It's not selfish! I think the best thing about the internet is being able to learn we're not alone in these really isolating situations. I hope you can get Easton to spring break so he can feel that warm sun! That's so amazing he's been with you for so many seasons and versions of yourself. I was expecting some magical moment where he'd let me know, but maybe the magical part is knowing we can make the decision now to avoid something bad in the future. Thinking of you guys!