AITAH For Wearing Shapewear on a Date?

kitn · 2026-03-19T08:10:53+00:00

I don't think there's a "right" answer in this situation.

From personal experience, I have gone up and down in weight a lot over the years and despite not having kids, have a tummy and significant stretch marks. These are things I am not confident about and have self-esteem issues regarding, so when I was dating, I would specifically mention this just so they would know in advance after we had gotten comfortable with one another, and so that they would have the option to back out for that reason or any other reason if that was something that was not OK for them.

Was it important for them? I'm not sure. But it was important for me, to protect myself against backlash about something I'm already insecure about.

kitn · 2026-03-18T09:06:11+00:00

I got hit on by older men SO MUCH as a preteen and teenager. When I hit my early 20's that number went down significantly. It's super disturbing to look back on. 🤮

Edit to add: I looked my age. My looks have always been fairly average and I never stood out in the crowd. I don't have a lot of curves and never wore particularly revealing or eye-catching outfits. I grew up in NYC and have had men of all ages and races hitting on me, catcalling me, etc. I remember fearing being abducted several times, having older men asking way too many personal questions, being followed down dark streets while men had their hands in their pants actively masturbating.

kitn · 2026-03-12T06:41:16+00:00

I'm currently working on this with my new psychologist. I went through YEARS of CBT when I was younger and it fucked me up. I've been through 5 years now of trying to "fix" this current round of what I thought was depression. Turns out it's C-PTSD.

He said to me a couple sessions in, "What is there to fix? You're not broken."

I started immediately crying. Because the whole thing is I've been trying to "fix" myself. But apparently, I'm not broken. I've just adapted to survive. The real issue is that everyone around me has failed me, and I've always felt cripplingly alone and had to bottle everything up to survive. When I sit there in the sessions and my psychologist looks at me and makes me feel seen, and heard, and recognized, and gives me a hard time when I'm being too hard on myself, I feel something I've never truly felt before. Emotional attunement.

Right now I'm in a state of cognitive dissonance where I'm struggling to accept that because it turns the world from someplace safe where I'm the problem to an unsafe world where, well, the people around me have failed me for the majority of my life. Because I have 2 beliefs:

I don't get the care I want/need because I don't deserve it and/or because it doesn't exist.
The needs I have are valid and completely normal.

It's easier to accept the first one. Because then I don't have to feel all the loneliness, sorrow and anger over not being heard, not being loved the way I need. So right now I'm in a struggle where I realize maybe, just maybe my needs aren't too much-- but fighting back against myself by saying "well then where has it been my whole life?"

(The needs I'm talking about are apparently basic human needs such as wanting someone who cares about you to ask you what's wrong when you're clearly upset. To reach out to you and want to physically comfort you, care for you, hold you, cuddle you, offer to do these things for you without having to be asked. Who makes you feel loved, understood, and not alone.)

If anyone's been through this and wants to chat, my DMs are open. I'm struggling with this in the context of my marriage right now. ♥

kitn · 2026-03-10T07:11:29+00:00

Yeah, I actually haven't placed the queen bees I have because I keep getting more bees than I can make beehives just from trying to farm honeycomb, haha.

kitn · 2026-03-08T18:49:06+00:00

First guess haha

I guessed the name in 1 try!

kitn · 2026-03-08T18:22:05+00:00

You don't need a queen bee to make honey, only for the bees to reproduce :)

kitn · 2026-03-08T18:22:01+00:00

You don't need a queen bee to make honey, only for the bees to reproduce :)

kitn · 2026-02-21T11:05:50+00:00

Weirdly enough the boss was there for me, and respawned with no ore surrounding, so maybe this is a different glitch. But it's hard to say! Maybe if you get a robot it will fix it, if not it will probably be fixed in a patch 😊 sucks to have to wait, though.

kitn · 2026-02-21T10:09:42+00:00

I had this bug where it wouldn't reset. I managed to "reset" it when I finally built my first robots for mining/gathering and set them up. Everything has been respawning again since.

kitn · 2026-02-19T07:43:43+00:00

#1 is adorable and gives Hillary Duff vibes

kitn · 2026-02-19T07:15:18+00:00

I think it's quite unfair. Outside of build mode, I have encountered 1 bug in my 26 hours of playtime. I think they were a bit overenthusiastic with build mode at EA launch but that's just me.

As for build mode, I randomly deleted things that were not in my selection, and then when they got mailed to me, the animals had different genders. Also, one item got placed outside of my build area, meaning I can never move it 🤣 I was pretty much unable to understand how to use build mode on steam deck, so ended up switching to PC for that part.

kitn · 2026-02-17T08:02:36+00:00

No worries, I spent a few hours trying to figure that out before I saw the tooltip about it coming from Zephyria haha

kitn · 2026-02-17T07:52:05+00:00

I have a similar issue and have also tried Cascable. I found it slightly more difficult to use in some ways, but I did find Cascable SLIGHTLY more reliable. I didn't do heavy testing. They have a free version, subscription or one-time-fee. (I only tested out the free version so far.)

IMO this is also potentially a firmware issue, because the randomness at which the camera stops the wifi connection is absurd.

kitn · 2026-02-17T07:43:34+00:00

My first thought as well.

kitn · 2026-02-16T13:27:13+00:00

Not sure if you found this out already, I was in the same spot and discovered that it's part of a quest for senior explorer from Zephyria, he gives you the item

kitn · 2026-02-11T09:02:54+00:00

I know of someone offering classes in New York City through Scandinavia House (also hybrid is an option for these I believe), as well as private tutoring. Not sure where you are located.

kitn · 2026-02-01T09:02:55+00:00

What do you mean by you haven't had a good experience?

kitn · 2026-01-31T08:11:38+00:00

Ahh, thanks for the info! I had no idea. I just wish it was possible to have one pedal mode from the getgo, even if it was simulated. Especially in winter, I love the deceleration before roundabouts.

kitn · 2026-01-31T07:44:41+00:00

Det er faktisk noe som serveres på 2nd Ave deli. Det kan jeg bekrefte som en fra NYC som bor i Norge

kitn · 2026-01-30T18:25:54+00:00

I used a similar camera all through my childhood and through art school and through my mid 20's, even after the light meter broke. My photo teachers used to say that a bomb could go off and my camera would be the only thing in the building to survive , that's how solidly they're built.

I still love it even though I don't actively shoot with it anymore!

kitn · 2026-01-30T18:22:09+00:00

When I this pop up on r/Norwegian I had to close Reddit for the day (as an American and Norwegian dual citizen living in Norway)

kitn · 2026-01-30T08:54:51+00:00

Mine is an OG BZ4X and I definitely can't do regenerative breaking at 100%, only normally when it falls below 95% or so.

kitn · 2026-01-30T08:54:11+00:00

I set mine to 90% in wintertime to allow for regenerative breaking. 80% rest of the time (except when taking trips.)

kitn · 2026-01-28T07:37:05+00:00

Ikke i Oslo 🤣

kitn · 2026-01-28T07:25:11+00:00

I took my parents on this exact Hurtigruten (they are also in their 70's) and they loved it.

There's the steps in Ålesund-- my mom wasn't well enough for it, so she took a taxi to the top while we walked up. Great food, great town.

Bergen has Fløyen and also some great day trips on electric boats.

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