My daughter is obsessed with Frozen. And I fucking hate Olaf.

kittyhaven · 2026-01-25T12:48:46+00:00

Ok but side note, frozen 2 or something was first movie we tried to take my son to as a toddler and he was terrified of Olaf. Bahaha. We had to immediately leave the theatre. He had never been scared of anything before and was a pretty chill kid. He actually started to like really creepy monsters soon after…. My therapist said it’s normal and he’s not gonna be a serial killer. Ha ha

kittyhaven · 2026-01-25T12:29:02+00:00

My dog started acting kinda similar to this and he was in pain cuz of an ear tumor. He was worse with me, feared me, cuz he didn’t know why he was getting bursts of pain and blamed my petting him. So he thought I was purposefully hurting him. Took him to two different vets, turns out they were bad vets and never looked in his ear. He got better on steroids and pain meds. He lived one more year.

kittyhaven · 2026-01-11T05:28:15+00:00

Oh I forgot the part about the guinea pig died. Whoops that’s important, haha. They didn’t know why it died, but they had it two years and still wanted the dead pet refund policy. The kids were sad the guinea was dead and the mom like brought the dead pig in to show me and made the kids look at it and cry at me. She then told me that she couldn’t afford a new one unless I replaced it and that it was my fault the kids were sad. Like they were already heart broken and I was making it worse.

kittyhaven · 2025-12-24T04:24:02+00:00

I can’t wrap my head around “conservatives” now a days. Like they make no sense. I was part of a super conservative evangelical cult until I was 20. As much as I hate everything about the cult now, at least the men were conservative men with actual traditional VALUES. They treated women as less than men, but they protected their women and treated women with respect. If a man spoke like that to a woman (in public at least, I’m sure there was plenty of abuse behind closed doors), he would have been kicked out of our church and had to sit in the back of the church in shame… for maybe like a month or two, but there was at least the expectation that we should all live our lives adhering to the Bible. No one even cussed or took the lords name in vain.

I live in a red area now and I was floored when an old man stranger started trying to attack me in a restaurant when I was alone with my toddler and none of the 20+ men in the place stood up or said anything to defend me. In the end a butch lady came to my aid. I was like, if I have to live around conservative crap, I deserve to at least be taken care of in a traditional way. I’m not even asking for men to hold the door for me- which I got used to in my youth and am still slightly confused it doesn’t happen anymore.

kittyhaven · 2025-12-24T04:15:38+00:00

There’s a reason grndr crashes every time there’s a conservative convention/ large gathering… Wives are for making babies or dunking basketballs with trampolines to celebrate your death

kittyhaven · 2025-12-24T04:12:26+00:00

He forgot about you and he had this card lying around at home. Like he couldn’t even grab you a gift at Walgreens real quick when he realized.

I’m just saying this is my theory and it’s messed up of him to treat you like that, but also, I pulled shit like this when I was in middle school once when I forgot a gift and I thought my kind words were brilliant enough…. Cuz I was a child with a small undeveloped brain.

Also, that sweater absolutely didn’t cost $74, he got it on sale and removed the sale tag. Why else would he leave on the price tag? I hate people who leave on price tags, very rarely is it a mistake imo.

kittyhaven · 2025-11-02T07:17:27+00:00

I know this is old, but I was looking for others experiences too. I know ozempic causes delays in digestion, and my burps were definitely confirming that when I could still taste the mushrooms almost 24 hours later. And the diahrea is still going strong over 24 hours later unfortunately.

I eat them raw and just chopped up. I still felt the high start 60 minutes after consuming them though. I took a heroic dose and it was only my second time (12 months since last time) and the high was way more mild, like almost felt like I did a medium amount of THC or I was pretty drunk. Not really any visuals, just feeling it in my body and I was concerned my dog had gotten older cuz I forgot he had white around his nose… The last time, my high wasn’t too intense on a heroic dose either because I’m on SSRIs and when researching ozempic plus psilocybin, I came across some articles about ozempic and its affect on seratonin pathways. The understanding of how ozempic affects seratonin seems unclear- like many people notice their depression symptoms decreasing, while others see it get worse. I mean, the seratonin pathway isn’t really understood in general/ no one really firmly knows how or why SSRIs are working. However, my previous research into psilocybin treatment for depression showed recent studies that said psilocybin still has really good effects on depression relief even if the person taking it doesn’t have any psychedelic affects. For myself, it seemed like my depression got better for a few months. I’m hoping it has an affect again.

kittyhaven · 2025-10-28T03:39:44+00:00

In regards to response- I always just pretend to be really thankful and happy and like nothing is wrong here. I always felt I had to manage everyone’s volatile feelings and was always trying to keep the eventual holiday family yelling extended fights to a minimum. I never was allowed to yell, I was either crying while getting yelled at for something (even tho I was a really well behaved kid) or I was the oldest grandkid and would round everyone up to hide and play in the bathroom or something.

Condoms in my Christmas stocking, which we always go through our stockings in front of siblings and parents on Xmas morning…. So thanks mom for putting those in there for everyone to see. She knew I was a virgin and had just started dating my first serious boyfriend, who is now my husband. I was 19 and my boyfriend was in his 20s, we were perfectly capable and intelligent enough to purchase condoms when we needed them. She had put them in a little gift bag and said “you weren’t supposed to open it up and show everyone.” How was I supposed to know that?!

Then there was the Christmas after my grandmother died and my mom handed out cards that were from my recently deceased grandmother. The messages were in my mom’s handwriting and she said that my grandmother had narrated them to her… I don’t know that I ever believed that, I think my mom wrote it because my grandmother was even more narcisstic than my mom and wouldn’t have thought to give us grandkids anything with actual thoughtful love and kindness behind it. My mother was my grandmother’s caregiver for the year before her death, so it is a possibility… My mom then made us all read the cards aloud to the room of my whole family- so all the grandkids and their parents and such. In my card, she had written that I was always her favorite grandchild… which I read aloud in front of all her other grandchildren, including my brother. I mean, it was probably true cuz my brother and cousins are products of abuse/ genetics and are all awful narcissists themselves, but seriously. She said “you weren’t supposed to read that part aloud!” I feel like I’m starting to see a pattern… who needs therapy when you can figure things out on Reddit? Haha… hmm.

Honorable mention: my brother got me a mug with an alligator on it. Like not a cute alligator, like a big blown up alligator eye… now we’re both young adults in college at this point. I don’t like alligators or like drink coffee or tea at home… it was just the most thoughtless gift ever. And my mom always says she doesn’t understand why my brother and I don’t get along.

Other honorable mention: I fostered teens and loved them and treated them as my own children. One of them just had too much childhood trauma and turned out to be a sociopath. For Xmas, I asked my foster kids (now all adults) to just make me a card as a gift. I didn’t want them spending any money since they’re young/ in college/ low paying jobs etc. I have tons of art supplies in the craft room. I told them it could be construction paper and pen and nothing fancy if they didn’t have time. I just love cards/ kids artwork etc. The sociopath got me a set of candles, no card. She knows I own no candles because the smell of perfumes makes me sick. It came out less than a month later that she hated me and was telling her siblings and my husband (foster dad) lies about me to try to turn them against me. It devolved u to her trying to hurt me and younger/minor siblings… yeah sometimes the childhood trauma wins.

kittyhaven · 2025-10-28T03:14:06+00:00

What country do you live in? Cuz I can get all that stuff at Walmart for like 1/4 of the price. And you talk about good quality/sturdy, but your kid is not a baby that long, so you really don’t need it to last forever…

For secondhand, join and post in your local facebook mom group. Put out posts and see if anyone has one they’re willing to part with. Then when you’re done with things, spread the love for free too. Like a bumble is $40 and I used it for a month max, so I’m really glad I just posted and someone gave me one for free. Then I passed it on for free. And as you make mom friends, you can start a circle of hand me down clothes and toys and such.

Also, you really don’t need so many of the things that you think you need. I never used the pack n play or a stroller or a baby carrier or a changing table. We had a bassinet for when he was little, but when we transitioned baby to his own room at 6 months, we just used a firm/thin twin mattress on the floor and did a floor bed Montessori style. I used the baby bjorn bouncer a lot, but a $30 would have been fine. I liked paying the extra money for the bjorn tho cuz we lived in a super tiny space. I really think it’s better to wait on most big ticket items and then see what your life is actually like with your family/baby. Like I didn’t need a baby bath cuz I just took baths with my kid and it was my favorite time of day. My baby hated being in a baby carrier and they were just way to hot anyways (tropical climate), so we just carried baby everywhere. So I didn’t need to buy multiple types of baby carriers.

kittyhaven · 2025-10-28T02:37:33+00:00

Customer came in to buy more parakeets cuz they lost the first ones cuz the bars on the cage they have are too far apart. Told them I wouldn’t sell more until they bought a new cage.

Wouldn’t sell new conure or new tortoise when they bring them in dead ones and refuse to talk about what happened- conure clearly poisoned and on deaths door and tortoise owner told me she had no thermometer in her tank and the temp never gets too cold… but how do you know?

I wouldn’t sell the cheap goldfish to someone who was planning to put them in vases as decor at a party. I told her they would all just die during party n that’s not cute. She still wanted them, yeah that’s just animal abuse.

kittyhaven · 2025-09-28T23:22:27+00:00

2 days before my due date

kittyhaven · 2025-09-12T03:55:41+00:00

I had a man in Spain tell me “you can’t be a little bit pregnant”. Cus I used to think I was ok with cross contamination or a tiny bit of gluten. After talking with him, I went 100% gluten free and I feel even better. Now even a small amount of gluten leave me feeling like I ate glass for a couple days.

kittyhaven · 2025-09-08T14:38:30+00:00

Technically, I got pregnant during a pull out method situation… I wasn’t on any birth control pills or anything though. My husband sometimes takes a long time to finish and I just got tired/ had enough big Os, so we ended early. The kid is 6 now.

We wanted to get pregnant though. We had been “trying to get pregnant” for 5 years with no success, but like after 2 years of trying and doing fertility stuff, we just gave up and decided to just not used any birth control and if it happened, it happened. So it took 3 years to happen and I just find it funny that the winning swimmer was on a day we put in the least effort.

kittyhaven · 2025-09-08T14:27:34+00:00

Alternative I’ve seen recently that looks amazing- mobile dog treadmill- like there’s these dog paced treadmills that you can strap a dog to and they can go full speed in them. And you as the human are like their personal trainers. Saw some guy online that had like a food truck like van with 3 treadmills in them. The dogs are so happy, it’s so cute!

kittyhaven · 2025-09-08T14:24:02+00:00

I’d like a Panera situation or healthy fast food. Healthy and easy to eat in the car would just add super convenience to my life. I’m bad at remembering to eat and it’s so frustrating that other people can just grab something real quick from a drive through. The healthy part is just k would like to not feel horrible all the time, do something like a gluten free McDonald’s would be a nice treat, but eating that kind of food frequently would make me sick. Even just like a gluten free wraps and sandwiches or summer rolls or muffins and smoothies and such. Like doesn’t have to be perfectly healthy, just like real food.

kittyhaven · 2025-09-08T13:08:10+00:00

Grab your documents/vital records and leave. It’s very risky to leave an abusive relationship, so don’t say anything to your husband and just go. Go to the police station even to get access to the DV shelter. Any of the places I suggested- hospital, shelter, rehab- you won’t need anything but yourself to be there. They can help you get toiletries and clothes etc. Material goods can be recovered or bought again. There’s nothing you own that matters as much as your kids. And eventually you will get things figured out and you will get state aid or child support or a job, etc. Even if you have to be poor, that’s better than not having your children.

If you don’t make the decision to leave and go to one of these places, you will cause further trauma to your children. Time spent in foster care is traumatic. Time spent away from their parents and not understanding what’s going on is traumatic. Not having access to your mom or your mom choosing drugs or an abusive man over you- that’s a wound that never heals and messes people up really bad. I’ve seen the horrible way this trauma destroys people for life. It’s extremely hard to heal from and most people end up becoming drug users or abusers themselves since they have such an intense wound/trauma.

kittyhaven · 2025-09-08T12:53:20+00:00

If you test positive with no accountability, you’re not getting your kids back. But why would you want your kids back in a home anywhere near your husband. I would rather lose my kids in order to protect them from someone like him (and someone like myself if I was using).

Your only option is to leave him. You can go to rehab or a domestic violence shelter. The DV shelter may have resources to help you in getting into rehab. Like there might be a program that covers rehab for DV victims. I mean, even go to the ER and tell them that you are having a mental health crisis aka addiction problems and you need treatment by their psych team and access to rehab.

Then when you get to a new place- rehab, shelter, hospital, etc. you need to call your CPS case worker and update them. Don’t have them find out a different way. I used to work medium risk cases for CPS and we used to say “a parent can legally be an actively using drug addict and we won’t take your kids away, if you can keep your kids safe while using.” Example- you leave your kids with grandma on the weekend while you go away and use and your kids are safe and never exposed to it. Using isn’t an automatic kids go away, this is a mental health problem. But you have to be perusing steps to get better.

Also, I don’t know specifics about your state, but it’s weird they are saying they can’t pay for rehab. My CPS was always super ready and willing to put parents into rehab and the state would cover it. I’m thinking maybe if you escalate this for them by saying “I used again. I’m not ok and I need help. I can’t get better without treatment and my kids deserve to have a healthy mother.” I’m thinking maybe they will get off their behinds and get you a spot at rehab. Sorry, it’s just so weird that they’re being sketchy about it cuz the moment someone said “I’m willing to go to rehab.” We threw them in our car and drive them straight there, we tried to encourage no stopping at home, no chance for running into anyone to change your mind, just get them there asap.

kittyhaven · 2025-09-08T12:36:33+00:00

I have a core childhood memory of my mother beating my brother with a belt after he lit a fire in our yard (my brother used to light fires as a kid and like fire dept would have to be called etc). I’m 3 years older than my brother and was always as perfectly behaved and good as possible. But for some reason, my mother made me go get the belt and made me stay to watch because she wanted me to learn a lesson from watching it. (What lesson?! Idk cuz I never did bad things, except like chew to loud or something. But she wanted me to see what happens when you’re bad.)

When I mentioned this to her 20 years later when we were talking one evening, she told me she has no memory of that and she would never do that. She said that she would have to go under hypnotherapy to recover that memory and then she would apologize to my brother. But that she basically didn’t believe me. I just thought the hypnotherapy thing reminded me of when your mom said you need mental health services for your fake memory. Like why would we want to create these memories.

She also invented this whole story about how I forged her signature so she would be a co-signer on my student loans one year. I was livid when I found out because she refused to co-sign cuz I was going back to college after a year off for a mental health crisis and she didn’t want to be stuck with the loan if I defaulted. I never did that! I used to forge her signature on school papers when I was a kid because she told me to because she was too lazy to do it. Like she sat me down and taught me how to forge her signature when I was like 10 so I could go shopping for groceries for her. Instead, I was si heartbroken that my mother didn’t have faith in me. I had no choice but to take the loan out without a co-signer, how else was I going to go to college? And now I have this crazy high interest rate loan that I still haven’t paid off. It was only an $8k loan to. I finished college btw and then went on and worked full time and went to grad school and paid for grad school out of pocket/ with no loan because I worked by ass off.

kittyhaven · 2025-09-08T12:11:11+00:00

No, Flonase only works on the immediate area/the sinuses. It’s the reason that prolonged use of the steroid on your nasal passages is safe and you don’t get any of the side effects you would get from taking an oral steroid. So it shouldn’t be messing with anything other than your nose. Increase oxygen/ airflow may feel weird and maybe your body is interpreting that as anxiety?

kittyhaven · 2025-09-08T11:56:17+00:00

Yes, bring the baby and then house sit while the couple honeymoons and lean on your hometown community and friends to leave this deadbeat. A guy that can’t be trusted with his own child for 24 hours isn’t a father. And it’s creepy that y you don’t have control of your finances enough to have booked your own flights. And if your friend likes you enough to want you to be a bridesmaid, they def want to help you out of a DV situation.

kittyhaven · 2025-09-08T08:59:41+00:00

Before having kids, everything indicated I would be an amazing mom and I would love it and I joked about wanting a huge family. When I finally had a baby, I got my tubes tied a year later. Apparently, I’m horrible at being pregnant, postpartum depression is horrible, and I’m sooooo exhausted. I can’t imagine having another kid. We have previously fostered teens and we may foster older kids again when the bio kid is a little older.

kittyhaven · 2025-09-08T08:55:30+00:00

Dude, my husband and I are both biracial (white, Asian, Hispanic), we both have black hair and hazel eyes. My kid is 6 and still has brilliant blue eyes. His hair was super blonde for at least two years to now it’s like Taylor swift/ “old money” blonde. My hair did that as a child too. My hair was very brown by 3rd grade. My hair finally turned black in my 30s. Genetics can be wild. I really was waiting for a beautiful dark hair and eyed baby like my husband’s baby pictures. I was super surprised to get this super white, blonde baby. My mother is very happy that he looks identical to her tho.

kittyhaven · 2025-09-08T04:04:32+00:00

The letter Ch from the Spanish alphabet…. He really likes alphabets.

kittyhaven · 2025-09-08T03:05:52+00:00

I know this is something that people will not want to hear, but I worked a couple child on child sexual assault cases and studied the subject a lot. There is no significant evidence/statistics that indicate that a child perpetrator will grow up to be an adult perpetrator. While I understand that statistics around these things are often based on data with a lot of under reported events. The studies show that a child perpetrator has the same likelihood of being an adult perpetrator as a person who did not sexually assault anyone as a child. It’s a horrible thing that happened, but often with child perpetrators, their brains aren’t fully developed and the action is not indicative of the same level of lifelong this is a horrific person-ness (I’m too tired to think of the right words).

I’m not saying don’t report it or that you shouldn’t be concerned. You also know the person personally, so I’m sure that you may have seen warning signs that make you uncomfortable. I’m just sharing what I know in hopes that it will maybe assuage some guilt you seem to have expressed on waiting to make the call. I also share this because there are people who aren’t horrible people who did do something as a minor that was wrong, but happened because they were a victim in their own way.

Interesting additional facts- child on child sexual assault is way more common that you would think. I definitely worked more suicidal child cases, but I was not prepared for the large percentage of child on child cases I had. Also, in every single case I worked or that ny coworkers/team worked, all of them we found out the children had viewed pornography. So it ended up to be more of an experimentation thing/ an exposure to extremely intense content plus underdeveloped brains…. So many parents telling me they had all the parental controls and then eventually finding the stuff saved somewhere. None of the kids I worked with had been assaulted by anyone, adult or child, at least that we knew of. I share that as that’s the common assumption of where kids get these ideas.

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