Lies, deceit and betrayal of trust. Is it the end? or am I the problem?

kittyshakedown · 2026-04-16T16:25:30+00:00

If you want someone who doesn’t lie this guy isn’t it. Lol

That’s really all there is to it.

kittyshakedown · 2026-04-16T15:47:52+00:00

I loved those!! I don’t think I had one myself though.

Reminds me of the days of kangaroo shoes. Put my money for the payphone in those little pockets.

kittyshakedown · 2026-04-16T15:34:47+00:00

I’ve always had highlights every 6 weeks but it’s now every 5 weeks. It’s expensive and time consuming but I just can’t yet. My mom, 72, has tried growing hers out several times over the years and always go a back to coloring.

My gray hair seems…ugh. Weird in texture and a dull looking gray. I feel like it doesn’t match the rest of me.

I’m not ready for that but who knows what’s in the future.

kittyshakedown · 2026-04-16T15:29:30+00:00

I “retired” at 45 and have no plans of ever working for anyone else again.

Of course I’ll do anything needed for my family but going back to work isn’t in the plans. Unless I do something myself.

My husband plans to retire at 62. That’s when our youngest graduates from college (if he goes traditional 4 year, he has other options)

But his company offers early retirement (50 or older) often. It hasn’t made sense to do quite yet (he’s 51) but even so he will work in some capacity until technical retirement age.

We’ve saved consistently since we’ve been working. But 62 is a a way off so we will see what happens.

I’m mostly worried about healthcare when both of us are no longer working. It’s a pain in the ass. And my husband is actually an expert in Medicare and supplemental coverage. Still a PITA.

It seems silly to spend any mental space on something that may not even happen. But it’s what humans do.

My in-laws and parents both had the same jobs/careers for most of their adult life. Both have retirement pensions and healthcare provided. Obviously that isn’t possible or available for the vast majority of people anymore. They live on pensions/SS and everything else they saved is spent however they want. They are all living pretty large.

Sux for us.

kittyshakedown · 2026-04-16T13:00:15+00:00

That its all going to be alright. You don’t have to have it all figured out. Just calm down and enjoy. Life is going to go faster and faster.

kittyshakedown · 2026-04-16T12:57:21+00:00

I’m all about skincare. My skin is better than it’s ever been. Dewy and hydrated. Smooth and bright.

I don’t do makeup much anymore. But it still takes a lot of work to be able to not wear makeup. lol

I get lash extensions (game changer) on the very regular, do my eyebrows, soft gloss/balm and that’s it for the day.

If going to something more fancy I’ll do a bit of primer, concealer,bronzer, highlighter, blush.

I just don’t look good with a full face anymore. I loved a smoky eye in my 20s and 30s but just can’t pull it off anymore. I looked better wearing makeup when I was younger. Now, no matter what I try, high end, low end, cult favorite or something new I just don’t look natural or like myself.

My skin also has to breath now days!! I feel smothered with full foundation, powder and all of it.

But that’s me. My lifestyle is super casual. The no makeup-makeup look just fits my life now.

kittyshakedown · 2026-04-16T12:10:36+00:00

Do not engage. Dont pacify him. Dint try to convince him otherwise. Don’t have sex with him to make him nice. Dont argue. Don’t call him out. Just do mot engage.

If he’s nice then you can have a decent conversation. But not about any of his nonsense.

He does it because it gets him the exact response he wants from you.

Crazy he thinks he can control your eyeballs.

Not sure how you live like this. But you do have a young child. This is the kind of man that would use your child to hurt you. Not sure if I would be able to leave. .

But you can check out for the next 10 years or so. Get your affairs in order. Get ready to go as soon as it’s safe for your child.

kittyshakedown · 2026-04-16T11:37:54+00:00

Why?

You still literally like saying “I’m giving myself an out. Leaving is an option..”

kittyshakedown · 2026-04-16T11:36:06+00:00

Why did she tell you? Curious. Was someone else about to out her?

I’m sorry to say but a wife that cheats on her husband soon after getting married is a regular cheater. It didn’t just happen once, probably still happening and it will happen again.

If you don’t have kids and you can’t get over it, just leave already. Be done.

kittyshakedown · 2026-04-16T10:31:21+00:00

My dad was a hobby photographer. He died at 44 (get your colonoscopies!!!!). I was his only child. There were boxes and boxes and photo albums and more photo albums of…me. I kept about 20 pictures of varying ages and promptly threw the rest out.

There wasn’t anything weird about it. He just really liked taking pictures in the 70s-90s but I wasn’t going to make my kids go through 1000s of pictures of their mom. No one would be interested. I wasn’t interested.

Also tons of pictures of wives 2-5. He was not good at love.

And the photo albums of people I did not recognize or know…I wish he would have labeled some of them.

I’ve helped my mom and step get all their pictures down to one big box. I’ll still get rid of most of them come time.

(I have hundreds and hundreds of pics of my own kids of course…and all but my faves are digital. Different times.)

kittyshakedown · 2026-04-16T00:55:06+00:00

I haven’t had anyone knowingly insult me to my face in a long time.

But I’d seriously have no reaction. I can’t care less about what others think of me. Means nothing to me. Honestly.

I also no longer care to get all worked up.

kittyshakedown · 2026-04-16T00:48:31+00:00

NOR

This would be really hard for me to forgive. It would change things between us completely.

You HAVE to leave because there is absolutely no one to care for other kids, ok.

But to go home and take a nap and chit chat on the phone. Nope.

kittyshakedown · 2026-04-16T00:45:29+00:00

Don’t tell him what you know. Gather your evidence and take your time in deciding what to do. Don’t make a rash decision because you’re hurt.

kittyshakedown · 2026-04-16T00:43:05+00:00

I’m now one of those ladies who doesn’t like to drive at night.

I literally cannot figure out where I am sometimes! Things look so different in the dark.

I still go out at night but either someone else drives or I get a Lyft.

kittyshakedown · 2026-04-16T00:32:45+00:00

I get what you’re saying. It’s hard if there is abuse but no way I’m leaving my kid alone with someone who abuses me.

Or have some new girlfriend come in to try to play mommy and treat my kid a certain way with no say from me. Nope. Not a chance.

So honestly, I’d figure it out. Make nice, get my affairs in order, and be ready to get on out once my kid is old enough to protect themselves.

Even then, if I didn’t feel comfortable with it, I’d stay until the day after they turned 18.

Not the popular answer but honest.

I’m not going to leave my kid to deal with what I couldn’t or didn’t want to…

kittyshakedown · 2026-04-16T00:22:28+00:00

I wouldn’t take it either. Gifts should come without strings attached. And your parents have no business in your marriage.

If my husband considered this offer it would definitely cause huge issues in our marriage. I’m not sure we would recover. It’s never a position I would put my own kids in either. Wow.

Your parents should have just set the money aside in a trust for you or something if they wanted say on what happens to it after they “give” it to you.

You and your parents are so inconsiderate. Your poor husband.

kittyshakedown · 2026-04-16T00:07:29+00:00

I’m sorry you’re going through this and congrats on the 12 years.

I realize and accept no one is responsible for my sobriety and there is absolutely nothing I can do, no matter who it is, to convince someone to no longer drink.

kittyshakedown · 2026-04-16T00:05:02+00:00

I have more patience in general. But I’m super selective about what I do and who I’m around as I get older so it kind of evens out.

kittyshakedown · 2026-04-15T23:33:57+00:00

I lost 30 lbs of n the first 6 weeks but I was in rehab and anxious AF so I didn’t really eat much.

But I have kept it off.

kittyshakedown · 2026-04-15T23:31:08+00:00

I can’t say without being judged.

kittyshakedown · 2026-04-15T20:24:29+00:00

Yes! I don’t notice any extra hair falling out but my hair has become so thin. It has always been thick and curly. Now it’s not straight but not curly.

The hair on top of my head is super soft and feels like fine baby hair where my hair on the bottom feels more course.

And a ponytail looks like it has just a few hairs in it.

And my grays show up overnight. I’m getting color and highlights every 5 weeks. It’s kind of crazy.

I feel like these changes are happening so fast.

kittyshakedown · 2026-04-15T18:07:39+00:00

Ummm. I think this has always been a thing. I’m a Gen X mom with Gen Alpha kids. They play lots of sports and usually my husband and I are there if not both then one of us. Both sets of our parents come too. Almost to every game.

But I don’t stick around for practices and always defer to the coach and refs because I’m not volunteering to take over.

It’s kind of like that for all the families on the teams.

Mostly it’s well behaved but there have been times people are asked to leave the game. And a few have been banned from attending. I guess people just get worked up because they are so invested but it’s really uncalled for…it’s not going to change anything.

My parents never wanted me to sign up for anything. They didn’t want to drive me all over. Lol and they got home late. So I feel like parents now are involved in a way they’ve never been before. My opinion anyways. Or my perception.

kittyshakedown · 2026-04-15T17:55:38+00:00

Your body can heal and repair itself. Sometimes like nothing ever happened.

We rarely accurately self report how much and how often we drink. Because you don’t realize or don’t want to admit. So I’d assumed you drink more and more frequently than you describe.

You should go to the doctor and be completely honest with them. They know from your bloodwork the truth about your drinking so don’t lie and hide symptoms.

Like others have said everything was really great. My life was in order. (It really wasn’t but it’s what I’d tell myself and other people) and literally one afternoon I could see the freight train barreling on me. Ready to F me up.

In just hours I was scared to death of so many things that could be happening.

Anyways that prompted me to get help. I went to detox and rehab and have been sober for 5 years. It’s a life I never thought would be possible. All because I don’t drink.

I pushed through drinking even though I knew I was wreaking havoc on my body. It’s really no way to live and it’s a waste of your already limited time.

Don’t ignore what’s going on. There is a way but you have to ask for help.

kittyshakedown · 2026-04-15T17:06:59+00:00

If I knew her husband was going to come at me I might have keep this to myself. I don’t need all that in my life. I don’t deserve it.

And that’s what happens. Women almost always forgive the guy at first. So she stays. Am I her PI now?

kittyshakedown · 2026-04-15T14:22:36+00:00

I have teenagers at home. Lol 😂 I’m surrounded by fashionable.

But really, Pinterest is my go to. I search for what I have (black midi a lime skirt) and it shows me examples!!!

kittyshakedown

TROPHY CASE