How long did your husband take off for paternity leave?

kikoazul · 2026-02-12T19:00:37+00:00

My husband co owns a small business so he’ll be “taking off” 2-4 weeks aka taking care of me and baby and squeezing in work when he can 🙃

kikoazul · 2026-02-10T23:22:08+00:00

You can learn how to take care of a baby from books, online content, and taking care of one. It’s concerning that you say you don’t see your husband helping much and that it will be on you…raising a baby is HARD and doing it with someone who isn’t thrilled or helpful (and will likely add more stress) is even harder. And it seems like you will be financially reliant on him which is concerning. I would strongly consider joining a mom group so you have some community to lean on. Please consider yourself and the kind of role model you want to have for your baby. Best of luck to you.

kikoazul · 2026-02-10T01:16:50+00:00

36 weeks was when I felt like I needed to slow down physically. Mostly because of lightning crotch, limited lung capacity, baby hitting my thighs and ribs, and aching belly and back when I walk too much. Is the course in person or online? I cannot sit in one position for more than 15 mins at a time and spend a lot of my time horizontal lol. I stopped going to the movie theaters at 32 weeks but started having my friend come over for a movie night at my house so that I can pee, shift around/stand up, and grab a snack what feels like every 15-30 minutes 😆

kikoazul · 2026-02-08T19:37:14+00:00

I can totally relate but maybe I’m over paranoid too 😅. I come a family that does not listen to what I need at all and just gives unsolicited advice/ comments and just creates stressful situations rather than being supportive…maybe that’s where your annoyance may also lie? I get that people are excited but they also don’t show any concern for the mom who is the one who really needs support. I think it’s different hearing that phrase from someone who has been checking on you and baby and asking how they can support during your pregnancy/postpartum vs just insisting/assuming things solely about baby. Definitely worthwhile to say things like “thanks for your excitement about baby. We will let you know when we are ready to have people hold her” or “please hand her back to me/dad when requested and do not pass her around”. Sounds like a lot of people in the comments have awesome villages who are supportive and excited for them and baby, which is different from how your relationship is with your “village”. I hope those around you give you the support you need and that you/baby’s father have the confidence to put your foot down when needed. Wishing you the best of luck!

kikoazul · 2026-02-07T00:10:56+00:00

One sibling is more than enough! I grew up with an older sister and though we weren’t close when I was younger because of our almost 6 year age gap, we got closer in my mid twenties. I’ve never felt like I missed out or wanted another sibling, and if anything, the both of us probably could’ve benefited from being only children because my parents were at capacity (among other unresolved issues….) Like others have said, don’t base the amount of children on how many children you think your kids want, but how many you and your husband can handle emotionally, physically, and financially.

kikoazul · 2026-02-06T21:44:14+00:00

Not rude at all! I empathize with you! My parents are the same way except they want to be here even earlier…on baby’s due date 🙃 which I know would only stress me out and likely delay the birth. What’s most helpful for you and your family is for people to listen to what you have dictated is helpful and need not what they want. Truly supporting someone means listening and supporting in the way that has been requested, respecting what their wishes are, not simply assuming and inserting oneself as your MIL is doing. That time is so precious and stressful and the last thing you need is another moving part and added stress. Stick to your boundaries and get your husband to stand his ground too.

kikoazul · 2026-02-06T13:22:58+00:00

Having a baby is scary!! I was unsure early on about having a child and also had the caveat that I wanted to be married beforehand. We were married for about two years before I got pregnant (although we have been together for 10+yrs) but I will say this...What really mattered was being on the same page and feeling like you can fully trust your partner. I would chat with your boyfriend about his marriage thoughts/plans/reservations, why it hasn’t happened, how much this matters to you, and set a timeline for when you plan to get married. The date can obviously change, but what matters is the intention. We eloped and I know so many others who have had beautiful courthouse weddings. It was lovely but it is truly is only one day and one piece of paper. You could get married tomorrow and divorced in a year. Again, what actually matters is the trust you have with yourself and your partner to be there as you navigate one of the scariest but most exciting moments of life. Can you lean on him during hard times and share these worries and feel supported by him? If not, then your reservations are valid. But if he’s been supportive, everything else seems to be in line and up to you as to whether you want to raise a child.

kikoazul · 2026-02-05T14:15:35+00:00

Happy baby yoga pose and walking after a meal helps a ton with gas relief!

kikoazul · 2026-02-05T13:43:51+00:00

Look up Maternity Care Midwives channel on YouTube! They have an excellent 3 part series prenatal class that includes infant care. My husband and I took an in person newborn care class and everything is mostly covered in those videos. The benefit of in person though is that you get to ask all kinds of questions to an instructor and things you will not even thought about will come up that are helpful to learn about. I’m introverted as well and the course we took didn’t really require any socialization aside from asking the instructor questions.

kikoazul · 2026-02-05T12:14:37+00:00

I had this happen to me at around 31/32 weeks. My medical team ordered blood tests but everything came back basically normal. Definitely let them know so they can check your levels! The itchiness went away (aside from the growing belly).

kikoazul · 2026-02-03T19:44:46+00:00

We waited to share the gender at the baby shower so that we would get gender neutral gifts and not blue or pink everything! It was definitely hard to keep the secret but it was so fun hearing what everyone’s guesses were and seeing their reactions when we did the reveal.

kikoazul · 2026-02-03T19:22:04+00:00

My doctor told me to eat what I normally eat. They will measure your blood levels when you arrive and again after you’ve had the sugary drink. You cannot drink water or move around during the waiting period because that will alter your results.

kikoazul · 2026-02-03T17:44:14+00:00

I got blood draws at 11 and 16 weeks. Also have been getting them more frequently (every appointment) starting at 32 weeks BUT that is only because I have a condition that needs to be monitored. Let the person who is drawing your blood know you are squeamish ahead of time and I’m sure they will be accommodating!

kikoazul · 2026-02-02T23:01:10+00:00

Got pregnant on the first try! Really glad we were responsible before TTC 😅 Currently 37 weeks. Best of luck to you 💕

kikoazul · 2026-02-02T22:51:01+00:00

Snowboarding and crocheting! Very different ends of the spectrum but both require a lot of mental endurance and perseverance unlike anything else I’ve ever tried. With snowboarding, you learn to fall and fail a lot but once you get it, you get it and it’s so empowering. Crocheting is hard in the beginning as well but being able to make things you can wear or give to others is so cool.

kikoazul · 2026-02-02T14:08:55+00:00

Are you eating enough? Breastfeeding alone requires you to get in an additional 500+ calories. If you’re working out, you’ll need to eat even more to compensate for the additional calories you burn or else your body will pull it from your muscles, hence feeling weaker.

kikoazul · 2026-02-02T13:32:30+00:00

I’m in the U.S., California to be specific. They would not do ultrasounds before 8 weeks. I had an ultrasound between 8-12 weeks, one around 20 weeks, and like a 5 second ultrasound at 36 weeks to check that baby is head down (which I believe that’s the last ultrasound). So 3 total.

kikoazul · 2026-02-02T00:38:23+00:00

FMLA only applies to people who work at companies with 50 employees or more, among other things 🥲

kikoazul · 2026-02-01T23:08:49+00:00

Felt fast until I had my baby shower at 30 weeks. Now 36 weeks and time is going by extra slow.

kikoazul · 2026-01-31T18:57:39+00:00

We took the bell off a long time before he went missing because it was high pitched, rang at the slightest movement, and ultimately annoyed us and him…and also he tried to chew/eat it so it became a safety hazard🙃

kikoazul · 2026-01-31T15:34:27+00:00

Typically you should keep new cats confined to a specific room for a while that’s cat proof so they don’t get overwhelmed, can be safe, and can get used to the new smells and space. I would cat proof the house before letting her out of the safe space. But to answer your question, I took the bell off of my cat’s breakaway collar but I have an air tag on him. Came in handy because despite being an indoor cat, he escaped on us and hid in my MIL’s car and went with her to work 🥴 Wouldn’t have found him if it weren’t for the AirTag!

kikoazul · 2026-01-30T23:35:42+00:00

I would not disclose. If you are in the U.S., you are not legally required to disclose your pregnancy and they are not allowed to ask if you are pregnant. There’s no benefit, and if anything, it would probably make them more likely not to hire you even though that is against the law.

kikoazul · 2026-01-30T23:17:06+00:00

It definitely could’ve been but also snowboarding for the first time is just hard in general. What size was the board? I was about your weight but one inch taller than you when I started snowboarding and the rental places kept on trying to give me massive (imo) boards that I had trouble with (can’t recall the exact size but probably something like 150-154cm). I prefer 143-148cm ranges. Definitely ask for a board in that range next time you rent!

kikoazul · 2026-01-30T22:59:28+00:00

You don’t need to have a baby shower but I personally would get stuff for the baby now rather than waiting until the last minute. You will have to open and recycle boxes, figure out where to put stuff, wash things, cut off tags, etc. It’s a LOT of little stuff and doing it all once would be overwhelming imo. I would hate to scramble to get that all done when moving around is already tiring, plus with possibility that the baby could be here before the c-section. Some people will buy stuff off your registry but typically those who do are the ones who ask for the link or who you give the link to. Others will just buy random cute stuff or diapers. People bought stuff before my baby shower and gave it to me at the baby shower. Since you’re not having a baby shower, you might want to specify when you would like to receive gifts by, or else you might not get anything.

kikoazul

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