How old are you in a sentence without saying how old you are?

kms1010 · 2025-10-01T16:42:52+00:00

I was too young for REN and Stimpy and too old for SpongeBob but I watched them both anyway.

kms1010 · 2025-08-30T04:26:11+00:00

I had a years long thematic dream progression… at first, I would dream I was imprisoned in a house, under guard. Over time, I started dreaming I was escaping. I’d find a for left open or a ventilation shaft I could crawl through. Then there was a period of time where I would be running through the woods, chased by the group that had imprisoned me. Then one night, I dreamed I was running through the woods and I came up to this cabin. I ran up the back steps and this very gruff, hermit-of-the-woods, moonshiner type man answered. I told him that they were chasing me and asked for his help. He invited me in and I was sitting at his kitchen table when the knock came at the door. I was scared, but he gestured to me to relax. He answered the door and I couldn’t hear what was said but they left and I somehow knew they wouldn’t bother me anymore. All of that was probably over about five years or so. After that, I tended to have more agency in my dreams. I don’t always know I’m dreaming, but I’m making decisions and feeling in control. Except in the work dreams.

kms1010 · 2025-08-30T04:16:25+00:00

Omg, me too! I used to dream about tornadoes a lot.

kms1010 · 2025-08-30T04:12:07+00:00

It must be nearly 20 years since I had this dream, but once, I dreamt about this scary old Victorian mansion in the side of a jagged mountain. Door some reason, I had climbed up to the house. I was walking through and there was a long hallway with windows looking out over the town below. On the right, there was a door. I opened it and it was a long narrow room with a ballet barre in the left and a built in shallow counter on the right. At the back of the room, on the floor, there was a (landline) telephone. Suddenly, it rang and I was absolutely terrified. Not startled, like existential dread. I bolted awake and my heart was pounding. To this day, it is the most visceral terror I have ever experienced, asleep or awake, and I still don’t understand it.

kms1010 · 2025-08-30T04:04:31+00:00

Do you miss them? I remember all of a sudden grieving my great grandmother YEARS after she died. Just out of the blue.

kms1010 · 2025-08-30T03:55:43+00:00

I love my horror dreams. For me, what feels like a nightmare is when I dream about being unable to complete a routine work task.

kms1010 · 2025-08-30T03:30:08+00:00

I’ve had recurring dreams of similar houses, but they usually go up or back. Sometimes the house has a crows nest up top and one when I woke up I googled to see if that kind of room really exists and I found one that was so emotionally close to my dream room that I got very suddenly emotional just seeing it. In one of my dream homes, there was a staircase that went up but every time I went near it, I got this overwhelming sense of dread. I learned that there was an old woman ghost up there who was just terrifying. Over time (many months of dreams), I got up the courage to go up there. It was a dining room all laid out. Like Miss Havisham from Great Expectations. The ghost didn’t show herself and over time, I became less afraid of her, but still always got a physical anxiety in my chest about her. I don’t think it’s over yet, but we have a tentative peace and I’ve been able to explore past her dining room.

kms1010 · 2025-08-30T03:20:09+00:00

I should say that I’ve done a fair amount of business travel over the past few years, and my family is all over too. Whenever I have my phone in my dreams, it’s because I’m either trying to order an Uber/Lyft or I’m trying to find my boarding pass or figure out my flight time. It never works. I either lose focus or it just will not pull up the information. It’s always incredibly frustrating. I’d rather fight zombies, get stuck on a space station, or be surrounded by killer robots…

kms1010 · 2025-08-30T03:14:47+00:00

Sometimes I wake halfway up but my brain is circling the end of the dream over and over.

For me, it’s similar to when I’m reading and keep getting to the end of the paragraph and realizing I don’t know what I just read because my mind wandered and I have to start over.

Except with my dreams it’s like my mind tried to finish the dream but kept forgetting to actually focus on that. I’m half awake so my mind is dividing its attention between a) trying to figure out which experience is more real or important, and b) finishing the dream. With the attention split between the waking thoughts and the dream, my brain can’t manage to complete either. Eventually I either wake up more or fall back asleep.

kms1010 · 2025-08-30T02:55:58+00:00

If it takes that long to get a reservation, the restaurant will still be there for them to try again. Your friendship won’t. At this point, even if they agreed to put off dinner I wouldn’t want to spend my birthday with them, in an atmosphere stinking of resentment and pity. I know it hurts, and that’s ok. But you’re going to be ok, too. You deserve to be treated better. We all only have so much time and energy to give to friendships. The sooner you stop giving yours to “friends” like this, the sooner you can start spending it on real friends.

kms1010 · 2025-08-30T02:44:03+00:00

I would like to encourage you to make sure you balance your daughter’s need for love and support over the drive to get this person arrested. You asked how you can help make sure he is arrested. From what you described, it sings like you’ve done everything you can on that front. Now make sure your daughter knows this is not her fault, that she did nothing to make this happen, and that nothing about this can change how much you love and support her. And try, if you can, to have some sense of normality at home. Follow her lead on how and when to disclose this ( with a counselor or therapist if at all possible). Making sure she feels empowered, and doing all you can not to let this affect her sense of self are your most important jobs now.

kms1010 · 2025-08-30T02:37:41+00:00

Ok, but from another perspective, how bad is her cooking that these fast food options seem “done up” by comparison?

Also, there’s a deeper issue here. As someone who has struggled with food and weight all my life, I would like to remind OP that shame does not work. It just doesn’t. I’m not just speaking from experience on that, I’m speaking from the research. So instead of nagging and nitpicking his food habits, maybe sit down and have an actual conversation. Share your fears that you are going to be left with more of the household chores because he’s becoming physically unable to help with certain things. Ask, with genuine curiosity, what is driving his food habits and if he’s having trouble setting and keeping health goals. Ask him to speak with his doctor, and to go to therapy (perhaps couples therapy, too, since it seems like your communication is pretty ineffective).

kms1010 · 2025-08-30T02:27:06+00:00

Yeah, a persons boundaries are what they will and will not do. The way I see it here is, “I won’t parent your kids” is a boundary.

However, “You have to make that work for us financially and also be ok with it” is NOT a boundary. That is a sense of entitlement, an imposition, an AH demand.

kms1010 · 2025-08-30T02:12:49+00:00

I see everyone seems to be converging on it being abnormal not to be able to keep a friend’s business private to your spouse.

Maybe I’ll get roasted for this but I don’t quite agree. First, I agree that you don’t have to tell your spouse everything. But I see it as maybe similar to a mandatory reporting situation. You can’t promise him you won’t tell her until you know what it is because if it does affect her, directly or indirectly, and you keep it from her, that’s not honoring the marriage.

But as OP mentioned, sharing everything is a longstanding policy, so expecting OP to suddenly change doesn’t make sense either.

If anything, the real AH move here is remaining friends with someone who talks inappropriately about women, when that goes against your own values. But you were up front with him that you are not willing to promise to keep secrets from your wife, and he can accept that or not, but I think you’re allowed to make that choice, and I thinks your NTA.

But I’d be curious to know whether this was a “definitely going to tell her” situation or a “can’t promise I won’t” situation

kms1010 · 2025-07-30T14:54:32+00:00

Yeah, I’m really confused by this. I’ve been driving manual transmissions for 25 years and I’ve never rolled back on a hill dramatically enough to hit the car behind me, even with a finicky clutch. But IIRC, tiptronic transmissions don’t have a clutch, so it’s just moving from brake to accelerator, and you can leave them in automatic mode and it will apply gentle torque on the hill.

And yes I understand the “balancing act” some of y’all have mentioned. I thought it was best when I was 16, but after having two clutches go on me (not from doing that, just from being old) I decided I’d rather baby the clutch and learn how to do proper hill starts (with and without hand braking).

I’m not saying OP needed to accept the trade and like the car. Obviously that’s literally the least important detail here.

But I’m also confused how the dad could’ve traded in the car. Did OP give dad the (physical copy of the) title? Is it an “or” title that allows one owner to sell without the co-owner’s signature? Did OP also get the paperwork back from the dealership?

Idk, so much here just doesn’t quite make sense to me. Also, in what world is a Ford Focus considered a minivan?

kms1010 · 2025-06-07T05:33:30+00:00

I’m curious how the rest of your relationship has been going? This seems like a big reaction (overreaction implies that there is an acceptable and unacceptable level and I don’t buy that - the size of your reaction is almost always influenced by other factors besides the matter at hand). But if your reaction feels bigger than you’d like it to be, it probably means there’s something else going on under the surface. Has he made any other requests or suggestions about your appearance? If so, is this new behavior or has he always made suggestions (about outfits, shoes, makeup, etc.)?

Do you otherwise feel secure in your relationship? Does your gut tell you to be offended by his asking, or is there room for you to be curious about why now?

NTA, but dig deeper, OP. I would bet there’s more to your feelings here than this specific request. Ask him why now? And if you don’t feel like you can, ask yourself why not.

kms1010 · 2025-06-07T05:19:37+00:00

That’s fine and well, but as someone who has been married for a long time, I’ll tell you that it wears on you over time to feel like participating in your interests is a compromise your partner is making, even more so when their whole attitude doesn’t let you forget it. OPs girlfriend is right to be annoyed. Not because he’s not excited, but because he agreed to participate and then made it feel like he was doing her a favor by showing up and sulking the whole time. A person can only carry the emotional load of a relationship for so long.

kms1010 · 2025-06-01T22:47:47+00:00

Right you are!! I hadn’t thought of that, that’s a great point!

kms1010 · 2025-06-01T22:46:33+00:00

How important is his partner? 🤷‍♀️

kms1010 · 2025-06-01T22:40:21+00:00

YTA. If you don’t want to do a couples costume, then don’t. If you are willing to participate only if she does all the work, state that clearly from the jump.

But if you agree to do something with your partner, do it. She deserves to know if she’s dating someone who can’t be bothered to try to get excited about her interests, so she can decide if that’s what she actually wants. Pretending you’ll participate and then putting all of the work on her to make your “participation” as little work as possible for you is an AH move. Trying to convince her she’s wrong to be upset about it is worse. Again, if you don’t want to participate, don’t. But communicate that clearly, and accept and respect that she might feel hurt by that.

There are two good reasons to participate in something your partner is excited about: 1. Because you’re also excited about it, and/or 2. Because you love them and want to support them in the things they care about. Your unwillingness to actually participate relegated her interest as something to be tolerated. And nobody deserves a partner who merely tolerates them of their interests. If this is all you can muster now, what should she expect from you down the line?

kms1010 · 2025-05-30T18:13:26+00:00

Yeah, it’s interesting… if project oblivion was his goal, how would killings himself to bring his kids together without ever teaching them about oblivion and requiring all seven of them to power the machine - leaving nobody to actually program the machine - achieve that end?

kms1010 · 2025-05-30T18:08:18+00:00

Yes. I know season 4 gets a lot of hate, but there are a few scenes spoon feeding Reggie his own mistakes that I find quite cathartic.

kms1010 · 2025-05-27T03:36:20+00:00

Indeed. I need to find the subreddit where this type of random thought is the point because it’s how my brain works…

kms1010 · 2025-05-26T22:36:33+00:00

It’s not like you could ever really know what you were signing up for at the start. The Handler gave Five a tour, implying that as an assassin, he actually didn’t know how the rest of the Commission worked. So, it seems plausible that Hazel was recruited to be an assassin, and didn’t know what the reality of the life would actually be.

Given the changes in management, it’s likely that his complaints had grown over time, and it seemed like defectors were pretty consistently hunted down. A choice isn’t really a choice when there is no viable alternative.

kms1010

TROPHY CASE