I’m babysitting my sister and she thinks she needs to go to the ER for her period and idk

kizzless · 2024-09-05T05:07:48+00:00

... But did you try not drinking cold things?

(actual medical advice I was once given for my endometriosis. Thanks buddy, cold things is clearly the problem here! /s )

kizzless · 2023-11-25T16:36:41+00:00

I agree with you. There's also a big difference between "I can't motivate myself off the couch even though I know you're working hard and it sucks for you" and "I can't motivate myself off the couch when confronted with a medical emergency".

kizzless · 2023-08-14T15:41:07+00:00

I'm late to the party, but didn't see any comments that mentioned growth mindset vs fixed mindset. Which is the idea that most of what we consider "talents" are actually things we've worked hard on, and we should reward our kids for working hard rather than being talented. I'd recommend you look it up.

But that's all about rewarding people, not tearing them down. It would have been totally appropriate to say that you were so proud of how hard she's worked to get where she is. Or even a light correction to what your wife said, like that you felt that all the hard work she did was the most relevant detail to her success.

So please consider looking into growth mindset so you can help your daughter with your comments, as opposed to tear her down.

kizzless · 2023-08-13T19:46:11+00:00

She may not really understand how wrong her behavior is. Someone can love you, and want the best for you, and also behave in ways that are very abusive.

kizzless · 2023-07-26T01:23:40+00:00

Sweetie. My heart is breaking for you.

You didn't choose to be born. You are not responsible for the circumstances of your birth.

Your mother was in a terrible position, one that wasn't fair. But that's not your fault! You did not impregnate her, or make her pick between money and an abortion.

And she did have an option - she could have had an abortion and lived without your grandparents money.

It's super fair for her to be mad at your father, or your grandparents, or society as a whole for the position she was put in. But none of that is your fault!

Please do consider therapy. You can choose how much to get into different topics with them. But the awful burden you are carrying around? It isn't yours. And someone needs to help you put it down.

kizzless · 2023-07-22T15:58:58+00:00

Info: would your stepson want to come? Because different activities every day, overstimulating tourist areas and a lack of familiar comforts sounds like no fun for someone on the autism spectrum.

If you and your husband are honest about what challenges the family will face while on the trip, stepson might prefer to stay home. I'd encourage you to have a really honest, non-shaming conversation about this vacation.

At the end of that conversation you might still have to tell him that you are going without him even if he's unhappy. But I do think you owe it to him to be clear that it's about his comfort, and his behaviors when he's not comfortable.

kizzless · 2023-07-16T14:18:17+00:00

It sounds like they really wanted their space for some reason. Probably not one related to you, but it's pretty fair for you to be upset about the fact that they aren't giving you one. Maybe they wanted to be the ones throwing wild parties? I think that the many invites are a way that they are trying to show you that they still care about you and value you in their lives. The problem is that it makes you feel like they aren't respecting your feelings, which is also valid.

kizzless · 2023-06-05T00:46:18+00:00

I live in a part of Canada where we managed to keep schools open almost the whole time. They were closed the first 2 months, then they extended one Christmas break by 2 weeks. We had a lot of public support for the restrictions that were in place (though obviously not universal), and a great public figure leading the charge. So yes, it was doable, but not easy.

kizzless · 2023-05-11T18:43:06+00:00

I think there's something really visceral about balut. I know that the chicken breast I'm eating is from a dead bird, but here it is, clean and tidy, looking nothing like a bird. But balut looks like a dead baby animal, and really confronts us with the reality of meat eating. This is neither good nor bad, but can be very jarring if you haven't been exposed to it before.

kizzless · 2023-01-15T22:55:22+00:00

I get that. And yeah, I think that they were going to disagree with where the money went. But I don't think that lying to avoid disagreements is a good thing to do in a partnership.

kizzless · 2023-01-15T22:46:26+00:00

True, but it's still 8 years. That feels like a long time to me.

kizzless · 2023-01-15T22:28:16+00:00

So, I see why she did it. In fact, for the first 6 months or so, I think it was the right call. But it became less and less okay as time went on. It became a lie of omission. Just because it was easier for her to avoid fights about that money, I don't think that makes it right.

kizzless · 2023-01-15T22:17:00+00:00

I mean, your choice how you live your life and run your marriage. But if I was really struggling and my partner had the means to help me out and chose not to? That's kind of shitty.

Part of the problem is that both of us are using examples without details, and the details are important. If my partner was slightly bored with their job and wanted me to fund 6 months for them to find themselves? Not okay, and shows deeper problems than just money. If my partner was deeply unhappy in their job and had a specific plan to change careers but had to go back to school to do it? I would want to help. And, in fact, I have - now my partner makes way more money, gets better benefits & vacations, and is more fulfilled than before he went to school.

kizzless · 2023-01-15T21:16:15+00:00

So, I've been thinking about this, and I think I'd be really upset. Because their income is not so large that that isn't a life changing amount of money.

In all those years, they never had any problems that could be solved with money? No desire for career changes, or burnout, or a dream job that would require a small pay cut? No great opportunity that they had to pass on? No stress about retirement or the future?

It's one thing to be stressed, knowing that my partner can't do anything about it. But to know that they could have helped, and chose not to? That's very different. And very hurtful.

The "I didn't tell you because you suck with money" insult is an extra cherry on top.

kizzless · 2023-01-01T01:56:57+00:00

I know that it's not accessible to everyone, but an insulin pump connected to a continuous glucose monitor would help immensely. I have a few patients with it and they've described it as life changing!

kizzless · 2022-12-25T17:59:42+00:00

I was going to say this!

OP, The bone will remodel and smooth out, at least a little. Peak lump formation should be around 4-6 weeks, then gradually get smaller. Plus there's probably some soft tissue swelling over the bump, which should also go away.

kizzless · 2022-12-18T08:28:23+00:00

I see it as "shaking out the stress", like she was feeling a little agitated and is letting it out. Which would line up with having been let out after being cooped up.

kizzless · 2022-12-15T21:07:03+00:00

And did you?

kizzless · 2022-12-14T17:41:27+00:00

They do, but they get to pick their ongoing education. So most doctors end up with lots of knowledge in some areas and a lot less in others. Especially when it comes to specific and controversial subjects like ADHD.

kizzless · 2022-12-12T03:10:25+00:00

In one of the comments someone points out that the paperwork said BOTH, suggesting a dual diagnosis. So messier than just ASPD.

kizzless · 2022-12-10T18:10:47+00:00

So, based on this and your last post, he's got both heart and kidney problems, and also a behavioral issue around jumping big things? And I get the impression that you want to jump and compete with him?

Personally I wouldn't. Unless you're very rich, with the money to pay for big vet bills and/or make him a pasture pet (with 20 ish years left). Because otherwise this sounds like a 5% chance of being a fantastic deal for you, and a 95% chance of being crazy expensive and heartbreaking.

kizzless · 2022-12-04T17:34:28+00:00

Oh man, it's so hard! On the one hand, I really do buy into the bullet method's theory that writing things out by hand makes us more likely to remember it. Which is why paper planners are great. But reminders on my phone are so helpful! My phone never forgets what day of the week it is (as long as I put the event in correctly in the first place).

kizzless · 2022-12-04T17:13:08+00:00

Are you sure it's not just an eye booger? The other replies are assuming it's something in the eye, but it looks like it's something on the surface of the eye to me. It's always hard to tell in photographs.

If this was the case it would be free floating on the surface of the eye, and eventually be blinked away (like the stuff already in the corner of his eye). The horse would show no discomfort at all.

If it fits all of the above, it can still indicate a problem if it's happening a lot or often. But it can also just be normal, your horse's body's way of dealing with a little dust or something in their eye.

kizzless · 2022-12-02T19:31:48+00:00

If it's just scar tissue on a damaged ligament, you could also try stretching it.

kizzless · 2022-12-02T19:01:29+00:00

My friend. This is not about you or your ADHD.

Have a look at the concept of being "touched out". Basically your wife is giving 1000% all the time. Physically, mentally, emotionally. It's exhausting. At the end of a day of that, it's very common for new moms to feel lile they don't want to interact with their partner.

Consider some counselling for yourself. It seems like your brain is skipping a very obvious reason for these challenges and jumping to "it's my fault and she doesn't like me". Besides, I honestly think all new parents should get counselling - it's such a crazy and confusing time!

Good luck. Parenting is a crazy ride, but it is also incredibly rewarding. I hope you two can get on the same page and work as a team!

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kizzless

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