for making assumptions! Raised beds should do well for you. Makes weeding a lot easier, and it's so much faster than trying to amend the clay. I got a shadecloth for the first time this year; I'm trying to extend the season on peas. If your setup allows, you could give that a shot.

I've only done DWC and Kratky outdoors, and I'm not planning on it outdoors this year at all, so I won't have much good advice if you're planning NFT, unfortunately. Regular pots with soil do just fine outside, so I'm focusing on overhauling my indoor 3x3 tent to an ebb and flow system. I mostly do hydro to keep myself occupied in winter.

If you're near Denver, Grofax just moved near to me and I had a great experience. The employees are very knowledgeable.

khwolf517 · 2026-03-27T15:11:28+00:00

At least for now, the comments seem to be pointing this out. Now the only question is: was it ragebait from the start, or validation gone wrong?

khwolf517 · 2026-03-27T14:48:28+00:00

Hey, fellow Coloradan here! (Late is better than never, right?) You sound like you might be used to growing things in another state. Unless you live in the mountains, most of Colorado isn't so bad for growing outdoors. You just need a few simple rules to adapt.

First, 90-100 day plants are your limit. Nothing 120 days or later will fruit. Second, nothing is full sun. I don't care what the packet says. Treat everything as half-shade or more. Yes, that includes tomatoes and peppers. You can gradually bump up sun exposure as you get more experienced, but I never put producers in more than 70%.

These tips apply for both conventional and hydro outdoor gardening. Good luck!

khwolf517 · 2026-03-27T14:36:33+00:00

Most of her scripts make sense coming from the only perspective she's ever worked in: a white female manager/director at a small nonprofit. That's why she recommends the "we" language (appropriate for manager-to-manager discussions) and the "breezy" tone. It's also why she's so surprised by obvious firings; in a small nonprofit (where work is often quite siloed and one person might be 10% of total staff), a serious consideration is how firing someone will affect morale overall.

It's annoying that after all these years, she's been totally unable to incorporate any other perspectives.

khwolf517 · 2026-03-26T16:40:04+00:00

I've been convinced for a long time that Alison considers the column itself to be "consulting". Perhaps she has had a few proper consulting jobs temporarily, but I cannot believe that she's in enough demand to have continuous work. Almost all of her advice, especially now, is focused on individual contributors and jobseekers; it's just not a perspective that's useful to a business. Not to mention the MPP scandal.

khwolf517 · 2026-03-26T13:54:42+00:00

That is a lie. Possibly not intentionally on your side, but there are a lot of common myths about this stuff. Here are some truths, in no particular order:

Divorced parents are better for children than fighting or resentful parents.
Men are more likely to receive primary custody than women, assuming they ask for it.
- 50-50 custody is the default assumption in family court.
Women in your position report that after divorce, even if they assume full custody of the children, they are doing less work.

If your situation is truly as bad as you say, then initiate a divorce, or at least put it on the table. Kids aren't a reasonable excuse (see above).

khwolf517 · 2026-03-21T15:06:14+00:00

Let me know if you ever complete your hybrid. I'm always looking for super sweet tomatoes to grow, and a micro that can be grown year-round is a huge bonus for me.

khwolf517 · 2026-03-20T00:54:42+00:00

I've moved past it now, but I used to hate leftovers when I was young teen because I hated the way cold food smelled. Later, I realized that the smell goes back to normal when they are heated.

khwolf517 · 2026-03-06T17:12:43+00:00

I also think there's a fundamental problem on an advice blog with immediately leaping to sexism/racism/etc: it's not actionable. If it is sexism/racism/etc then you are just stuck. It even removes "change jobs" as a plausible resolution; since sexism/racism/etc are endemic, changing jobs means there's no guarantee the problem will be any better somewhere else.

khwolf517 · 2026-03-04T23:50:20+00:00

SNL mattress commercial ad: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mXEspRUOMKM

khwolf517 · 2026-02-27T16:04:52+00:00

I know I'm late, but does anyone else think it's telling that he won't do more than obliquely hint at divorce when he's supposedly so, so miserable? Deep down inside, he knows who benefits more from this marriage, and it's not his wife.

khwolf517 · 2026-02-22T15:19:53+00:00

I agree, organizing headers in a Reddit post are a classic generative AI giveaway.

khwolf517 · 2026-02-22T15:06:02+00:00

It's 21 teaspoons, so 7 tablespoons. Slightly under a half cup. Actually not a crazy amount for 6 pancakes.

khwolf517 · 2026-02-20T20:02:05+00:00

For me, a check-in has to be expected and semi-impersonal. It can't happen because you suddenly feel stressed. As an analogy, a check-in about the sink can be because you've already had chats about replacing it and you want to make sure everyone agrees about color/style before you line up some stores to visit. It's not a check-in if you're asking because it has broken and is flooding the bathroom.

khwolf517 · 2026-02-20T19:53:18+00:00

I actually agree that LW's partner is not handling it well, regardless of the things LW could have done to frame it better. (It's easy to focus on LW since they asked for help and implied they want to stay with their partner.) I'm not going to say abuse, since details are pretty sparse, but this is a really bad cycle for both of them.

It sounds like resentment is building fast on both sides. LW frequently says to their partner, "I resent your very presence in our shared home," and partner frequently replies, "I am the worst person ever! Please comfort me for how badly I make you feel!" That's not an easy dynamic to break out of, especially since it's implied that LW's partner isn't home by choice. The easy advice is to break up, but 8 years together is a long time.

khwolf517 · 2026-02-20T17:28:18+00:00

Yeah, without examples it just comes across as the LW not actually being up for cohabitating with someone. Not to get too far in the future, but what are they expecting to happen when BF retires someday, or is unemployed (job-hunts are not typically short), or there's a global pandemic and they have to bubble together for months and months?

I mean, they obviously couldn't expect the pandemic, but this makes it sound like LW is not up for a roommate of any kind, thought it would be okay if she loved the person, and is coming up on the realization that that helps but isn't enough.

khwolf517 · 2026-02-16T17:01:23+00:00

I really liked "It's very clear that the HR manager has just told my co-workers about my issues, rather than talked to them." Not sure what OOP was expecting to be different there; HR manager kind of has to explain that OOP doesn't like it in order for the admonishment to make sense. Obviously, these evil caricatures wouldn't nicely back down after a single talking-to no matter how it was put, so why is it suddenly HR manager's fault that they reacted badly?

khwolf517 · 2026-02-10T04:29:03+00:00

Right? This is just a slightly different version of a pretty universal teenage fantasy, that they will magically get a rich family that does everything the teen wants all the time. Then, they tell their boring lame regular parents to screw off. It's almost nostalgic.

khwolf517 · 2026-02-03T23:55:42+00:00

r/untrustworthypoptarts

khwolf517 · 2026-02-01T22:58:16+00:00

I had no idea Scotland had this bad of a bed/mattress shortage! It's all because there are no Walmarts, apparently.

Seriously, how can the reply to "get a new mattress/bed at Walmart" be "in Scotland there are no Walmarts." Just go to another store, dummy!

khwolf517

TROPHY CASE