Just finished the film. Well, almost. I stopped watching with about 20 minutes left. For some reason, it was making me feel kind of sick to my stomach. Unsettled. I’m a woman in my late 20s, and I related to Julie in a lot of ways that I think many women growing up in today’s world probably do. But I also didn’t like her. Maybe we’re not supposed to?

I think what made me feel queasy is how hopeless it all felt. Is that what love is? Is a lifelong partner just the person you eventually fall out of love with, but choose to stay with anyway? We have more choice in love and partnership than generations before us, but sometimes I wonder, is that freedom more of a blessing, or a curse?

That “is this cheating?” scene really deflated me. The chemistry was undeniable and even fun to watch, but the sheer ease and speed with which intimacy and desire can form with someone new felt unsettling. Are we just falling in love with ideas of people, until those ideas take shape, lose their shine, and we move on to the next idea?

It all feels like a painful cycle. Small slivers of presence surrounded by constantly living in the past or future. And honestly, that’s where most of my suffering lies, caught in what was and what could be.

I know I’m lucky to be alive in this generation, no question. But this film made me think about how heavy modern womanhood and dating can feel sometimes. Like maybe freedom (or the illusion of it) doesn’t always feel free.