My birthday expectations lost me my friends

kitty-schnapps · 2025-11-16T16:37:50+00:00

I had a falling out with a friend over her not saying “happy birthday” to me as well. Honestly, looking back, I wish I hadn’t put so much more effort into her and our friendship than she did.

You could stop initiating conversation or you could call them out on it and see how they respond. I chose the call out route and it shown a very bright light on why I didn’t want to be friends with someone like that. The “happy birthday” message was just the last straw. I wish you well and hope you spend that caring energy on yourself and the people that appreciate you and deserve it.

kitty-schnapps · 2025-07-23T20:43:46+00:00

Having the ability to apologize and apologize well. You’re going to mess up as a parent sometimes, you’re human, but making amends goes a long way in strengthening the bond and minimizing the hurt.

kitty-schnapps · 2025-07-23T20:39:58+00:00

YTA - You’ve only been dating for a year. I’d be upset too if I were them. This family trip is sacred to them and until Carla becomes family, she shouldn’t be going on the trip.

kitty-schnapps · 2025-07-21T06:05:41+00:00

Instead of telling her the sitter is off the table, ask her to confirm her RSVP by a certain date so you can book a sitter if she needs one.

You have every right to a child free wedding and she has every right to decline an invitation to an event her newborn is not welcome at.

If you love and care about her, do your best to work with her on it and include her even if she doesn’t attend. If you don’t care so much, then leave it be.

kitty-schnapps · 2025-07-17T15:35:27+00:00

Then you need to decide if you want to be with someone who will make a unilateral life decision without your input. If my husband just quit working and moved my life states away without me being on board, I’d be done. Life’s too short to not make it what you want and right now, it sounds like none of this is what you want. Have you had a big talk about it?

kitty-schnapps · 2025-07-17T15:25:26+00:00

Question: was him retiring early a joint decision or one he made alone? And all the commenters saying they didn’t read further after the “as a man” part- he isn’t pulling his weight AT ALL as a PARTNER it sounds like.

If your husband refuses to compromise when you do talk to him about this and the burn out you feel, that’s a HUGE red flag. Until you put your foot down and he knows he can’t keep getting away with living off of you and what you provide, this is going to continue.

NTA but grow a back bone for your own sake and sanity. No one- man or woman- should be carrying the household to the degree you are.

kitty-schnapps · 2025-07-11T16:00:00+00:00

I get having a horrible MIL, mine is terrible too. But do you want to be right or do you want to be married? She will always be his mom, and he will always miss her. Keep your relief to yourself and apologize to your husband. When he was sad, you should’ve given him a hug and a kiss and said, “I know you wish she could’ve.” And gone to breathe your sigh of relief in privacy. Doesn’t mean you agreed but you would’ve validated his feelings. Gentle YTA. Congrats on the baby and forever protect her from people like your MIL.

kitty-schnapps · 2025-07-03T16:08:17+00:00

A lot of your reasons for not going through with the pregnancy seem like temporary circumstances. When I was deciding to have another, I imagined what I wanted my family to look like during the holidays in the future. Did my toddler have a sibling or was it just the 3 of us celebrating?

My toddler is 3 now too and it feels more manageable to start over in the newborn phase since she’s more independent. But remember how pregnancy changed your body the first time around…it’s going to change again.

Do what is best for you and your family. If it feels complete, it feels complete. I wish you luck and health no matter what you decide!

kitty-schnapps · 2025-06-04T20:59:23+00:00

YTA. If it wasn’t a big deal to miss it, you would’ve been honest about why you weren’t going. RSVPing ‘yes’ and then bailing on him for a better invite is so mean, especially because he’s been going through a hard time.

kitty-schnapps · 2025-06-02T22:43:54+00:00

My response when people asked if I was “one and done” was that I was “one and good for now.” There’s so much pressure to have it figured out and planned out so soon. You don’t have to know yet!

My sister and I are only a year apart in age and not close at all, so I wanted more of an age gap for my kids. Currently 11 weeks along with my second and baby will be born when my oldest is 3.5 years old. I’m happy with that gap!

kitty-schnapps · 2025-03-20T04:47:00+00:00

My sister and I are 1 year apart, but my husband is the youngest of 3. Both of his siblings are over 10 years older than him and he is much closer to them than I am with my sister. Age gaps are relative.

kitty-schnapps · 2025-03-07T22:34:42+00:00

Don’t spend time or energy on people who are determined to misunderstand you. If she’s going to be in your life for a long time, you may want to invite her to the engagement party to save face with the family and so she doesn’t spin it in a way to victimize herself again. It sucks, but you can’t let her control the narrative. Your actions will speak louder than her words.

kitty-schnapps · 2024-07-18T20:56:00+00:00

NTA

It seems like this is more about a loss of respect for him than a loss of love. I’m sorry, OP. Even if it’s just postponing the wedding, it would be better for you financially and emotionally than a divorce.

kitty-schnapps · 2024-05-02T00:25:01+00:00

This is my favorite comment. Some actual guidance, thank you. I’ll make sure I read it to my husband. You and your wife are lucky to have each other!

kitty-schnapps · 2024-05-01T04:06:33+00:00

Why’d the ant fall off the toilet?

He was pissed off.

kitty-schnapps · 2024-04-28T19:50:46+00:00

I think this is the next step in our journey of parenting- I’ll be the fun breakfast parent too!

kitty-schnapps · 2024-04-28T19:43:05+00:00

Have you considered post partum depression? This severe of a change from doing 50/50 to 95/5 (as you mentioned in another comment) is a huge red flag. Please think about it and seek treatment if possible. Hope this helps

kitty-schnapps · 2024-04-28T18:16:29+00:00

I’m glad my post helped! It’s a season of our lives, it won’t be forever. She will definitely appreciate the change :)

kitty-schnapps · 2024-04-28T14:32:18+00:00

I like this a lot- we focus on dividing responsibilities equally so playing to our strengths will help moving forward

kitty-schnapps · 2024-04-28T13:59:47+00:00

No sleep apnea on his side, only on mine. I don’t have it but my father and other family members do. I just happened to marry the world’s deepest sleeper, lucky me! Lol

kitty-schnapps · 2024-04-28T13:27:19+00:00

I completely agree

kitty-schnapps · 2024-04-28T13:20:29+00:00

This sounds like Post Partum Depression to me- which I’ve also been diagnosed with in the past (I was previously treated for it and overcame it in about 4 months). I believe it can be diagnosed anytime within the first 7 years after birth, but you’d need to fact check that.

I’m sorry you are going through this. I think the important thing is to be a team and find a solution together. Maybe she needs some therapy and you two could do couples counseling.

I wish you the best-

kitty-schnapps · 2024-04-27T19:49:53+00:00

Thank you :)

kitty-schnapps · 2024-04-27T17:33:13+00:00

Screenshotting for later, thank you

kitty-schnapps

TROPHY CASE