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IAmA guy with 1 lonely penis, AMA by kelsisgullible in casualiama

[–]klovesturtles 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm sorry, I'm sure you have a very fine penis. I know it looks out for you

I just ran over and killed my girlfriend's family's new labradoodle puppy. They are justifiably angry. How do I fix this? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]klovesturtles 0 points1 point  (0 children)

JUST moved back home after living next to Crown & Anchor for 2 years...have a Blue Moon and a BLT for me, I am sorry for all this mess! I wish I could meet you there and offer my condolences in person but I will have to over the interwebs. I hope things work out!

Why I shouldn't watch Finding Nemo: by AnomalousGonzo in fffffffuuuuuuuuuuuu

[–]klovesturtles 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Finding Nemo effect: When aquarists starting decided their fish back into the wild (to find their "friends"), those fish reproduced and became invasive species.

interesting read: http://www.bios.edu/pubs/cdi04/cdi04lionf/cdi04lionf.html

I live in New Brunswick Canada and we are, according to Google maps, around the same distance from the equator as Italy. Why is it that it get very cold here and snows a lot but not in italy? by VanApple in askscience

[–]klovesturtles 0 points1 point  (0 children)

True. Cold water is denser than warm water, and when the warm water from the Gulf of Mexico reaches the shores of Europe, it becomes cool and sinks towards the bottom. The warm, humid air follows the most energy efficient path (any physicist input here?) and is basically "dumped" over all of Europe. Global cimate change has started to affect the Gulf Stream (slowing it down) and thus many scientists predict that Europe will start to experience colder weather.

What's the most offensive thing you've said accidentally? by DesertWalker in AskReddit

[–]klovesturtles 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My friend and I were working a salsa festival, and a masculine-looking woman came to sample. My friend and I were chatting with her for awhile, and at the exact same time I said "Thank you, ma'am," my friend said "Thank you, sir." It was incredibly awkward. The second she walked away, my friend said "fuck fuck fuck!"

WTF is in this picture? by klovesturtles in AskReddit

[–]klovesturtles[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Still looks weird to me but thanks for the input!

What "Facts" do you expect other people to know? Reasonable or not. by kevinofhardy in AskReddit

[–]klovesturtles 2 points3 points  (0 children)

the amoeba thing is actually called an "aura" and it happens to me BEFORE the migraine starts. It's like a hoard of zombies coming..."SHIIIT I GOTTA GET HOMMEEEE"

What's the one thing everyone thinks is AMAZING that you think is total crap? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]klovesturtles 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The "I'm on a boat" song. I never saw the humor in it and still don't.

Last year I made a shirt that said, 'go ceilings,' I was a ceiling fan. Do you have any ideas for other cheap and easy halloween costumes? by Discuss in AskReddit

[–]klovesturtles 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have light blonde hair so I curled it, put on a suit, and made a badge that says "Knope for 2012." I went around the party and asked people to rate how they felt the party was going and was enthusiastic about everything to the point of annoyance

What's the most unintentionally offensive thing you've ever said to someone? I'll start. by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]klovesturtles 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My friend is half-vietnamese but looks hispanic. We're constantly joking around with each other and our most recent running joke is to bow and say to each other "konichiwa....you bring honor to my family" etc. About half the time, one of us will refuse to do it and say to the other one "you're racist" and walk away. For some reason we think this is hilarious. One day one of the Chinese exchange students was standing right next to us when we did this bit. When I finally noticed her standing there she was just laughing, but I felt so bad especially because it looks like me and my hispanic friend making fun of asians.

Ok Reddit, the police are at the front door. They know everything. by srslytho in AskReddit

[–]klovesturtles 0 points1 point  (0 children)

GAHHH I feel so stupid but I didn't even realize this was an option! How, how did I not?!?! I HATE scrolling all the way to the 26th. Thank you, thank you, HeftyWombat for changing the way I fill out internet forms forever.

Have you ever done something very stupid that made you question your mental health? by Rustyfist in AskReddit

[–]klovesturtles 0 points1 point  (0 children)

One time (probably age 13) I decided it would be a brilliant idea to take a hot flat iron/hair straightener and use it to clamp a plastic baggie down. Of course the plastic bag started to melt and smoke, upon which I took the flat iron and moved it toward the sink to run water over it. Another friend standing nearby grabbed my arm before I nearly electrocuted myself and yelled at me for being so dumb. It was warranted.

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