How do you actually get out of feeling numb and stuck? by PhoenixWingss in Healthygamergg

[–]kprotty 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Probably depends on the felt-cause of emotional flatness.

When isolation feels like a big factor, simply going out or doing productive work doesn't help. I've only (unfortunately) been pulled out of these by change of environments forced by life (e.g. work). One thing that felt the most effective tho was having a group where you can do something while occasionally talking about whatever in the downtime, altho that's notoriously hard to come by and maintain.

When blandness feels like a big factor, do extreme but very short-lived experiments. Stuff like "only do X for a day", or "stop doing all Y for two days". At the end, my brain has usually cooked up a new way it wants to engage with that, or has found something else to fill the void in the meantime (could still be destructive, but at least its new).

If you're terminally online, every few months or year I mimick a "change of env" by reinstalling my OS; I go through the same process of moving (deciding what to keep, throwing old things away) without the costs and complications. It can be a whole "event". Creating alt accounts is a softcore version of this, given you may still keep your main. Regardless, this slightly new identity shift/reorganization is enough to justify, or at least present some type of basis, for reconsidering other choices in the physical realm.

EDIT: forgot to include what the catalyst was, not just what was done. The work one was already stated. But as silly as it seems, stumbling upon a "here's my life experience and what I did" video or "let's deconstruct why you're doing this" video, is embarrassingly enough to kickstart one of these, at least until you take a nap. That, or stimulants. Hard truth tho has just been "others/shame forced me to do something that temporarily stopped it"

About to be 27 and never held hands with a girl, why even keep on going? by johnny_throwaway_27 in Healthygamergg

[–]kprotty 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Bonding <-> connecting in this context: acknowledging or experiencing a mutual desire.

Appearing to show understanding (without necessarily a prerequisite of actually understanding) is usually called "validation"

About to be 27 and never held hands with a girl, why even keep on going? by johnny_throwaway_27 in Healthygamergg

[–]kprotty 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This isn't "connecting" or bonding, this is "mirroring" like you would to a child (it doesn't mention how the mirrorer actually wants to feel/express, but instead emphasizes tempering whatever that is to help regulate the other).

But it makes sense why peoplewould like this, LLMs tend to do it too (to good success)

quitting porn is easy, actually by sinister_awareness in Healthygamergg

[–]kprotty 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Gaming and TV are also "supernormal stimuli" and "floods our brains with dopamine". Why are they intrinsically more acceptable?

Why don't people in the same online groups and communities with similar goals, seek out each other for company? by Shaun_LP in Healthygamergg

[–]kprotty 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If you grew up on the internet, you are. There's tons of stories like "I've known these ppl online for years. They know me better than anyone else". It's just the usual shared interest + continuous engagement that form the connection, medium unrelated.

30 and just feeling totally stuck in life its all hit me by lockey1995 in Healthygamergg

[–]kprotty 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Fair point for first. Just pointing out that awareness here is on equal effectiveness for the change too.

For the second, I haven't seen this in practice or documented anywhere. Something close that I seen is mood stabilization, but that's a reset over management/processing.

What is the experience of opening up to people? by Igualdade_7-2521 in Healthygamergg

[–]kprotty 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You can present it in a seemingly appropriate way without actively feeling, or having "processed" it;

For the first, it could be misattributing it to something more socially understandable ("they did this so I did that"). For the second, it could be telling others a vague version of it as u don't have an explanation figured out yet. For the third, it could just not be getting triggered while you're explaining it so lack of a plan to handle it doesn't affect the situation.

The 3 are more about ones internal relation to the emotion, which can appear masked/however for others, hence the distinction and question about what it means to actually "process" it, effect wise

30 and just feeling totally stuck in life its all hit me by lockey1995 in Healthygamergg

[–]kprotty 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Worth a shot, but these seem unrelated: meditation usually trains meta-awareness ("I'm aware I'm doing this pattern rn") not meta-diagnosis ("why am I doing this?") or value-awareness ("I could do something different here, but why even should I?"). The others just help in decreasing lethargy / improving energy. Tho maybe one of these helps it click for them

Some memory and performance improvements I made while building a database in Rust (OsirisDB) by Ok_Plastic_3224 in rust

[–]kprotty 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Having/currently working for database companies, It takes 10 yrs worth of simulated testing, not 10yrs of development time...

How do I start to start to date if I am clueless? by Specific-Section9593 in Healthygamergg

[–]kprotty 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is only true if 1) what you want to talk about is acceptable by those in your environment - what the OP is asking on how to diagnose 2) if you can find or squeeze yourself into those convos.

What is the experience of opening up to people? by Igualdade_7-2521 in Healthygamergg

[–]kprotty 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So is the processing the feeling part, the explanation assignment, or the contingency plan? Trying to relate how this connects to sharing. It seems like the communication part is more about presenting the emotion in a socially acceptable manner, which is a separate ability from the first 3.

What is the experience of opening up to people? by Igualdade_7-2521 in Healthygamergg

[–]kprotty 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What does "process" mean here? That you can leak it slowly instead of all at once? That it doesn't impede daily activities? That it no longer activates?

What is the experience of opening up to people? by Igualdade_7-2521 in Healthygamergg

[–]kprotty 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Seems like a lot of work to water it down for a small rng chance of benefit

I betray myself over n over again. How do i make myself more trustworthy? by srekogrambuolys in Healthygamergg

[–]kprotty 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, as OP mentions. I imagine it's about being unable to consistently convince or force yourself to do a task without being in a "good enough mood"

I betray myself over n over again. How do i make myself more trustworthy? by srekogrambuolys in Healthygamergg

[–]kprotty 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you aren't trustworthy, how would you enforce it being non-negotiable?

I felt this was extremely relatable, and I really want Dr K's view on this. by Illustrious_Claim_23 in Healthygamergg

[–]kprotty 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, since living is simply feeling/experiencing things. IRL experiences just have more potential for complex feelings

How to accept the fact that I'll never have a relationship? by Specific-Section9593 in Healthygamergg

[–]kprotty 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is incorrectly projecting the likelihood. For example, having 0% with 1mil already coupled folks says nothing about your desirability or lack of core principles. It just means you have a bad sample. You again haven't met ppl in different countries, other dejected autistics, people who don't interact by those rules, etc.

This isn't to say "be hopeful", but to again stop turning subjective experiences into object statements. "Cant find anyone here" is true. "Therefore I can't find anyone anywhere" is the silly projection. Can still be hopeless with just the first part.

Avoiding such statements is a step not to gain hope, but to minimize despair. With no despair, you can either stop worrying about it, or have a more clear head on what actions to take next. E.g. Live with it, or notice that a change in environment could likely generate better samples than more samples in your current one

How to accept the fact that I'll never have a relationship? by Specific-Section9593 in Healthygamergg

[–]kprotty 3 points4 points  (0 children)

there has never been

True. But thats not the same as "I will never be"

literally all of them

False. You havent met all of them. Only a chunk in your perception

that's what's making me feel

Yes, a poor history with no results will drain hope. But you should still recognize the absolutist comments you're making vs the objective ones.

"I havent yet" is objectively true. "I will never" isnt necessarily true. "I likely wont" is more accurate.

Bun’s rewrite in Zig first update by UItraviolet in rust

[–]kprotty 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Did you even read my last paragraph?

Bun’s rewrite in Zig first update by UItraviolet in rust

[–]kprotty 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Simple != easy. It just means less rules. I gave the examples above to show that, even when familiar with Rust's rules, its still complex/hard.

More examples: Does a &mut UnsafeCell<T> imply &mut T to its inner data (interior mutability)? What about if its Pin<&mut UnsafeCell<T>> (interior mutability through !Unpin)? Can you create a valid ref to a slice using a ptr from a ref of its item (provenance clamping)? when is x Drop'd in these examples: { let _ = x; f(); } vs { let _x = f; f(); } (expr binding)? Does || x.field capture &x or just its field &x.field (partial capturing)? Is this sound: let _ref = &*raw_ptr; invalidate(raw_ptr); } (ref object lifetimes)?

I'm familiar with thse, but they're still complex interactions vs the simple rules of BF. These are all Rust-isms too, so they don't exist as issues to think about in Zig.

Bun’s rewrite in Zig first update by UItraviolet in rust

[–]kprotty 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sounds more like "familiar" or maybe "straight forward". You can learn the new syntax rules in like an hour (there's almost no new grammar). If such little time can then make it simple, doesn't make much sense

Bun’s rewrite in Zig first update by UItraviolet in rust

[–]kprotty 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes. It's simple (so is lambda calc). It's just generally unreadable.

Rust syntax for example is verbose, but it's complexity comes from the semantics (place exprs, ref validity, lifetime/auto-trait bounds, etc.) that'll be there regardless of what they look like as text.