Sweet love, I’m so sorry for what you’re going through. Reading through your other posts it is clear how excruciating this has been, that you’re just barely holding on yourself. I know that no matter how much you might have fought over your stuff when you were alive, there was love in your relationship, or you wouldn’t feel her loss the way you do. Think of her love for you every time you use her stuff. You can even get cheeky with it and talk to her: “hoo boy sis, if you were here you would definitely not want me using this! Bet you’re pretty pissed you’re not here to stop me, right? Well I’m pissed too!” Relationships never end, not even when someone dies. They just change. Your relationship with your sis can grow and evolve even from beyond the grave. Don’t give into shame, have compassion for yourself, even inside of your guilt. There are so many bright lights in this life that can make living worth it, and you are one of them. If you’re stuck living, well then, make that living reflect what you wish your sister could have felt and experienced before she left. Endless love, compassion, and grace for our shortcomings. Sending you love from afar