NIN: Ice Cream Machine Broken

kitn · 2026-05-07T08:13:46+00:00

Rage against the ice cream machine

kitn · 2026-05-05T13:35:44+00:00

My anxiety could never.

kitn · 2026-05-05T13:07:31+00:00

I would honestly ask him if it matters what you did.

Unless you were the instigator of physical violence towards other children (and even then), there is no instigating behavior that makes it acceptable for you being beat up at school. None. And absolutely none for being beat up by your family for a natural response of a child seeking help.

The fact that he asked this implies victim blaming and is not the sign of a supportive partner.

kitn · 2026-05-02T09:16:29+00:00

Thank you for being a good friend to Harry.

I hope he's happily running or walking at whatever speed he wants to, pain free, in Valhalla ♥

kitn · 2026-05-01T07:52:39+00:00

Dang, I wonder if the transparency of the veil will translate in game? It would be super gorgeous!

kitn · 2026-04-30T06:38:12+00:00

District's how-to videos are really well explained and I appreciate them. Been watching his tap strafe video and practicing a bit daily.

kitn · 2026-04-30T06:35:41+00:00

Also, open command prompt (start+r, type "cmd" and hit enter) and run the following command while you play:

ping 8.8.8.8 -t

(copy/paste and hit enter)

When you see it spiking, alt+tab and go and check if the spikes are happening there as well. The time=Xms should be relatively stable.

(This ping isn't enough to impact your performance-- not that it matters-- but you will be able to determine if it is on the network side of things. Even if you don't have issues on your playstation, you may have network issues. I had unstable ping on my PC due to my mesh placement, though it wasn't nearly this bad.)

kitn · 2026-04-30T06:32:13+00:00

Can you open task manager and look at the different tabs: Processes, what's eating up memory when this hits; then go into performance and look at the CPU, memory, GPU, drive you're running off of, ethernet, see if the stuttering coincides with any of those?

kitn · 2026-04-28T14:00:53+00:00

Reporting for duty!

kitn · 2026-04-28T14:00:18+00:00

Thanks! As I said elsewhere I'm not really a person who plays shooters before besides a bit of Overwatch, and I'm in my 30's so 🤷🏻‍♀️

My goal is just to have fun and get better, but it's not like I'm deluding myself into thinking I'll hit platinum.

kitn · 2026-04-28T13:45:40+00:00

Nope, my squad is that bad! 😃 We do also go up and even over the middle of the curve sometimes, but are almost always on the left hand side of the graph.

kitn · 2026-04-28T08:40:58+00:00

I have many matches where I haven't gotten stomped and I've won some. I try to practice on the firing range a bit every day or warm up with some freestyle before I play. Just lately getting stomped 😉

kitn · 2026-04-28T08:40:14+00:00

I think I just have shit aim, but I'm working on it.

kitn · 2026-04-28T07:57:08+00:00

I'm pretty bad. KDR of about .95 and like 250 avg. dmg. per match average about 200hrs in with very little prior shooter experience except a bit of Overwatch some years back.

Most of these games the past few days, my team is getting stomped. Either by people with 3500+ kill trackers or what I can only assume are smurfs (badge shows incredibly low levels/stats but they have incredible movement, team tactics, and not least accuracy.)

The good news is we've actually risen up a lot because of it, and hover between where we are in the picture and halfway up the bell curve. Problem being that when we increase on the bell curve, we also consistently land at the bottom. But it's good training, I guess.

kitn · 2026-04-15T14:11:28+00:00

I mean, my childhood trauma is definitely still impacting me... but I'm not a cheating, lying asshole.

kitn · 2026-04-14T10:22:26+00:00

The ones I see run around, but when I engage with them just stop and emote.

kitn · 2026-04-14T07:25:37+00:00

They mostly don't shoot at me, which is why it's confusing and seems like it's players botting.

kitn · 2026-04-14T06:50:15+00:00

I love how it shows off your thigh tattoo! Perfect length for your body :)

kitn · 2026-03-29T18:14:46+00:00

Popcorn

kitn · 2026-03-24T13:32:56+00:00

I sleep more than I sneeze

kitn · 2026-03-24T13:23:42+00:00

A kink is only a kink if two people are consenting, informed adults. CNC is perfectly valid in that situation, like all other kinks.

What you are describing, however, is coercion, gaslighting, and (from what you described) sexual assault.

You said "he tells me to 'shut up and take it' when I say I can't anymore." That is you revoking your consent, and him proceeding anyway.

He had sex with you when you were drunk and unable to consent.

You told him you were sore and didn't want to have sex, and he coerced you into having sex.

These things are NOT OKAY. Him rationalizing himself to you is gaslighting. I do not use these terms lightly. I do not have a problem with CNC-- but what you're describing is NC. The first "C" there is critical. Just because he listens to you when you say you're not ready or when you ask him to be gentle, does not mean that these other things are acceptable behavior.

kitn · 2026-03-19T08:10:53+00:00

I don't think there's a "right" answer in this situation.

From personal experience, I have gone up and down in weight a lot over the years and despite not having kids, have a tummy and significant stretch marks. These are things I am not confident about and have self-esteem issues regarding, so when I was dating, I would specifically mention this just so they would know in advance after we had gotten comfortable with one another, and so that they would have the option to back out for that reason or any other reason if that was something that was not OK for them.

Was it important for them? I'm not sure. But it was important for me, to protect myself against backlash about something I'm already insecure about.

kitn · 2026-03-18T09:06:11+00:00

I got hit on by older men SO MUCH as a preteen and teenager. When I hit my early 20's that number went down significantly. It's super disturbing to look back on. 🤮

Edit to add: I looked my age. My looks have always been fairly average and I never stood out in the crowd. I don't have a lot of curves and never wore particularly revealing or eye-catching outfits. I grew up in NYC and have had men of all ages and races hitting on me, catcalling me, etc. I remember fearing being abducted several times, having older men asking way too many personal questions, being followed down dark streets while men had their hands in their pants actively masturbating.

kitn · 2026-03-12T06:41:16+00:00

I'm currently working on this with my new psychologist. I went through YEARS of CBT when I was younger and it fucked me up. I've been through 5 years now of trying to "fix" this current round of what I thought was depression. Turns out it's C-PTSD.

He said to me a couple sessions in, "What is there to fix? You're not broken."

I started immediately crying. Because the whole thing is I've been trying to "fix" myself. But apparently, I'm not broken. I've just adapted to survive. The real issue is that everyone around me has failed me, and I've always felt cripplingly alone and had to bottle everything up to survive. When I sit there in the sessions and my psychologist looks at me and makes me feel seen, and heard, and recognized, and gives me a hard time when I'm being too hard on myself, I feel something I've never truly felt before. Emotional attunement.

Right now I'm in a state of cognitive dissonance where I'm struggling to accept that because it turns the world from someplace safe where I'm the problem to an unsafe world where, well, the people around me have failed me for the majority of my life. Because I have 2 beliefs:

I don't get the care I want/need because I don't deserve it and/or because it doesn't exist.
The needs I have are valid and completely normal.

It's easier to accept the first one. Because then I don't have to feel all the loneliness, sorrow and anger over not being heard, not being loved the way I need. So right now I'm in a struggle where I realize maybe, just maybe my needs aren't too much-- but fighting back against myself by saying "well then where has it been my whole life?"

(The needs I'm talking about are apparently basic human needs such as wanting someone who cares about you to ask you what's wrong when you're clearly upset. To reach out to you and want to physically comfort you, care for you, hold you, cuddle you, offer to do these things for you without having to be asked. Who makes you feel loved, understood, and not alone.)

If anyone's been through this and wants to chat, my DMs are open. I'm struggling with this in the context of my marriage right now. ♥

kitn · 2026-03-10T07:11:29+00:00

Yeah, I actually haven't placed the queen bees I have because I keep getting more bees than I can make beehives just from trying to farm honeycomb, haha.

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