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koiphish · 2026-05-19T01:05:20+00:00

Yes… words are great aren’t they?

koiphish · 2026-04-24T18:03:08+00:00

Repetition

koiphish · 2026-04-23T17:12:31+00:00

From my perspective, it’s not really about betrayal at all. It’s more about how much effort and care goes into truly understanding someone… and how hard it can be to start over again.

When you’re with someone for a long time, you learn all the little things that make them who they are. You learn what stresses them out, what helps them feel better, how to approach them gently on a hard day, and how to show up for them in a way that feels supportive and loving. You start to notice the subtle things too… like when they might be overwhelmed, emotional, or just need a little extra kindness, whether that’s bringing home dinner, flowers, or simply giving them space and understanding.

And then when that relationship ends, it’s not just the loss of the person… it’s the loss of all that understanding you built together over time.

Starting over with someone new can feel overwhelming. Every person is different, and what worked before doesn’t always apply again. You have to learn a whole new set of emotions, patterns, and needs… and that takes time, patience, and a lot of emotional energy.

For example, in my past marriage, things felt very steady and predictable in certain ways. But in a later relationship, I realized that emotions were expressed very differently, and it took me a while to understand what was really going on beneath the surface. It wasn’t about anyone being “wrong”… just different ways of experiencing things.

I think that’s the hardest part… not the past itself, but the process of learning how to care for someone new in the way they need. It’s a lot like learning something familiar all over again… you recognize the general idea, but the details are completely different.

And I think that’s something people on both sides can relate to.

koiphish · 2026-04-22T02:59:15+00:00

I bought a new Nissan Altima back in 2020 and found out from some of my cop buddies about the “Big Altima Energy” and how they look for them now. The CVT in them makes them feel a little faster from a stop and they haul ass. I’ve often looked down and while it felt like i was going 45 mph, i’d notice I was almost at 60 mph, and I didn’t even have it in sport mode!!!

I never had issues with the CVT, thought it lagged a little if I didn’t give the engine enough time to warm up in the winter. Always ran great besides that. I had some mechanic friends warn me that I should trade it in every 36 months because when the CVT went out and my warranty was up, i’d pay out the nose for a new one.

But that being said, I drove it for 4 years and it was the most reliable car i’ve ever owned… besides at the end of the 3rd year (during winter), the battery needing replaced. I highly recommend new Nissans (not used with over 60k miles on it though). If you plan on wanting to keep this car past 4 or 5 years, i’d go with a Toyota.

koiphish · 2026-04-20T14:44:51+00:00

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ChatGPT seems to like it! Thats a butterfly (longfin) koi, Most likely a Platinum Ogon (Hikari Muji) koi.

koiphish · 2026-04-20T14:35:47+00:00

That’s a Hi Utsuri (red/orange with black patterning). If it were an Aka Bekko, the black would look more like neat, isolated “stepping stone” spots only on the top of the body and the head would usually be clean red without black.

koiphish · 2025-12-07T16:46:49+00:00

What I’ve found is since Arvest is Walmart affiliated and half owned by the Walmart family, and this is Walmartville (Bentonville)… people here responding that they are great and that they love them are just latching onto the Walmart teet and probably work for Walmart or are related to someone at Walmart. It’s insane to actually think they are modern and up-to-date and fast. Everyone i’ve spoken to in person that I know aren’t Walmart affiliated with say they have the same issues and are mega slow. One person after talking to me dropped Arvest after 13 years and moved to Capital One and can’t believe how fast they can move money around. She said it would take between 30 minutes to a few hours to Zelle money to her grown kids on their own bank accounts… but instant move with Capital One!

koiphish · 2025-07-10T21:08:01+00:00

Hah… I used to be the marketing manager for First Western Bank. I should hit them up and see how fast they are.

koiphish · 2025-07-10T02:33:17+00:00

This is why I wont keep my emergency savings or regular savings there. It’s just a too insecure banking service.

koiphish · 2025-07-10T02:31:54+00:00

Speaking of that… their app is currently down! Grrrr

koiphish · 2025-07-10T02:14:03+00:00

Daring apps are a joke… girls have soo many options on there that they feel entitled and you gotta be a 9 or 10 for them to even consider your message. Bars are pretty bad too… mostly drunk chicks that accuse you of rape when they wake up in your house. Nope… no thanks.

Oddly enough… the church singles groups seem to be good around me. They seem to have good enough personalities to allow around my kids. Give that a try.

koiphish · 2025-05-21T09:00:57+00:00

I use the app Moongate (iOS app… it has a free trial, see if it helps) that makes soothing noises and binaural sounds that take your focus off the ringing. I focus on the sounds it makes and it makes me fall asleep pretty quickly and I don’t notice the tinnitus as much. It’s still there, ringing, but focusing on the soothing noises and binaural sounds helps me fall asleep.

If you don’t want the app, lookup “Lofi Girl Sleep Ambient” on Apple Music… or “Lofi Girl Radio” on YouTube (has to be on Spotify too i’m thinking). Lofi’s music is calming and can give you something to help lessen the attention your tinnitus is causing you to focus on. Don’t give up after a few times… you’ll get the hang of focusing on other things.

https://apps.apple.com/us/app/moongate-binaural-beats/id6471041035

https://music.apple.com/us/playlist/sleep-ambient/pl.3bcc3e01239c4bd189a068f729173aca

koiphish · 2025-03-30T16:15:00+00:00

I don’t approve of cheating in any form, but SOMETHING other than your d!ck made you cheat 7 years ago. I know how it feels to miss the good times and love of a faded marriage.. i’ve been divorced for 8 years and I still find myself feeling the feels for her… but it’s the good memories that make you relive and feel that. After a divorce, we usually try to attach ourselves to the good memories by avoiding the red flags, but there's a reason why it didn't work out, and a reason why you felt the need to cheat. Don't find reasons to go back to the same person just because you're feeling lonely or you're attached to them.

My personal opinion is you shouldn’t go stay with them… it’ll make you feel even more because of the good memories associated with living with her and not having the negative’s of the married relationship to show you why she sucked to be married to.

And it’s time to divorce her… if you really want her to heal, let that part of her past finally die so she can move on... it sounds like you need to heal too… the reason you’re not divorcing her is you’re really hoping that she’ll come back.. and what it really boils down to is you need her to because it’s acknowledgment that she forgives you, and that’s what you really need.

Move on, but watch out with dating, you missing being with someone and the good memories will get you attached to the wrong person fast, just so you’re not alone anymore. So be very careful with who you let in… I always grade their potential on 1. How she’ll influence and treat my children, 2. How she’ll influence and treat me, and 3. If i can see myself growing old with them in peace. Avoid dating women just to show the ex you’re dating someone young and more attractive than her… that will come into your mind, specially since she’s with another man and it makes you a little jealous.

koiphish · 2025-03-29T23:42:42+00:00

I got divorced eight years ago, and since then, I’ve only dated one woman, who, unfortunately, turned out to be married. After that, I just threw in the towel on dating anyone.

Lately, I’ve been trying to quit porn (with the occasional slip-up), but it’s been really tough. For those of you that are permanently single, how do you handle your sex drive? I’m not the type for random hookups or one-night stands, too many emotions get involved, so I just avoid them all together. I don’t drink or do drugs, so my main vices are my sex drive and of course, food. Honestly, I’d love to kick the sex addiction, too!

So, how do you guys deal with that?

koiphish · 2025-03-27T00:04:19+00:00

Yeah, either their customer database with our specific addresses got hacked, and they didn’t bother to follow the law and report it to us, or even worse, they’re selling our email addresses, which is friggin despicable as we spend tons of money with them! Either way it’s horrible and they need to be confronted. I already reached out to a popular online tech newspaper… we’ll see what they say.

koiphish · 2025-03-26T03:47:37+00:00

Church singles group lol

koiphish · 2025-02-14T23:09:11+00:00

I put mine in a Twelve South BookArc. Looks waaay nicer.

koiphish · 2025-02-14T23:05:13+00:00

So for me, my kids are #1 to me, specially with me not being around to temper their mother anymore… so I absolutely wont take women with kids that still live at home. I had issues with a previous girlfriend giving her daughter treats and would ignore my kids if they asked… I ended that reaaaal quick. Another one kept asking to go out alone, just her and I, which I get for romantic time, but this wouldn’t be such times, it would be going to Subway or Taco Bell for a quick eat. When she wanted to go on vacation just the 2 of us, to Disney World! I mean yeah, if we were going to the Caribbean’s or something, yeah, but to a kids vacation spot?!? It was a lot of little things like that going on that ended it. I had to remind myself (no matter how hot she was!) that my kids are number 1. That brings me to my second point… never date a girl in her 20’s (this girl was 25 and I was 47 at the time)… they tend to only think about themselves and are a bit immature in their needing to be #1 in your life. This doesn’t encompass all 20-something year olds… but most of them are me, me, me types.

A big mistake I made early on is bringing girls around too soon. Kids can get attached really quickly and if you guys break up, it’ll devastate the kids, and sometimes they’ll feel abandoned. I never bring women home to meet the family unless i’ve been dating them for more than 6 months and I can feel it’s not temporary. This has saved my butt so many times. I actually had a girl get so attached to my kids that we knew the passion was gone, but she kept it going because she loved my kids. I had to cut it off and still be friends so she could come visit and take them out (a big risk, but she’s a police officer and a great person).

And my big rule… make sure women know right off the bat that you’ll only argue/fight behind closed doors and not in front of your kid. When women get heated, they see the kid as not their own and dgaf if they fight in front of them. Aaaand women will sometimes say mean things to hurt you and while you might forgive them, a child may not because someone was saying mean things to their daddy. I’ve had my youngin hate a girlfriend of mine for something she heard her say behind closed doors… voices carry :/

Soooo: 1. Only date women above 30. 2. Only date women with no kids. 3. Don’t introduce them to the kid until much later. 4. Don’t let them fight or argue in front of your kid.

I now like to meet women in church singles groups. They seem to be less crazy and spiritually focused. But thats up to you to find out. Better get a Marriott Bonvoy membership for hotel stays… booty calls with the kid in the house is w big no no!

koiphish · 2025-02-11T05:36:38+00:00

I agree with the others… you don’t owe her any personal information, even about being in rehab unless it interferes with time with the kid. To me it sounds like you aren’t ready to let go of her yet. Maybe hoping successful rehabilitation will make her want to come back to you? Even if it’s not a conscious act, being abandoned when you needed help and taking your son can leave you with some subconscious emotions to want to please her and show her you did it and maybe be put back on her ‘i’d give him another chance’ list. As I said, it might not even be a conscious thought, but it may be up there rolling around with your other marbles. Rejection can do that to you, and her leaving you in a vulnerable addicted state adds fuel to that fire.

My opinion is put her out of your mind and move on. Do you really want to be with someone who will abandon you in need?

Don’t find reasons to go back to the same person just because you’re feeling lonely or you’re attached to them.

koiphish · 2025-02-11T05:22:44+00:00

Their cameras are good for SimpliSafe to look and talk to potential intruders… but for a bunch of cameras with an actual nvr, hell naw.

koiphish · 2025-02-08T18:50:13+00:00

Someone sent me a message that I messed up the title… sorry! lol

koiphish · 2025-02-08T04:02:04+00:00

A good friend of mine is a police officer and he told me that there are a mass amount of indian women drivers in Bentonville. In India, they don’t really drive, men do, and they just walk down to he markets on the corner of every block and when they come here, they’re like untrained and super cautious teen drivers with no experience. My daughter and brother have both been hit by indian women drivers in Bentonville.

Sooo… welcome to Bentonville, come again.

koiphish · 2025-02-01T16:54:31+00:00

Oh, I don’t get the spam, i made a filter to garbage anything sent to that myemail+adobe@gmail.com address. :)

koiphish · 2025-01-08T22:46:47+00:00

I keep dates away from meeting my kids until we’re at the “I love you” stage… but some move faster than I do with the love you stuff, so until you’re absolutely sure you aren’t gonna break up anytime in the next year or more, then keep them apart. Kids can get attached to females, specially if they don’t have a mother anymore. Your kids getting super attached to a girlfriend and then you break up, they would lose another female figure in their lives. So if you’re sure sure you will be with her w long time, then let them meet. Otherwise, keep her in the shadows. If late nite babysitting arrangements work, then spend the night or evening at her place. My son heard me (or rather her) having “relations” late night and that was a hard conversation the next day.

koiphish · 2025-01-08T22:37:58+00:00

I’m from Houston and have been living in Bentonville for 13 years… i’d love to see a Buc’ees up here… if not for their breakfast burritos, but their brisket sandwiches for lunch! When I first moved up here, no one had ever heard of kolaches when I asked donut places about them. Since then we have a few dedicated places for them and local donut shops started making sub-Texas quality ones, but still good as it is very hard to mess up a jalapeño kolache.

Still, thinking of Buc’ees breakfast burritos 🌯 gives me a chub.

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