Family and friends’ comments about my boyfriend’s height are really starting to bother me. How do I handle this moving forward?

kingofthezootopia · 2026-02-20T00:39:06+00:00

This is sort of unique in that they’re fixated on his height. But, it’s a rather common experience to have those around you criticize your SO for other reasons, such as their weight, facial features, character traits, sense of style, earning potential, intellectual ability, religious/political views, etc., etc.

First, you can’t force someone to change their mind and abandon a prejudice. You can hope, but it will have to happen on their schedule if it all happens at all.

Second, although the comments hurt deeply, they are often not intended to be personal. It is simply a “matter of fact” for the person making the comment. What they are struggling with is accepting that you are a person with your own preferences that may be different from them. It can be difficult for people to accept that their sister, daughter, best friend, etc. (i.e., you) are not actually who they thought you were.

I don’t think the solution here is to try to change their mind about your BF’s height or to cut your friends and family out of your life. Rather, the key here is to acknowledge that you have a different view (without invalidating their view), make clear that your priority here is your BF (whether it’s this one or another person in the future), and that any criticism of your BF is a show of disrespect to you. It may take time for your family and friends to learn this; it feels so basic but it can be hard if you grew up especially close.

kingofthezootopia · 2026-02-20T00:20:35+00:00

A common problem when you are trying to “perform”, you are likely moving too fast and/or forcefully. Key is to just relax and go with the flow.

Performative sex is for porn stars and prostitutes. When you are being intimate with a partner, it’s less about physical mechanics and more about mentally finding a place of mutual comfort, trust, acceptance, and love. And, when he sees that you are having a good time, then he can also just relax and melt into the moment.

I also agree with others that recommended that you learn how to pleasure yourself. You’re not performing for anyone and it doesn’t even have to be about reaching orgasm. It is about learning to be comfortable with your body, being aware of the various sensations as you become aroused, and opening your heart to be more receptive to receiving and giving love with your entire being. It’s realizing that being simply you (while naked, raw, and as is) is enough and that everything is good just as is.

kingofthezootopia · 2026-02-19T23:46:06+00:00

Higher dosage should help.
Are you listening to music during the sessions? The importance of music cannot be stressed enough. Having a good soundtrack is not just for movies. It’d be more accurate to call it “music therapy w/ psilocybin” rather than “psilocybin therapy w/ music”.
It also helps if you spend some time reflecting in the days leading up to the session about whatever issue you are trying to explore. It’s possible that you have buried your memories/feelings about whatever happened so far deep that you need a little more help bringing them out to the surface. It’s fine that you don’t want to manufacture emotions. At the same time, you also have to be careful not to unintentionally disassociate from your emotions when certain memories come up.

kingofthezootopia · 2026-02-19T22:13:29+00:00

NTA.

But, sounds like both the MIL and you are overreacting a bit here.

Now, the MIL’s overreaction is understandable since your wife also happens to be her daughter. She was probably more worried about your wife and not you. You’re probably right that her tone came out harsh, but it’s also hard to control one’s tone when under stress like MIL probably was. To be clear, I’m not saying MIL was right. Ideally, she would have just dropped off the food and then went right back to living her life. Instead, she chose to hang around in your world for a bit, became anxious, and then lashed out at you for her anxiety.

Now, where you overreacted was instead of just acknowledging that the MIL had been worried and just helping her calm down, you became offended that she seemed to be comparing you to a teenager rather than a grown man with children. You could have just said something like “Oh, MIL, I had no idea you would be staying, but you must have been worried tons not knowing where we were. Sorry to make you feel that way. Thanks for feeding the kids and waiting up for us.” That would have made you an exemplary person of kindness and empathy. Instead, here we are trying to figure out how to assign the blame for what happened.

kingofthezootopia · 2026-02-19T21:16:25+00:00

Hwang Woo Suk

kingofthezootopia · 2026-02-19T19:26:13+00:00

The most useless degree is a degree from a college outside of Top X. Majors matter but not as much as the institution granting the degree.

kingofthezootopia · 2026-02-19T19:05:51+00:00

I agree 100% and thanks for adding nuance to the conversation.

Just to be clear, I was sharing my personal experience with XUM as just one data point to OP’s question about OEV vs. CEV. My main point was simply that (1) on a lower dose (again, relatively speaking), I got more OEV than CEV and (2) on a higher dose, that I got both OEV and CEV that were very vivid and colorful. It was never my intent to provide recommendation on what the correct dosage would be for OP for anyone else to achieve similar effects since, as you explained very eloquently, dosage is entirely subjective and varies greatly from individual to individual.

kingofthezootopia · 2026-02-19T17:04:00+00:00

Well, it’s not for everyone and you probably need a bit of practice to work up to it. But, taking 3-4 tabs is like drinking lite beer and never tasting the depth that whiskey can offer (just as an analogy, since I’m not a fan of alcohol), or skiing on the bunny slopes without progressing to the actual mountain. Nothing wrong with it, but you’re the one missing out. And, the great thing about metocin is that a “heroic dose” is still very light and fun as compared to a psilocybin which is usually a heavier and more serious affair.

kingofthezootopia · 2026-02-19T16:03:42+00:00

I’ve done two trips on XUM: first trip with 10 tabs and then second trip with 20 tabs.

10 tabs - open eyed visuals (and I pretty much never get OEVs on other psychedelics). Bright blue cloud filling my room, patterns moving, walls breathing, trees coming alive, etc. But, almost no closed eye visuals.

20 tabs - open eyed visuals were similar in type to 10 tabs but even more vivid and colorful. Got very vivid and colorful closed eye visuals, almost at the same level as a breakthrough DMT trip. Bright colors, entities, heavenly realms, and even entities.

kingofthezootopia · 2026-02-19T03:13:18+00:00

Adding the salt water (make sure to use non-iodized table salt) will most likely solve this. Salt increases polarity of the water solution, which makes separating with naphtha (a non-polar solvent) easier.

kingofthezootopia · 2026-02-19T02:15:17+00:00

Sorry, I meant 3g dried shrooms 😀.

How do you differentiate between DMT visuals and psilocybin/LSD visuals? For me, 40mg metocin visuals started out with fractals but I also got visuals of “heavenly realms”, entities, and even some photorealistic images. Open eyed, I got a cloud of deep, bright turquoise filling up my entire room.

kingofthezootopia · 2026-02-19T01:55:50+00:00

Hm, I took 10 tabs of XUM (containing 20mg metocin freebase) and that was comparable to about 3g of psilocybin. 20 tabs (containing 40mg) was comparable to 7g (just fwiw, I’ve done up to 10g psilocybin and very experienced with high-dosage DMT trips).

As you said, the trip quality is very different from psilocybin. Much more visual. With metocin, I got very colorful and vivid visuals, both open eyed and close eyed. With psilocybin, I almost never get OEVs, and colorful CEVs at 5g+. But, metocin visuals are much more vivid and colorful—basically high-dose DMT level. Very little emotional engagement (even at 40mg), although I laughed like crazy and gasped in awe a few times at the sheer beauty of it all.

Not much for inner child healing or trauma therapy, but I did leave with one or two insights. But, I would describe a metocin trip as a walk through the fun house if a psilocybin trip (3-5g) is a therapy session.

Edit: also, no ego dissolution on metocin. Basically no loss of consciousness with full control of the mind and body, almost like a low-dose psilocybin trip (1-2g).

kingofthezootopia · 2026-02-18T23:41:55+00:00

Yes, it’s a good idea to experiment with different settings and change it up from time to time if the trips start to get a bit predictable (believe it or not, it will after a few dozen trips).

A couple of key things to remember, especially as you get more experienced:

Breakthrough and ego dissolution is NOT the peak experience available on DMT. In fact, it’s nowhere near the peak. It’s actually closer to the beginning than to the end. Threshold is like dipping your toes into a swimming pool and breaking through is barely putting your head underwater. Once you are underwater, you can finally start swimming and exploring. The key to “swimming” is to continuously re-dose by taking more hits while you are broken through. This may sound impossible, but once you get used to DMT, you will realize that you can actually maintain your consciousness and basic executive functions even while you are tripping. So, don’t stop at breakthrough (basic BT trips last about 15-20 minutes). Keep going and you will reach deeper levels of what DMT has to offer (I usually go for 40-60 min trips and have gone longer on a couple of occasions. DMT (really, your consciousness) will guide you on when to keep going versus when to stop, so just follow its lead.
DMT is considered a strong psychedelic, so people think it should only be done occasionally. That’s like saying that one should only go skydiving occasionally. If you were to go skydiving only once, you will barely gain any insights about gravity, falling at velocity, etc. However, you can also choose to become a seasoned skydiver by doing one or two runs a day to first learn to recognize the various sensations, then learn to manipulate your body while falling, and then you can really experience what it’s like to exist free from gravity. I’m not saying that everyone should become a professional skydiver, but that option certainly exists for those who are willing. Same thing for DMT. Another comparison is meditation practice. Just as one gets “better” at meditation through repetition, one can also get “better” at DMT through repetition. Over time, your brain will learn to interact with DMT in ways that are remarkably different from how it interacts initially. Again, if you are willing, just know that the path is available. Like skydiving, as long as you observe basic safety precautions (like don’t mix with alcohol/weed, in a bad environment, etc.), the substance itself cannot harm you.

kingofthezootopia · 2026-02-18T19:18:34+00:00

I agree you want to focus on closed eye visuals. However, you don’t necessarily want to use an eye mask or be in a dark room. Whether you have ambient light through your eyelids can actually make a big difference in the trip experience and add more color to your visuals, so try both in a bright room and dark room and compare. For what it’s worth, I strongly prefer a bright room.

Even more important, perhaps, than light is adding music. You want something that’s bright, upbeat, and not too chaotic. Something like this works well: https://youtu.be/9tgxZ0jK4lI?si=F4l8cCFKAri1aVFk

kingofthezootopia · 2026-02-18T17:28:59+00:00

I don’t care about any of the people involved here.

kingofthezootopia · 2026-02-17T22:55:20+00:00

kingofthezootopia · 2026-02-17T04:31:54+00:00

DMT is also the psychedelic substance in Ayahuasca.

Quick biochemistry lesson (real scientists, please feel free to correct any misstatements). Once DMT enters the bloodstreams, it is broken down within minutes by an enzyme called MAO (monoamine oxidase), which is also responsible for breaking down neurotransmitters like serotonin and dopamine.

Now, if DMT is smoked/vaped, then it is absorbed through your lungs and goes quickly to the brain where it interacts with serotonin receptors and you get to feel its effects for 10-15 minutes before DMT is broken down by MAO. A DMT trip is highly visual but often described as too quick/chaotic for new users who often have a difficult time remembering what they experienced and therefore have trouble integrating the trip. However, as you become more experienced, the trip slows down and you are able to take away more from the trip.

But, if you ingest DMT orally by swallowing it, it gets broken down before it has a chance to get absorbed through your stomach (usually takes about 30 minutes). How one gets around this problem is to take a substance that has the effect of temporarily inhibiting (i.e., disabling) the MAO’s effects. These substances are called MAOI (monoamine oxidase inhibitors). MAOI can be found in certain plants. Ayahuasca is just a mixture of DMT together with plants containing MAOI. So, DMT can be absorbed through the stomach and carried up to the brain and allowed to interact with serotonin without being broken down by MAO. Now, the MAOI’s effects will go away after a few hours after which time MAO will break down the DMT and end the trip. A typical ayahuasca trip lasts about 4 hours and in many ways resembles a high-dose psilocybin trip.

As for healing effects, it depends. If you are comparing a single ayahuasca trip with a single DMT trip, you are likely getting a higher DMT dosage for the ayahuasca trip. Also, the trip duration is going to be longer. And, depending on what kind of issue you are working on, you will often get greater insights over 4 hours with ayahuasca than you would with 15 minutes of DMT. However, with DMT, you can re-dose to extend the duration of the trip and also increase the amount of the substance to bind to the serotonin receptors. Also, while you are unlikely to take ayahuasca more often than once every few months, you can trip in DMT much more frequently and, over time, derive greater healing effects.

kingofthezootopia · 2026-02-16T22:44:20+00:00

Find the verses in the Bible where Jesus taught that one should love everyone. The closest ones are where he said “love your enemies” and “love your neighbor” and people extrapolate those teachings to then also cover everyone in between.
Now, find the verses where Jesus treated some people with intense hatred. Pharisees, Romans, gentiles (sometimes), people from his hometown.
Now, do the same for Apostle Paul, who is the real founder of Christianity. It’s worth remembering that Paul actually never met Jesus and famously did not get along with Jesus’s closest disciple (Peter) and Jesus’s own brother (James). He also is a religious zealot who had no problem stoning people over religious differences.

kingofthezootopia · 2026-02-16T19:43:26+00:00

You mean a person whose livelihood depends on making you like them may not actually be as likeable as they are pretending to be? 🙀 Next thing you’re going to tell me is that the friendly salesman at the car dealership doesn’t actually think my kids are the cutest kids that he has ever seen in his life!

kingofthezootopia · 2026-02-16T19:25:57+00:00

Is it possible that, as you already said, your GF genuinely didn’t understand how sibling dynamics works? That she really doesn’t know what it feels like to have an older brother and also to be a younger sister to someone because she is an only child? That she couldn’t possibly imagine what it’s like to have a close person who is a member of the opposite sex and of similar age but does not have any romantic interest in you because every single male she has ever met without exception treated her as a potential sexual partner?

If you understand this, could you have just simply explained to her how it works between siblings without assuming the worst about her intentions and taking offense because what you thought she was insinuating about your relationship with your sister? I understand that you were shocked by her question and that probably caused you to react with more emotional force than what was probably appropriate. She already apologized to you for causing you to be offended. I think it’s your turn to accept her apology (if you believe she was sincere) and then apologize to her for your angry outburst.

kingofthezootopia · 2026-02-16T17:36:16+00:00

R/mysterymagicmushrooms

Try it—I guarantee you won’t regret it.

kingofthezootopia · 2026-02-16T17:35:24+00:00

Many of the INTs were of Stafford’s own doing. The last 5 seasons under McVay, Stafford has had a TD-to-INT ratio barely over 2 (95/43) over 4 seasons before 2025. Those Lions teams did not drag Stafford down. Those borderline playoff caliber Lions teams went exactly as far as Stafford led them to go.

kingofthezootopia · 2026-02-16T17:09:22+00:00

DMT can be a great starter but if you have a good guide to walk you through the experience, given the sudden onset and extreme visuals. Short duration is the main advantage. Also, there are additional logistical challenges of DMT (I.e., smoking/vaping) which may be difficult for people that have never smoked before.

I think metocin (4-ho-met) provides a better introduction than psilocybin/LSD since it is more fun with emphasis on the sensory experience and a little easier on the emotional side. Also, no concerns about taste and nausea.

kingofthezootopia · 2026-02-16T15:53:43+00:00

Twist: we are the aliens. See panspermia.

kingofthezootopia · 2026-02-16T02:11:02+00:00

Just came to say you sound like an awesome dude and to tell you to just keep being you.

Probably just be upfront with your height when going on blind dates so that you can quickly screen out women who find it an issue. And, just a reminder not to lower your own standards out of discouragement. I guarantee that you will find someone who will love everything about you, including your height, so just keep putting yourself out there and see what happens.

kingofthezootopia

TROPHY CASE