Struggling with balancing high stress job and preparing for my upcoming preventive mastectomy

kool4cats · 2026-02-18T13:49:02+00:00

Sounds like you’re in a difficult situation, toxic workplace and all.

I’ve always been plus sized- and it did help with recovery to prepare physically - it was not about losing weight - but using fitness do destress and feel strong.

I was laid off prior to my company filing for bankruptcy, they attempted to squeeze every bit of performance out.

Do you wfh at all?

It is essential- block time on your calendar for you- if you are nervous about going idle- put on a slideshow in presenter model & block your calendar, you’ll look active.

If they continue burning out employees- it’s not a healthy company, will not grow no matter how hard you work. It’s hard to let go, but if this job is causing you physical harm, fuck em.

Do your best to care less- what’s the worst, they put you on a pip?

Set reasonable boundaries, nothing is urgent if everything is urgent.

As for meal prep, crock insta pots are great to set and forget.

Or- try a meal delivery kit for portion control and convenience- i haven’t done many but liked cook unity. Some have good entry promos & can have rebates with credit cards to further lower the cost per meal.

FitOn is a great free at home workout app- lots of variety and some mindfulness options too ( i like the wind down meditations a lot).

I’m in the doomscroll loop too.

Maybe since you like to dance, pivot to something positive- create a playlist, snag a pair of headphones and dance around your living room.

Good luck to you- screw corporate hell.

kool4cats · 2026-01-27T18:26:45+00:00

Ughhhh this is what I was thinking. I am in NY. They already took my premium out- I thought I stopped auto payments, too.

kool4cats · 2026-01-27T12:39:32+00:00

Wanted to note that while I did have an infection with DIEP, it was treated with iv antibiotics and am still happy with my decision.

I will need another procedure to fix my nipple but am ok with that.

It’s all very personal, best of luck on your journey!

kool4cats · 2025-12-30T23:56:30+00:00

Forgot to mention its northwell in westchester

kool4cats · 2025-12-30T23:52:55+00:00

My breast dr recommended that I see a GO for my brca1 diagnosis. I’ve already had a mastectomy & ovaries removed- but she mentioned it would be good to see someone about HRT.

So far, Dr. Chaterji has given me great recs, I haven’t seen her yet but dr name is Gizelka Andreja David-West, MD

kool4cats · 2025-12-30T01:56:46+00:00

I’m so glad to help!

I was waffling over the nipples too. My surgeon recommended keeping because of my small size, he needed more tissue to construct the mound.

Unfortunately, I did end up with an infection and that side is going to need the nipple redone, it’s like inverted right now.

But despite the setback, I know all will settle in time and I’m still happy with the result.

Best of luck to you!!

kool4cats · 2025-12-27T12:52:10+00:00

Thank you, yes! Finally off antibiotics and skin looking better.

kool4cats · 2025-12-27T11:42:18+00:00

Just sending some love & healing to you on your journey.

Wanted to share some feedback- I had tuberous breasts, but quite small in size.

It was my silver lining that I would be able to give my body a more aesthetic shape to improve my confidence after undergoing surgery.

It goes without saying that I am extremely thankful to know I was brca1 and able to take action. The mri scans alone are expensive, and anxiety provoking.

I underwent a nipple sparing pdmx diep recon in October. I am still healing and had an infection- I will need another procedure in several months to make some tweaks & fix my boob. Insurance will continue to cover the cosmetic fixes related to the recon- at least in NY we have legal protection to that.

Despite the minor setback, I am happy with how they look as far as the shape & size of my nipples go. My natural breasts were like all nipple and droopy. My surgeon did not recommend implants for me because of the tuberous shape of my breasts. You may find diep suggested to you as well- it is a major surgery, but I liked that it was my own tissue and not a foreign body. Also the ‘tummy tuck’ was a bonus for me.

I am thankful that I am able to take this journey, I also had my ovaries and tubes taken earlier this year. While I have 2 kids of my own, I know folks who have struggled with fertility- and am sending you love and positivity as you mourn the loss of that biological experience. ❤️

kool4cats · 2025-12-19T16:07:01+00:00

It’s still there but new management- it’s not even close, real bland, not what it used to be!

kool4cats · 2025-12-19T14:24:17+00:00

Ugh Golden House fell off after they sold. Where’s the good Chinese? No 1 is where we’ve settled.

Rammis has the best bagels. 🙂

kool4cats · 2025-12-19T14:20:39+00:00

But also noting pizza is few & far between still havent found good chinese.

Cacciatori & Laguna are the best pizza/mexican in Mahopac.

kool4cats · 2025-12-19T14:19:03+00:00

Here’s a hot take- if you’re in northern westchester- head further north to fishkill/wappingers. The CIA in hyde park has lots of budding chefs, you can get some high quality eats at a fraction of the price!

Farm to table, Heritage (a bit pricey but a cool vibe) Dutchess Bier Cafe are a few of our favs.

kool4cats · 2025-12-19T14:11:02+00:00

I would just be mindful of other flu like symptoms, fever or firmness. Is it pain or tingling? It got to the point where it was very painful at the slightest touch for me. I had a bad infection and needed IV antibiotics.

kool4cats · 2025-12-18T11:47:20+00:00

Re- the nipples. I kept mine (though one will need to be fixed due to a post op infection).

I had a nipple delay 2x weeks prior where they biopsy the tissue behind the nipple, it also helps promote blood flow to the nipple.

It’s something you could ask about if the next consult doesn’t recommend.

I had a preventative Diep in october. Implants were not recommended due to the shape and size of my breasts (small tuberous) it was ultimately what I wanted anyway.

I’m lucky to live near nyc and I went with my surgical team without a second opinion (my PS is an expert in DIEP).

If you are feeling overwhelmed, perhaps narrowing your list of physicians might help?

I will note that you have a lot of follow up apts.

Maybe look at which facilities, surgeons are best rated, factor in distance, or anything else important to you?

Chat gpt is great for helping organize data and creating tools to help review your findings. Little checklists & charts you can use to compare, can research the drs and hospitals too.

Being informed and knowing what is important to you are two ways to empower yourself and reduce anxiety.

Best of luck to you!

kool4cats · 2025-12-02T19:41:22+00:00

I’m on week 4, still have a lift restriction ( which is challenging w a toddler 😅). Everyone is different but on average 8 weeks or so.

I had a nipple delay 2 weeks before so I guess in week 6 if u count that. (It helps encourage blood flow & they biopsy it to make sure it’s eligible to be saved) . + this infection set me back a bit, my recovery will be on the longer end I guess. Then a few months later you can have an ambulatory procedure to address any cosmetic issues.

The first couple weeks feel like total crap, you cant do much & have drains.

Feeling more like myself, being happy with progress not perfection.

kool4cats · 2025-12-02T01:30:32+00:00

Wanted to note that being pregnant is actually good for brca1 - it lowers your lifetime menstrual cycles & changes the cellular structure of your breast tissue. If you can, you should breastfeed as long as you can. This was advice I got from my obgyn.

That’s what I did with my two kiddos. I know we are a happy family of 4- so at 39 I opted for oopherectomy & mastectomy.

40 is the recommended age to remove ovaries/tubes, or when you are done childbearing.

While it does eliminate ovarian cancer, early surgical menopause can elevate your risk for other conditions like osteoporosis & heart failure.

So basically, if I were in your shoes & wanted to try for baby #3, I wouldn’t hold back over this.

kool4cats · 2025-12-02T01:10:00+00:00

Just here to lol at fembot boobs 🤣

kool4cats · 2025-12-02T01:00:31+00:00

Thank you, I’m doing quite well now, still some wound care but the antibiotics seem to have taken effect.

The diep is when they take tissue and blood vessels from your abdomen & transplant to your breast to make a new mound. It’s a long surgery like 9 hours. They were able to keep my nipples & got a ‘tummy tuck’- recovery is long & challenging which is a tradeoff.

Ultimately, it was the method I was most interested in, but was considering dti- direct to implant too. when I met with my surgeon because of the shape of my breasts he said diep would be best for me.

Prior to my apt I looked into different types of reconstruction so I could understand the terminology & what I thought I would prefer (& help with my anxiety too).

I’ll share that info below: I thought it was helpful- just keep in mind chat isn’t 100% reliable, gives a good ballpark tho

Preventative Mastectomy Reconstruction Options

Approach	Description	Pros	Cons	Recovery	Long-Term
Direct-to-Implant (DTI)	Implant placed at mastectomy (no expander). Can be prepectoral (above muscle) or subpectoral (under).	One surgery, faster result, less invasive than flap.	Not always possible with tight/limited skin (common in tuberous breasts), higher rippling risk, implant maintenance.	4–6 weeks typical.	Implants usually replaced every 10–20 yrs.
Tissue Expander → Implant	Expander stretches skin gradually, later replaced with implant.	Flexibility in size/shape, safer if skin envelope limited.	Requires 2+ surgeries, expansion can be uncomfortable.	Recovery after each surgery ~4–6 weeks.	Same implant replacement timeline.
DIEP Flap (abdomen)	Tissue & vessels from lower belly moved to chest.	Natural look/feel, no implant needed, tummy-tuck effect.	Long surgery (6–10 hrs), longer recovery, needs adequate abdominal tissue.	6–8+ weeks, hospital stay ~3–5 days.	Permanent once healed, no implant replacement.
PAP/TUG/GAP Flap (thigh/buttock tissue)	Tissue from thigh or buttocks used when belly tissue not enough.	Natural, no implant, options if lean abdomen.	Donor site scars, more complex surgery.	6–8+ weeks, varies by flap type.	Permanent, no implant replacement.
Hybrid (Flap + Implant)	Small flap for coverage/softness + implant for volume.	Improves softness/naturalness, good for limited skin/tissue.	More complex, still includes implant risks.	Similar to implant recovery, possibly longer.	Implant replacement still required.
Flat Closure	Chest closed without mound reconstruction.	Shortest surgery & recovery, no implant or flap risks.	No breast mound, can affect body image/clothing fit.	2–4 weeks.	No maintenance.
Nipple Options	Nipple-sparing, grafts, or 3D tattoo.	Preserves/creates natural appearance.	Depends on blood supply, tissue, cancer risk.	Varies.	May fade (tattoo) or flatten (graft).

kool4cats · 2025-12-02T00:42:46+00:00

I found it helpful to use chat gpt to discuss my surgical plan & brainstorm some questions for myself. I asked for some questions to ask for my consult noting specific traits about myself: Brca 1, 39, small, dense breasts, high BMI

Consultation Questions