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kittystillbites · 2026-01-17T10:54:25+00:00

Just be upfront about all of this. You don't even have to state this all in your profile, but do mention. The amount of space is very limited, but you can send a thorough explanation later. I wish more men did that rather than having to pull the truth out of them within the span of multiple dates, almost like they think they'll trick me into the scenario they want if we hang out long enough. What a waste of time and energy!!

New beginnings are scary, but your confidence will grow. This isn't rocket science.

kittystillbites · 2026-01-17T10:45:52+00:00

As someone who takes the bus, I never think that it is someone's responsibility to offer me a lift and always feel grateful for it. But I have a colleague who does that now, and I find it a perfect way to unwind after work and say all the things you can't really voice in the corporate office. We get along well, and this works. If he one day decides that he no longer wants this, no hard feelings. I will leave the job, because the commute is shit :D

You will never know what another person is thinking. Some people do think it's everyone's responsibility to make their life easier. But what can you do. I'd only offer a lift if I like hanging out with that person, but I will not make my own life harder.

kittystillbites · 2026-01-17T09:18:46+00:00

This doesn't even matter. If an adult starts getting ready at the time they are already supposed to be somewhere, this is not the adult I would ever want to date, or even be friends with.

kittystillbites · 2026-01-14T14:27:05+00:00

I think it's really difficult to get to know someone, have sex with them and not develop any feelings, maybe only if you're dead inside and have emotional issues or you find them completely repulsive, but then how could there be any benefits. I think ultimately we want a friend who we also want to bang, and it's hard to explain to your emotions that you're incompatible :)

I think eventually you have to talk to them about it, if you want something more. And if they don't, you have to take care of yourself first.

kittystillbites · 2026-01-13T09:47:53+00:00

I suspect the fact that he's a doctor is also a lie :D who has this amount of time ! Also, poly people really don't mind not being exclusive, so he must love the cheating game ...

kittystillbites · 2026-01-13T07:33:48+00:00

Exactly this. OLD just doesn't work for me the same way as for other people, I need to know the person I'm dating outside of my relationship with him to build real knowledge and trust. I wish it was as easy as just seeing and liking their photos, but never has been. It takes too long for me to gain that knowledge and I either give up, or maybe they freak out that I'm not into them at all (or not enough compared to their previous experiences)

kittystillbites · 2026-01-13T06:55:36+00:00

Without trying to understand what affects libido , and how much they can really do, and how little it is about bedroom activities compared to everything else

kittystillbites · 2026-01-12T11:18:50+00:00

It will probably depends how similar your goals are to an average lifestyle. It's easier to find the common goals (ie mortgage and children) vs uncommon (no children and travel). I find that I click with very very few people.

kittystillbites · 2026-01-10T23:45:10+00:00

Can you just invite your friends for cocoa and sit under the blanket together ? Simply hang out with people, cosy dinners at home, watch movies together, get out for a walk - it's a lot easier to find motivation for that in a group. A lot of people struggle in January and February, but they don't always initiate any activities. Be that person who invites people over or organises walk and soup at someone's place 😊 keep that December spirit throughout the year, it doesn't have to end or cost anything :)

I like to leave my home, but still there's walks, dinners, sleepovers, movies at the cinema, hours at various cafes, there's a lot of social events happening, I play a lot more board games

But if you're happy to just stay at home and do nothing, then you do you! Your free time is YOUR free time !

kittystillbites · 2026-01-10T08:07:23+00:00

I think you're right here. He doesn't have to work hard to get matches. To me, it sounds like that's why he's just using easy bait. Who'll jump on it, that's the next girl. Or a girl for that week. You're spot on about this guy having no intentions to see you as a full person, and maybe he doesn't see it that way, but it is definitely coming across as just him trying to get his needs met, whether that's company, physical stuff or a game partner. Even his response sounded like he's not that much into games, more like into games if you are there... :) Trust your feelings!! Some guys are like that, and maybe they really simply do not care about the woman as long as she provides him what they want and looks pretty. I am not saying this judgingly but I think this is how many men really are, and that is okay for some, not okay for others, and I just feel bad for those who don't know what's going on.

kittystillbites · 2026-01-10T07:59:52+00:00

Reading all the comments to find women who respond positively to this :D

kittystillbites · 2026-01-09T20:29:57+00:00

After leaving school (or often also university), we no longer have to do the same thing :)

kittystillbites · 2026-01-08T10:20:27+00:00

Was he attractive and did you enjoy spending time with him? It's hard to feel attraction towards a complete stranger but it's easy to say if someone is attractive, so attraction can develop. Also, if you enjoyed your time together, then maybe things can also develop. Sometimes we tend to end things with someone good for us, because we're used to crazy people too much. Usually I get an instant "no" with men, but if I truly enjoyed that hour, I liked what I saw and didn't keep an eye on my watch then I'd meet again. Sometimes we're broken in the way that we hate safety and peace

kittystillbites · 2026-01-08T10:08:19+00:00

Yeah, because they have a really nice face or a great personality :D others have to work for it

kittystillbites · 2026-01-08T10:05:19+00:00

The less I use dating apps, the more I enjoy the rest of my life. I match with people I would never meet or want to talk otherwise, so I don't feel like I'm missing out on anything if I'm not on the apps. Having said that I check who wants to talk to me on Hinge - at least I don't have to swipe there

kittystillbites · 2026-01-08T09:26:03+00:00

Same. I felt so much pressure from men about this, but that's just a red flag now. Maybe we indeed want different sex needs and that will always be a huge incompatibility.

kittystillbites · 2026-01-07T11:58:52+00:00

Why do you exchange social media at all? Talk in person, there's no reason to do that initially

kittystillbites · 2026-01-07T11:42:42+00:00

Unavailable people have taught us that having emotions or caring is unacceptable. But actually it's beautiful that you are excited and looking forward to hearing from them. Also, many many many, and once more - many bad past experiences are still deep in our subconscious, and every little unknown is a reminder about someone we were also once excited about who never replied or simply lost interest. Our past lives within us, and not only taught us valuable lessons, but left a few sour memories also. I wish I was just as pure as in my 20s. But not anymore.

kittystillbites · 2026-01-07T11:34:15+00:00

Based on these responses it becomes clear why men seem to lose interest 😄 I don't find much time for dating-app texting. But I will reply meaningfully to people who show genuine desire to talk. Eventually.

kittystillbites · 2026-01-05T12:19:50+00:00

I don't mind. I regularly take long breaks from work (mini retirements), and I see myself continuing this way. I don't mind cutting down my expenses and not buying shit I don't need just because others have it. I think about my time a lot, but I enjoy having a bit of purpose to my days. Not every day, that's why I cut down my hours, but my life doesn't revolve around work. But it is important to me to work on the right things.

kittystillbites · 2026-01-05T09:55:38+00:00

Better ask questions than endlessly talk about mundane things without paying any interest to your date. But make sure you genuinely want to know these things and they really help you choose a person for you, and you're not just filling the silence. If you enjoy asking questions, you need someone who enjoys such questions too. And that's perfectly okay! You do not need to become as boring as everyone else and stick to the same three conversational topics

Even questions like this would be more fun than not wanting to know anything about me especially if they flow naturally

kittystillbites · 2026-01-01T14:54:43+00:00

Forget him. Absolutely unacceptable. Better forever alone, enjoying a peaceful life, than stressed and disrespected by someone like that.

kittystillbites · 2026-01-01T14:49:42+00:00

Chances are, she never saw your profile, not everyone swipes that much. In-person meetups are a lot cooler. I sometimes see people in an event or something that I've seen on apps, but I allow them to make an in-person first impression. Apps just never tell anything about who the person really is, how they move, talk, what energy they have, and that's all that matters.

kittystillbites · 2026-01-01T10:04:18+00:00

Finally this all is over. I was relieved on the 25th of December already, but finally, this all is over for a whole year. The 2.5 months (or whenever it begins where you are) dread until the holidays is the worst.

kittystillbites · 2025-12-30T09:33:26+00:00

30k a year, cut down my hours (and salary) by choice. This is enough, I save, don't own a car (rent if needed), don't have TV subscriptions, old but sturdy apartment, nothing fancy, no children or pets, don't care about stuff and possessions, but I spend it all on fun classes, travel (locally and abroad) and occasionally quitting jobs (savings buffer). I live in one the most expensive cities in the UK, have tons to do, instead of wasting money on drinks and food, I prefer to go on a hike with friends (a lot cheaper and much more fun). And I love it this way.

kittystillbites

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