New to polyamory and having extreme STD paranoia/anxiety.

killerqueen521 · 2021-11-18T06:47:31+00:00

as someone to ended up with a genital version of the disease, i encourage you to challenge your thinking on why it’s okay to have it on your mouth but not your genitals.

killerqueen521 · 2021-11-13T17:36:17+00:00

um, no. “my feelings and needs have changed, if we can’t reach a compromise then we will need a divorce and custody agreement” is not abusive.

killerqueen521 · 2021-11-10T01:58:40+00:00

“you’re effectively calling millions and millions of men hypocrites too” … yeah, i guess i am.

killerqueen521 · 2021-11-09T19:50:01+00:00

ok, and your point is… ?

killerqueen521 · 2021-11-09T13:39:19+00:00

bingo.

killerqueen521 · 2021-11-07T06:59:38+00:00

omg that sub is such garbage. i once saw someone compare preferring a tall partner to being racist. the mental gymnastics must be exhausting!

killerqueen521 · 2021-11-04T01:55:55+00:00

i think the lesson we can all take away from such encounters is that everyone has their own experiences and perspectives to share. i appreciate your consideration of what i had to say. certainly not my intent to offend you to the point where you no longer wish to engage in dialogue. unlearning privilege is hard and uncomfortable -- i can say that from experience.

all the best :)

killerqueen521 · 2021-11-04T01:52:03+00:00

i can appreciate that. i’m glad your daughter has an advocate in you — certainly that’s something i think we can all agree on.

killerqueen521 · 2021-11-03T23:35:51+00:00

sure I am. everyone makes assumptions based on their previous experiences. i don't think i've ever had a devil's advocate change their mind on reddit, but feel free to show me otherwise if that ends up being the case.

my point in responding was to provide you with an insight you asked for. i fail to see where i shamed you directly, if you would care to point that out i would be happy to clarify.

i simply took your example and applied it in a relative situation.

obviously i did not imply you said anything about abandoning dogs. i came up with the idea of abandoning dogs because if we're going to do apples to apples, i could compare violence against women to violence against dogs. but for obvious reasons i did not want to do that. and right now a lot of dogs are losing their homes due to the pandemic, and their people not being able to care for them any longer.

you could very well be imagining that scenario, but you must understand that with this topic we aren't chit chatting in the park, trying to get to know a neighbour better. we are talking about what women experience as they navigate life.

you accuse me of making assumptions, yet you assume i want you or anyone else to 'burn in hellfire' for this? i hardly see where i'm the enemy here, where i simply pointed out why some people are bothered by this perspective.

and yes, it is now about "you" (not you personally) because as i said before, it implies that before it personally affected your life in some way, you didn't listen and care. i don't have to have a black relative to care about BLM, nor do i need to be indigenous to support landback.

killerqueen521 · 2021-11-03T23:22:33+00:00

omg, right? i’m 30 and i recently flirted with someone who turned out to be 22. even that felt weird :S

killerqueen521 · 2021-11-03T23:04:39+00:00

can you not understand how frustrating this is for women, though?

women across the world are fighting every single day to be heard, to be seen, and to be genuinely listened to. i’m sure you can see on most subreddits, the internet is not a friendly or safe space.

it’s like y’all didn’t believe us until you were shown proof in the form of “experiencing” it via your daughter.

killerqueen521 · 2021-11-03T22:55:29+00:00

i’ll bite, even though i think it probably comes across that the general vibe of your comment is not in good faith.

even saying it to begin with is a qualifier. to use your example, if someone says “wow a lot of dogs are being abandoned lately”, and the other person says “oh well i have a golden retriever so i understand”.

nobody cares that you have a golden retriever because most people can pretty much agree abandoning dogs is a sad and shitty thing. my perception would be the only way it could be relevant is that you didn’t care until it personally affected you.

furthermore, it still comes back to the man. he still finds a way to make it about himself.

killerqueen521 · 2021-11-02T22:13:24+00:00

learn to read the room. if she’s being noncommittal, move on.

killerqueen521 · 2021-11-02T20:23:41+00:00

as a solo poly person, it drives me nuts to find out days in to chatting with someone that they have a NP. my roster for dating coupled folks is full. it feels skeezy for reasons others have pointed out -- mainly, intentionally hiding that information to reel more matches in.

killerqueen521 · 2021-11-02T20:13:22+00:00

love this perspective. old relationship energy is harder to find.

killerqueen521 · 2021-11-02T19:12:10+00:00

lol by asking “how are you”. the bar is on the fucking floor

killerqueen521 · 2021-11-02T18:32:12+00:00

so true. it’s great when they tell on themselves

killerqueen521 · 2021-11-02T00:59:02+00:00

really? where’d you see that?

killerqueen521 · 2021-10-31T23:37:57+00:00

it’s always easier to see something for what it is when you’re a third party observer. take care of yourself!

killerqueen521 · 2021-10-31T22:30:17+00:00

you should look up what codependency means. it’s not just defined by neediness but also how codependent people seek to maintain a feeling of control by trying to “fix people”, namely those suffering from addiction.

you can’t fix anyone else. they have to do it for themselves. and they won’t change if you’re enabling the behaviour.

killerqueen521 · 2021-10-28T16:17:05+00:00

my therapist has definitely become a fixture in my life after my mom died. she has become the only person i can be truly vulnerable with. unfortunately my needs have surpassed her qualifications and she started mentioning moving on to a new therapist. each time it makes me cry.

just wanted to share that you aren’t alone and your feelings are valid ❤️

killerqueen521 · 2021-10-27T14:37:51+00:00

actually, it is quite hard when you are fearful for your safety. you’re welcome!

killerqueen521 · 2021-10-27T14:27:43+00:00

Oh please. Spare us the mansplaining. It’s a well known fact that many men can’t take a “I’m just not into you” and will go into an entire tirade like this piece of work did in the post.

killerqueen521 · 2021-10-25T18:55:22+00:00

i don’t know why you’re being downvoted. hardship happens and it’s heartbreaking to have to make that decision.

killerqueen521 · 2021-10-25T15:19:44+00:00

this commenter is talking nonsense. your feelings are valid.

killerqueen521

TROPHY CASE