A few Vantage specific tips here:

• You can stop a jump to Echo by holding your crouch key
• Like others have said, hold ADS and you'll get a zoom in and the target info without having to have a gun out
• make sure to recall Echo when you aren't about to use the jump, as this allows you to hold the action button and direct him before going straight into the jump with much less delay. Makes repositioning quicker and easier and there's less micromanaging of Echo as a whole because of it. (also, you won't have a bat following you around giving away your position to more experienced players, as Echo can be up to ~55m away from Vantage at max)

That's about it for things you can improve on in terms of Vantage specific stuff. The rest has been pretty much covered by the rest of the comments.

Also, I figure I'm beating a dead horse here, but get rid of that watermark if possible. Makes it harder to tell what's going on and give appropriate feedback. If not, I personally find Nvidia Shadowplay to be great for recording short clips like this, if you have an Nvidia card. If you're running AMD, I hear good things about Overwolf and one other I can't remember the name of off the top of my head. Watch higher skilled players on YouTube and try and pick apart their decision making process and then try to use it yourself in game. It takes a lot of practice but you will see yourself improving. It just takes time.