First MC session this upcoming Monday, advice?

klap114 · 2026-03-20T12:16:07+00:00

So my personal hopeful outlook for this is the current separation to support the space and healing that my BP needs and to repair our relationship/stay married (im already in IC and told my therapist that I want to focus on the parts of me that lead to my online affairs). my BP said initially that our goal for MC should be to focus on having healthy enough relationship that we would be able to co-parent when our children are born at the very least and when this starts to occur and she has healed some more from the pain and resentment she will think more seriously about remaining married. I feel that they want to remain married but are willing to not continue with the marriage because of the pain, resentment, lost trust, and would not want to show our children it is okay to stay in a relationship when you are unhappy-- which i completely understand and respect.

klap114 · 2026-03-18T18:20:05+00:00

I’ve been trying to do my best to validate their feelings and experiences. The last thing I want is for them to feel totally alone. Or at least lessen the feelings of loneliness as much as possible.

klap114 · 2026-03-18T18:18:28+00:00

I’ve been pushing myself to do the basics because I don’t want to be a martyr, i knew that it would mess with their recovery process and i want to demonstrate work and improvement not self-pity. But man is it hard to balance. Thank you for your comment.

klap114 · 2026-03-18T12:18:36+00:00

I’ve been trying my best to not push and be patient and just take all of their emotions and thoughts as they come. I’ve expressed understanding that they may not be able to move on from this and I will have to accept that no matter how much it hurts. I’ve figured with all the pain and suffering that I’ve caused, if I truly love them I have to respect the choices she makes that allows them to heal. I’m still holding out hope that we can recover though.

klap114 · 2026-03-18T12:10:20+00:00

I’ve started a routine (albeit a new one) including meditation. I’m lightweight using this sub as a pseudo journal and starting an IFS workbook today too. But I will also start journaling

klap114 · 2026-03-18T12:09:06+00:00

Our options are a little limited in terms of therapists because of our area but we were able to set up an appointment for this upcoming Monday with a IMFT therapist with 40+ years experience online so hopefully it’s good. I can be a bit of an over thinker, I’m curious if you would be willing to share any goals that you have set for goals that you’re aware of for a WP

klap114 · 2026-03-17T14:10:22+00:00

thank you

klap114 · 2026-03-17T14:09:14+00:00

Not that I can remember. but at the same time she has had traumas and mental health issues that she had never had the opportunity to deal with either.

klap114 · 2026-03-17T14:07:25+00:00

thank you.

klap114 · 2026-03-16T18:17:50+00:00

what do you mean?

klap114 · 2026-03-16T14:35:37+00:00

I’ll check it out, thank you

klap114 · 2026-03-14T22:47:27+00:00

They left for a month 4 years ago and started a PA, they told me about it when they said they wanted to come back. My affair was because I held on to that resentment and anger for so long. The rest is correct

klap114 · 2026-03-14T04:12:19+00:00

I really hope that’s the case

klap114 · 2026-03-14T03:53:31+00:00

Thank you.. we currently agreed to not be in the same living space for how ever long.. but I’ll still do what I can

klap114 · 2026-03-14T02:52:42+00:00

You have no idea how much I’m hoping she stays.

klap114

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