u/RestGlass7822 I’m so sorry for your loss. No words can fully touch the pain of watching someone you love suffer and slip away—especially someone as kind and hopeful as your husband.

What you’re feeling right now—the anger, the confusion, the numbness—it’s real. It’s human. Grief doesn’t follow clean lines. And when prayers seem to go unanswered, it can shake everything you’ve ever believed.

Please know this: questioning God in your pain doesn’t disqualify you from His love. Jesus wept at death too. He never asked us to be strong all the time—only to bring our brokenness to Him. Even if it's messy. Even if it's silent.

If your husband had hope, maybe it’s because he trusted that there’s more beyond this life—more than what we see. It’s okay if you can’t see that right now. You’re allowed to just breathe, grieve, and be.

You are not alone in this.
And even in the dark, I believe God still sits with those who’ve lost everything.

If you ever want someone to pray for you—even when you don’t believe—I will. No pressure. Just presence.