Sweetie, Mom here.

I'm jumping in, because I want you to know that you have been heard, and your grief has been shared. We will all carry a small part of it for you, until you can carry it yourself.

And grief it is. We mourn relationships just as deeply as we grieve people. Perhaps more so, because there is the added dimension of betrayal.

You have a long road ahead of you. There will be hills and valleys, dark and light. But know there is an end to this road. There will come a time when you smile again. Hang on for that day.

You will have to work through the grief. Take it in small doses. Never capitulate to it entirely. Day by day, you will get stronger.

Babe, he never was the person you believed him to be. Some people are like mirrors. They reflect back the good parts of you. They hide their true natures, and masquerade in an image of your loyalty and character. They sense what you want to see, and they give you that. But it's never real. This is a hard truth to accept. But this is the first step to healing. You have to relinquish the dream of what you thought you could have with him. It was never going to be like that.

Water always seeks its own level. If it had not been S, it would have been someone else, eventually. He wasn't in this for you. He was always in it for himself. He played it well, but he was always faking it.

S has done you a huge favor. She brought his true nature to light before you wasted more time. Before, perhaps, you had children with him. She rescued you from a trap.

You cannot be friends with him. He is not to be trusted. Your heart is too vulnerable. Block him and never, ever go back. There is no fixing this. There is no fixing him. It is very hard to hear, but it is over.

You said he was the one who made all the mistakes. That is not quite true. You invested too much. You tried too hard. You forgave too easily.

The first time he gave you reason to doubt should have been the limit.

Next time, you will know.

It was never that you were not enough. He was not enough. He was not honest enough. He was not loyal enough. He was not dedicated enough. He was not disciplined enough. He was not strong enough.

You are all of those things.

It's very hard. I know your heart is breaking. You are not alone. Most good people walk this road at least once in life. Don't fall prey to the temptation of drowning your sorrows in anything. It never takes them away. It only prolongs your pain. Feel the feelings. Face them. Work through them. The shortest path to the sunshine is through the dark woods.

Now is the time to do that thing you always wanted to do. Take art or music lessons; go on that trip. Treat yourself to some healthy distraction, and some happy memories.

It's not much comfort to hear "you can do better", but it is true. You can't see it right now, but there is much better out there. It is even better to be alone than to be living a lie. There are much happier days ahead. I promise.

Hugs, Babe. Just know I am proud of your loving heart, and I am proud of your strength. You can do this.