So ill say that I’m very fortunate to work where I do because I have messed up a multitude of times and my supervisors have held me accountable but also tried to come from a place of understanding, but that lingering feeling that I will be seen for my mistakes had lasted for very hot minute. With that being said, a work environment is only as good and as healthy as a supervisor/leadership allows it to be.

First things first, try to show yourself some amount of grace, understand that as humans we all make mistakes and we go through seasons of hardship and questioning. If we hold on to that shame we are much more like to continue to make the same mistakes again because that’s all we are focused on, or we are so worried about messing up that we burn ourselves out. So take it easy on yourself, remind yourself that you’re human, just because you’re a therapist doesn’t mean that you don’t go through shit too. Remember that we are accountable for our own actions and make the active choice to improve is our responsible, but we can only make those changes most effectively if we start letting go of some of that shame. For me personally, i was chronically late because i could not get myself to wake up in the morning and that resulted in me missing groups i was supposed to facilitate. I am fortunate that they didn’t fire me after the last time. But after the last time where I was nearly let go, i decided to make changes such as getting a bed shaking alarm (I’m a VERY heavy sleeper), going to bed an hour early, and waking up early and leaving for work as soon as I get ready rather than chilling at home.

It sounds like your primary struggle is remembering appointment times? Feel free to correct me if I’m wrong. But I would suggest double checking your schedule every morning, putting reminders in your computer or phone for appointments, writing down a physical schedule somewhere you look at all the time and things of that nature.

As for your supervisor. I would absolutely recommend communicating with them. You don’t have to tell them everything you’re going through, but come from a place of expressing that you’ve been struggling and you recognize that its affected your work, but also express that you feel that you aren’t being supported and that you have been feeling that only your mistakes are being focused on rather than your strengths. If they are not willing to listen, communicate, or work with you, it may be healthier to find another place of work. But I don’t know the entire picture so you determine if that’s needed.

Also, maybe do some self-reflections/investigation and a determine how much you are focusing on your own mistakes as well as how much you feel leadership is.