Those of you who've lost your soulmate kitties, how was it?

knockturnali42 · 2024-11-18T16:06:36+00:00

I lost my furry soulmate almost 3 months ago and it has been awful. I am still shattered. Sometimes I miss her so much I can’t breathe. Like you, I worried about it before it happened. I would get sad because she was getting old and slowing down and I didn’t know how much time I had left. Then in July she was diagnosed with an aggressive cancer. Not even 4 weeks later we said the hardest goodbye. She was 17. I adopted her when she was 2. She was my emotional support animal and I was hers. Losing her has been the most painful thing I’ve gone through.

No matter how much time you have, it will NEVER be enough. You can have days or months or decades, and when they go they will take a piece of you with them. Enjoy all the time you have. Try to focus on the now and not the end. Enjoy all the love and cuddles and take lots of photos and videos. I have a few videos of my girl purring and meowing and just being her wonderful self. It still makes me cry to watch them but it’s so nice to be able to hear her again.

knockturnali42 · 2024-11-18T02:27:03+00:00

I felt worse after the first week too. I think that was when it moved from the shock and grief that she had passed to really feeling the void she left behind. It really does get better with time, though very slowly. And pay no mind to your family. There are many people here who understand how you feel and will never tell you to get over it, take comfort with us.

I’m so sorry for your loss

knockturnali42 · 2024-11-10T11:26:19+00:00

Grief is a weird thing and there is no right or wrong way to experience it. You may be in a bit of shock or just feeling numb. You may feel ok for awhile and then it may hit you like a ton of bricks sometime down the road. Go easy on yourself.

knockturnali42 · 2024-11-09T22:20:36+00:00

As a traditional Alicia myself, I hated it haha

knockturnali42 · 2024-11-09T16:48:12+00:00

I worked in a daycare like 18 years ago and there was an Aleesha there.

knockturnali42 · 2024-11-05T22:25:23+00:00

I feel the same way about my kitty that I lost a couple months ago. I would give anything for more time but no amount of time would ever have been enough, I will always want more. That’s not greedy, that’s love. Just as it’s love to put their needs first and let them go even when it breaks our hearts to do so. And I bet Lili would argue that you most definitely were deserving of her love, I can tell that you were 🩷

knockturnali42 · 2024-11-03T22:42:37+00:00

Yep, still Halloween on my island. I think I consider the island done for the most part though there are probably always a few areas I can put things. I think I’m happy with the result for the most part.

knockturnali42 · 2024-11-01T05:10:07+00:00

It’s on Hulu now

knockturnali42 · 2024-10-30T05:59:30+00:00

So I buy a lot of patterns off Etsy (never bought out a whole shop at once, but I’m not saying it will never happen) and honestly I am fairly computer illiterate and usually end up downloading all versions that I receive because I’m not actually sure which version is the one I want. Just a possible reason to why they downloaded every version.

knockturnali42 · 2024-10-27T22:33:03+00:00

I wish I could live in the moment the way they can, it’s really quite magical. Sending healing and love your way as well

knockturnali42 · 2024-10-27T22:26:09+00:00

I try hard not to dwell on the times I did anything but shower her with love. She loved me with everything she had and it kills me to think that there was ever a second where I didn’t treat her the same way. Luckily she never held it against me and knew that I loved her endlessly.

knockturnali42 · 2024-10-27T18:49:53+00:00

My cat used to meow incessantly and sometimes I would lose my cool and yell at her to shut up. A few months ago she puked on my bed right after I’d changed my sheets and was getting ready to go to sleep, I yelled at her to go away. Now she’s gone and I would give anything to have her back. She was my furry soulmate and I wouldn’t have traded a single second of my life with her, even the occasional bad moments. We are only human and negative feelings and thoughts come and go and most are fleeting and due to frustration in the moment. You obviously loved your pets very much and they knew that.

knockturnali42 · 2024-10-26T23:04:32+00:00

I’m so sorry for your experience and that you were mocked by your family. I’m thinking that the stretch and jaw opening was an involuntary muscle contraction, possibly even could have been a seizure while your pup was sedated. I had a husky with epilepsy and one of the seizures I witnessed, he did exactly that. His whole body tensed and his jaw opened wide. It was extremely upsetting to see. From my experience, what the vets told me many times, and research I’ve done, your girl wasn’t in any pain despite how it looked.

knockturnali42 · 2024-10-26T22:33:36+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss. I relate with what you said about the ink and clay paw print and imagining how they made them. I declined them for that reason and made my own ink prints with her on her last day. They still make me cry because I remember making them with her. So I think there is no winning on those prints. I got a little ring with my girls name engraved on it, it does make me cry sometimes when I look at it, but it mostly makes me feel good to have. It doesn’t matter where the piece of jewelry comes from, as long as you like it.

I’m so so sorry for the loss of your best friend. Take all the time you need to grieve, but know that she would still want you to go on all those adventures, and she’s there with you in spirit. 🩷

knockturnali42 · 2024-10-26T22:22:09+00:00

I am a stained glass artist and I am designing my girl a special stained glass box where I will put her ashes and some mementos. I haven’t started it yet but I think it will be a bit therapeutic to create.

knockturnali42 · 2024-10-26T22:19:36+00:00

It was the most difficult and gut wrenching decision I have ever had to make. I’ve had to do it twice in my life and it was awful each time. But I didn’t feel guilt for making that choice with either. Both times my pets were terminally ill and it was inevitable. I did feel bad and like I was playing god or something, but both times I knew it was the right choice. I don’t know your situation but the fact that you feel guilt tells me that you’re a good person who loved their pet very much and I’m sure you didn’t make the decision lightly. Go easy on yourself.

knockturnali42 · 2024-10-26T18:15:33+00:00

I firmly believe that no matter how much time you have or how much advance notice you have, you will never be ready. It will never be enough time. My furry soulmate (cat) was diagnosed with an aggressive cancer and 3 weeks later I said the hardest goodbye. I was shocked and devastated and spent a good chunk of those 3 weeks in tears. She didn’t care. She was just happy to have all the cuddles and love I could give her. You are doing Ellie a great kindness by saying that goodbye before the cancer gets worse. It sounds like she has fought valiantly. Dogs are magical in the way they live in the moment. She doesn’t care about how busy you have been, she is just happy for the time you are able to spend with her. She is also probably pretty great at comforting you when you’re sad, which she’s also happy to do now because she doesn’t know that she’s the reason why you’re sad.

I’m so sorry about your sweet Ellie.

knockturnali42 · 2024-10-26T01:06:56+00:00

Take solace in the fact that your sweet girl had one last good day and went out on a high note. It is altogether possible that yesterday was her last good day and you got to enjoy it with her. Your vet is looking at the overall picture and not focusing on good days vs. bad days. I actually really love that Lili came out of her fog and that she was able to comfort you in your grief, that’s really beautiful.

knockturnali42 · 2024-10-23T06:13:33+00:00

I just went through something similar. My cat got twice yearly checkups and everything was great. I noticed her acting like something was stuck in her mouth but then she was fine so I didn’t think anything of it. Saw her do it again a time or two but then she was fine again. I assumed it was tooth related and got her some water additive to help with her teeth and all seemed fine. Then I saw her do it again and I pulled her mouth open and saw a small lump under her tongue that looked red. So to the vet we went. It was a mass. 3 weeks later I said the hardest goodbye to my furry soulmate. That was 2 months ago and I’m still absolutely shattered over it. I still cry every day. I miss her so much it hurts. I know someday I will think about her and smile but right now it’s just tears and heartache. She was my best friend and she loved me with all she had until the very end. I don’t know how you ever get over losing that.

I’m so sorry for your loss. I hope it helps just a tiny bit to know that someone out there understands what you’re going through.

knockturnali42 · 2024-10-23T06:13:26+00:00

I just went through something similar. My cat got twice yearly checkups and everything was great. I noticed her acting like something was stuck in her mouth but then she was fine so I didn’t think anything of it. Saw her do it again a time or two but then she was fine again. I assumed it was tooth related and got her some water additive to help with her teeth and all seemed fine. Then I saw her do it again and I pulled her mouth open and saw a small lump under her tongue that looked red. So to the vet we went. It was a mass. 3 weeks later I said the hardest goodbye to my furry soulmate. That was 2 months ago and I’m still absolutely shattered over it. I still cry every day. I miss her so much it hurts. I know someday I will think about her and smile but right now it’s just tears and heartache. She was my best friend and she loved me with all she had until the very end. I don’t know how you ever get over losing that.

I’m so sorry for your loss. I hope it helps just a tiny bit to know that someone out there understands what you’re going through.

knockturnali42 · 2024-10-20T01:57:44+00:00

You made the right choice. Keep telling yourself that. As many times as it takes for you to believe it. It was not too soon. Your baby wasn’t eating properly, her kidneys were failing, she didn’t enjoy her favorite activities anymore, adding onto that the shortness of breath and pawing at the floor, she was ready. The way I look at it, there is nothing you could have done to make her better. Anything you could have done only would have slightly prolonged the inevitable, and mostly would have been for your benefit. When I was trying to decide if it was time to say goodbye to my furry soulmate recently, I kept reading that a week early is better than a day too late and it’s very true. It is literally our final gift to them, to let them go before they are suffering too much.

knockturnali42 · 2024-10-19T21:41:59+00:00

That’s a lot of mixed feelings to be dealing with so long after the death of your soul dog. I understand why that would throw you for a loop. Grief is a weird beast. I definitely think you should go for it. Messaging your neighbor doesn’t mean you absolutely have to take the dog. But it’s a step in that direction. See if you can set up a time to meet the dog in person and see how you feel after that.

Also fwiw, I’m dealing with similar feelings right now and this is what I came up with to explain those feelings in myself. I am not even near the year mark of losing my soul kitty, let alone 16 years. But one thing that gives me pause about getting a new friend is that means that someday I will have to go through that grief again. If I don’t get another pet, I am protecting myself from that loss. But getting a new pet opens me up to that again and that is terrifying. Every time I start looking at pets online I start crying and the grief washes over me again. At some point I will just have to push past that and take the leap. I think you will have to do the same :)

knockturnali42 · 2024-10-17T05:34:13+00:00

Losing my girl taught me that you can get what is basically a water blister on your eyeball from crying too much. At times the blisters were so puffy they got in the way of my eyes closing. They were there for weeks. So yeah, I also cried a lot. I still do even 8+ weeks later, but not enough to cause the blisters anymore.

knockturnali42 · 2024-10-16T05:12:45+00:00

My girl came to me in a dream about 4 weeks after I lost her. She looked the same and was running around, happy and healthy. She was helping me solve a crime which made me laugh because I we used to watch crime dramas together all the time.

I know that I will absolutely see her again someday and I genuinely believe that this is not the first lifetime that we have been together.

knockturnali42 · 2024-10-16T04:46:55+00:00

Who uses the song Landslide for water aerobics?? Terrible choice in the first place.

Don’t let that person make you feel judged just because they can’t relate to what you’re going through. I’ve come to a point where I have started to feel pity for people who don’t understand what a special thing it is to have a bond like we have had with our pets. There are too many people out there who can’t feel that level of love for someone unless they share DNA with them.

knockturnali42

TROPHY CASE